“Don’t Eat It, Steve!”

Friday, October 12th, 2007 | Food & Drink |

While searching for huitlacoche information I found Don’t Eat It, Steve:

Pickled Pork Rinds

While perusing the “Good Lord, NOOOO!” aisle of the supermarket, I came across the atrocity known as Dolores Brand Pickled Pork Rinds. These are not the crunchy pork rinds you’ll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins. The label says “Ready to Eat.” They left off “By Dumb-Asses.”

1991 Urkel-Os Cereal

This particular box of Urkel-O’s is unique because it’s some kind of weird sales sample, and has “marketing features and benefits” on the back. One of the “features” is actually listed as: Fun, circle-shaped product. I had no idea circles were so fun. At least now I know what to get the kids next Christmas. A fucking circle.

I’d also like to point out, that the cereal itself doesn’t have a single thing to do with Urkel. It’s just strawberry and banana flavored rings. If there was an episode where Urkel lost his virginity to a strawberry flavored ring, I missed it.

Potted Meat

Not surprisingly, I’ve come up with a little slogan the peeps who handle Potted Meat Marketing can use (no charge, as always): POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes.

And he’s got a review of canned huitlacoche.

3 Comments to “Don’t Eat It, Steve!”

Will P
October 13, 2007

The sneeze is one of my regular browsing stops. Almost everything he writes is hilarious, especially the stories involving his two sons. If you already seen it i’d suggest cockeyed.com too. It’s another one of my favorites

Will P
October 13, 2007

dammit, that should read “If you have not already seen it…”

GunGeek
October 15, 2007

One of my favorite activities when in a grocery store with someone that hasn’t read it before is to show them the ingredients list on a can of Potted Meat.

That’s the kind of thing you put in your emergency kit because you just know you will never ever use it and forget to replace it. It will only get eaten in a serious emergency.

Maybe not even then.