Ridiculous Things About Sons of Anarchy #2

Blogging is light right now, so here’s a post from the archives.

Ridiculous Things About Sons of Anarchy #2 – They commit crimes like they want people to Facebook the pictures

f#&!ing ski masks. How do they work?

f#&!ing ski masks. How do they work?

The bad boys on Sons of Anarchy are just too pretty to cover up their mugshots. Mostly they rob and murder in broad daylight wearing SAMCRO-branded lifestyle apparel and looking like they just stepped out of a lineup.

  • In Season 1 Opie, Bobby and Jax go to murder the port commissioner in broad daylight without masks. His mistress sees them through the window and gives the police a description for a composite sketch of Opie and Bobby. Bobby goes to jail and faces the death penalty.
  • In Season 2 Opie blows up a Nords meth lab without wearing a mask. He gets videotaped and Ethan Zobelle gives Deputy Hale a disk with the video.
  • The same season the gang busts in on Zobelle’s gang to murder them all, again with no masks, only to find an audience full of families and a bank of video cameras. And then they all to go to prison.

We should have worn ski masks

We should have worn ski masks

The only thing the gang has in their favor is that the police chief is totally in bed with them.

CHIEF UNSER: Did anyone see who killed alla these people?
WITNESS #1: Oh hell yes I did! They were riding Harley-Davidson motorcycles and wearing black leather Sons of Anarchy cuts.
WITNESS #2: There was a tall beefy one with a red beard and his hair tucked into a black knit cap.
WITNESS #3: Right, and one guy was fat with a huge salt and pepper beard. And he had white stitching on the armholes of his cut.
WITNESS #4: Yeah, and one of ‘em was a skinny Puerto Rican kid with a short mohawk and tattoos on both sides of his head.
CHIEF UNSER: Shucks, boys. Looks like I caught myself a stone cold whodunit.

PreviouslyRidiculous Things About Sons of Anarchy #1

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One Response to Ridiculous Things About Sons of Anarchy #2

  1. Chris Byrne says:

    And it IS stupid… but the VAST majority of criminals make no attempt to disguise themselves in any way.

    It’s actually extremely rare for anyone to bother with masks.

    Mostly they either don’t think about it at all, or they depend on intimidation and the reluctance of people to get involved, testify etc…

    Surprisingly few witnesses are killed as well… Either from a rational appreciation that it makes things worse, from a natural reluctance to kill… or for the obvious reason for all of this:

    Most criminals are stupid, careless, and have no appreciation of consequences.