Confused about investing? Ask a celebrity. They know everything.

Cracked – Nicolas Cage Investment Advice: Be In Movies, Buy Everything:

Hi, I’m Nicolas Cage! I’m an Oscar winning actor (!!!) and the star of all your favorite movies! I’m here to give you all the investment advice you’ll need to become famous! Now let’s begin!

But before we can begin, let’s cover some basic definitions first:

Asset – An Asset is something you own that’s worth something, like money or hair.

Liability – A Liability is something you own that is not worth something, like your family or joy.

Income – Income is money that comes to you, like flies to a magnet, or honey to a vacuum cleaner.

Expenditure – Expenditures are when money goes away from you, like squirrels do when you try to pet them.

Now let’s begin again!