But I thought crime labs had a “30 minutes or your DNA test is free” guarantee

10 things about the entertainment industry that piss me off:

8. Weird Science: No we don’t have computer databases of every matchbook from every club in the tri-state area. No we can’t piece a broken bottle together and get a fingerprint that comes back instantly to a known felon (that gets picked up in 20 seconds). NO DNA TESTING IS NOT A “WHILE YOU WAIT” PROCESS!

And from comments:

Dude, CSI pisses me off so bad. I have actually had a person whose mailbox got hit by a car ask if I was going to take DNA samples. “Um, yes lady, I’m sure the car left some bodily fluids behind, and sure, we’ll spend $10,000 on a test to solve the damage to property case regarding your $25 mailbox.”

Hat tip to Tam.