Les Jones

Scientists Discover Most Kick-ass “Grindhouse” Review in Universe

Tuesday, April 10th, 2007 | A&E |

Neil Cumpston:

PLANET OF TERROR is directed by Robert Rodriquez, which is all I need to say. In fact, instead of his name on poster saying, “Directed By”, he can legally change his name to a picture of a naked Viking woman on a snowmobile with flamethrowers out the back and the flamethrowers are killing a Yeti. That’s the level of guaranteed quality his name brings to stuff.

…

Then the second movie started. It’s called DEATH PROOF. You know what it isn’t-PROOF? Boner-inducing proof.

This one was directed by Quentin Tarantino, who’s been an actor in stuff like RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION (he’s also in PLANET OF TERROR and DEATH PROOF). This is his first directing job and the dude KICKS ALL SPECTRUM OF ASS. He kicks ass that isn’t even in the ass area. Like, his director skills are so stripper-with-chainsaw good they make you grow asses on other parts of your body that he then kicks. I hope he directs more movies. I would see them, burn down the theater, and then call the fire department so I could tell all the fireman about what a kick-ass movie it was. When they started to attack me with axes, I’d fly away because Quentin’s movie would have given me ninja flight.

And that’s just the part that isn’t filled with profanity. YOU CLICK HERE NOW!

4 Comments to Scientists Discover Most Kick-ass “Grindhouse” Review in Universe

Joe P.
April 11, 2007

man, that movie was more fun than a monkey knife fight. even the fake previews were primo.

newscoma
April 11, 2007

I can’t help it. I laughed reading that review.
That was something.

-B
April 12, 2007

I’m wondering where Cumpston gets his info that Death Proof is Tarantino’s first directing job.

I can easily think of 5 or 6 big films that Quentin has directed, say like, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction (also wrote those I believe), Kill Bill (both of them), Four Rooms, Jackie Brown…

I’m sure there are others.

Les Jones
April 12, 2007

I think he’s acting like he doesn’t know that as part of his schtick.

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