I had heard about Twilight. It was a TV show that came from a book that was made into a movie. I knew about it because The Simpsons made fun of it and because everyone talked about sparkly vampires.
At some point I decided that I ought to watch it. Not because I thought I would like it, but because it was enough of a thing in pop culture that I should know something about it firsthand. So one of the movies came on TV and I tried watching it.
What a bunch of nothing. Nothing happened in that stupid movie. The camera lingers on long, loving scenes of dark woodlands. Twilight’s fan base must be forestry majors. I only lasted about 30 minutes before I gave up.