Superman vs. Thor

Thursday, December 6th, 2007 | Comic Books |

My hero Dave Campbell gives his answer to the question of whether Thor or Superman would win in a fight.

I won’t spoil his answer, but I’ll ask another question. Superman or Thor: who has the more ridiculous way to fly?

Superman can fly because he’s from Krypton, which is larger than Earth and has a much greater gravitational pull. Superman on Earth is like Buzz Aldrin jumping around on the moon - he should be able to jump really high, but he’ll come back down. He should be able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, but not fly in any meaningful sense of the word. He couldn’t accelerate once he’s off the ground, he couldn’t navigate except by contorting his body or directing airflow, and he couldn’t hover in mid-air unless he flapped his arms like wings.

Thor flies by throwing his magic hammer Mjolnir and hanging on for the ride. My physics background consists of one year of freshman physics, so I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the hammer is a red herring. If the basic principle worked Thor or any other really strong superhero could fly just by throwing his arm really hard. You wouldn’t want to go fishing with a guy like that because he’d sail into the trees on every cast.

Here’s an example that doesn’t require super-strength. Are you strong enough to do a chin-up? Yeah? Okay. Now put both hands behind your neck and try pulling yourself into the air.

Did it work?

2 Comments to Superman vs. Thor

Steve K.
December 6, 2007

While unsuccessfully trying to find the outraged 10,000 word monograph I saw a few years ago, which laid out in vast detail the physiological, anatomical, and biochemical reasons why organic web-shooters Make No Sense AT ALL!!!, I came across this:

http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/spiderman-stupid/default.php

Scroll down for THE SPIDER-MAN FISHERMAN ACTION FIGURE.

“Peter Parker, though very busy, may have on occasion gone fishing. But can any of you think of a single, remotely plausible reason he’d do it in costume? And not just costume, but a modified costume featuring custom made Spidey hip waders. Which I guess means your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is into Fly Fishin’”

Good point.

Les Jones
December 6, 2007

Also, wouldn’t organic web shooters come out of his butt?

Man, I totally remember the issue when the Human Torch gave Spidey the Spider Dune Buggy. He had the wrest the wheel from him and teach him to drive.

From that link: “I do recall that [the Spiderman live action show” featured the agonizingly slow pace of all 1977 television action shows. If you like 2-3 minute establishing shots of cars pulling into driveways, you’ll probably disagree.”

Have you ever seen the multi-part episode of “Sanford and Son” when Fred and Lamont win a trip to Hawaii? It’s filmed *exactly* like that. In once scene Fred and Lamont are trying to escape gangsters, so they run outside and get in a cab. The gangsters run outside and get in their car to give chase. The director doesn’t cut away to the chase and let you assume they’ve gotten in the car. You have to watch as all four gangsters open their doors, get in the car, close their doors, and then the driver puts the car in gear and the car leaves in pursuit.