Attempting to avert financial disaster, George Bush adds PayPal button to WhiteHouse.gov Web site

Americans who feel their $700 billion contribution isn’t enough now have another way to show they care. On Sunday evening George Bush added a PayPal button to the WhiteHouse.gov Web site. With a mouseclick citizens can hit the tipjars of Lehman Brothers, Countrywide Mortgage, and other financially-distressed investment houses.

Taxpayers who contribute $100 or more will receive a commemorative FINANCIAL DO-OVER 2008 tote bag. “As a country we’ve forgotten the importance of saving,” said Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke. “For God’s sake let’s not forget the importance of toting.”

On Tuesday Bush plans to add an Amazon store and Google Adsense. “TWO PERCENT of every book or DVD you purchase through the Amazon links directly offsets someone’s no-money down subprime mortgage!!!” the president gushed on his blog. The two-term U.S. commander in chief said he got the idea while instant messaging with Italian foreign minister Franco Frattini.