Category Archives: Funny Ha-Ha

I’m not running for office …

I’m not running for office, but feel free to put one of my signs in your yard.

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The Worst-Tasting Thing – a Delicious Tale of Halloween Horror

Someone asked what I thought the worst-tasting thing would be. I think the worst-tasting thing would be the Juice of a Dead Raccoon That Fermented in Spoiled Milk That Ran Down the Devil’s Asscrack and Dripped Into a Fetid, Bubbling … Continue reading

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Science!

A new study claims that Louis Pasteur didn’t perform his most famous experiments. The paper’s authors believe Pasteur’s dad did the experiment while his mom went to buy posterboard and that “the parents were probably up until frikkin’ 3 AM … Continue reading

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My Million Dollar iPhone Idea

I figured out a way to make a million dollars. I’m going to make a smartphone that’s exactly like the iPhone in every way except it vibrates loud enough you don’t miss half of your calls.

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Game of Thrones spoilers from the books

I just started reading my first George R. R Martin book. I now have a sudden, inexplicable urge to post spoilers on Internet forums, so… Game of Thrones books spoiler alert! The Bran* chapters are really boring. Plot synopsis of … Continue reading

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“Star Wars” is “Gone With the Wind” in Space

My new hobby – Watching Gone With the Wind with my wife and explaining that it’s the basis for Star Wars. There’s Scarlett and Rhett. There’s Princess Leia and Han Solo. Sherman is burning Atlanta. Grand Moff Tarkin is destroying … Continue reading

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Coffee

I like half and half in my coffee, but what I really like is a third and a third and a third.

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Spoiler Alert Fails

Google for “sons or anarchy recap.” I wonder if anyone died in this week’s episode? OK, sure. Now I know who died. But who killed him is still a mystery, right? That’s some mighty fine spoiler alertin’ there, Cletus.

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45 year old spoiler alert!

45 year old spoiler alert! Charlton Heston didn’t land on an alien planet. It’s really Earth after apes have taken over.

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GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN DAY 4

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN DAY 4 – Lord Humongous and his motorcycle horde reign terror on the wastelands, seizing what precious little gasoline remains. Judicial Watch Files FOIA for Information Related to Closing of WWII Memorial McDonald’s Employee Admits Being Paid $15 … Continue reading

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GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN DAY 2

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN DAY 2 – Has anyone else resorted to cannibalism already? I predict the government shutdown will cause just as much mayhem and breakdown of society as the sequester didn’t.

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Bosch Dishwasher Long Term Review

Back in 2009 we replaced our old dishwasher with a Bosch dishwasher. Though I loved it at first, I wouldn’t buy another. The Good I bought a Bosch because it was the quietest dishwasher on the market. It really is … Continue reading

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Conversation while searching for a leather couch on Craigslist.

MELISSA: Go to Craigslist and I’ll show you that couch I found in Maryville. ME: OK, I’ll do a search for “leather couch.” MELISSA: The search I did was for “couch leather.” ME: We don’t want couch leather. We want … Continue reading

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Something to work into my writing

“She was atwitter before there was a Twitter.”

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Help! My ph Meter is Broken

My pH meter is broken. I can’t afford to get it fixed until payday and I need to know the pH of lemon juice. Which leads to this week’s poll question What’s the pH of Lemon Juice?  0  1  2 … Continue reading

Posted in Funny Ha-Ha, Polls, Science | 3 Comments