The Worst-Tasting Thing – a Delicious Tale of Halloween Horror

Someone asked what I thought the worst-tasting thing would be.

I think the worst-tasting thing would be the Juice of a Dead Raccoon That Fermented in Spoiled Milk That Ran Down the Devil’s Asscrack and Dripped Into a Fetid, Bubbling Puddle on the Floor of a Horse Stable.

In fact, the only thing I can think of that would taste worse than the Juice of a Dead Raccoon That Fermented in Spoiled Milk That Ran Down the Devil’s Asscrack and Dripped Into a Fetid, Bubbling Puddle on the Floor of a Horse Stable would be Diet Juice of a Dead Raccoon That Fermented in Spoiled Milk That Ran Down the Devil’s Asscrack and Dripped Into a Fetid, Bubbling Puddle on the Floor of a Horse Stable. I don’t know why Snapple even makes that flavor.

National Amatuer Drinking Night Has Begun

National Amatuer Drinking Night has begun. Lots of people you meet in bars and on the road tonight will have been drinking, and some of them don’t get much practice, so they’re pretty bad at it. Be careful out there.

Gingerbread AT-AT Walker

This.

There’s a jolly old elf named Saint Nick. Have you heard of him?

Merry Christmas to everyone. Thanks for reading me. Today’s my last day at work and then I’m off for a week. Really looking forward to spending time with the kids this year.

Netflix Reviews You Can Use: Crackling Fireplace Video

Thanks, Arlene!

George Ford has done it again! A cinematic masterpiece that can not be missed! Five stars.

The ending will shock you to your core ! Warning this could offend others so brace yourself for the movie of a life time . You will cry and cheer !!

This is a great movie. I especially love the part at around 55:57 where the log on the right shifts slightly.

Sadly this is the edited US version with all swearing and nudity removed, and not the full 90 minute DVD release available in European and Asian territories. Anyone looking for the full experience will have to go elsewhere.

I liked this video much better than “This is a Test of the Emergency Broadcast System”, and almost as much as “Test Pattern at 3AM”.

This adaptation was okay, but not as good as the 1959 original. I’m not sure whose idea it was to replace Audrey Hepburn with Samuel L. Jackson, but that may have been one of the more brilliant casting choices of this film.

The book was better.

Got Netflix or Amazon Prime?

Watch it free.

Fireplace for your Home presents Crackling Fireplace

Fireplace for your Home presents Crackling Fireplace with Music

Fireplace for your Home Christmas Music edition

Fireplace for your Home Romance Edition

Evening Crackling Campfire with Music – presented by Fireplace for your Home

Brined Turkey

Sean suggested brining the Thanksgiving turkeys. After blegging for advice on Facebook we tried that this year using Alton Brown’s recipe. They were delicious. My wife said it was the best her oven-roasted turkeys had ever tasted.

On Facebook Melody Byrne said she and Chris cooked their fried turkeys that way, too, so I brined the turkey for the infrared fryer. It was good, though I couldn’t tell much difference compared to the way it usually tastes with a butter injection – it’s always moist. The gravy made from the drippings was good as always, if a little on the salty side.

Next year I’m going to go use the butter injection for the fried turkey and brine the oven bird. BOB W.

Tom Girsch told me that you can play around with the brine recipe to taste, but that it’s important to keep the ratio of liquid (including melted ice) to salt and sugar constant. Good to know.

Word of the Day – Spatchcock

From my friend Art on Facebook: “Spatchcock (verb) – to go all kinds of medieval on a turkey.” That’s about the long and short of it. Details from Alton Brown here.

I’m taking Sean’s advice and brining the turkeys this year, likewise using Alton Brown’s recipe. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Meanwhile, here’s one of the brined turkeys about to go into the infrared fryer. He’ll be fine. St. Francis is watching over him.

Before

Previous WOTDBrannock Device

Infra-red (Oil-less) Turkey Fryer

Who's a pretty bird?

Here’s my post from 2010, which turned out to be surprisingly popular. An infrared turkey is hands down tastier and moister than an oven-roasted bird and the drippings make incredible gravy.

I still think a deep-fried turkey tastes the best. Where infrared beats deep-frying is safety, which matters to me because I have small children, and cost. The infrared turkey fryer costs more the first time you use it, but you don’t have to spend 30 or 40 bucks on peanut oil every year, so by the second use you’ve come out ahead.

Shark Week – People forgot the reason for the season

“I miss the old days when we set up a simple display & exchanged small gifts for Shark Week. It’s so commercialized now.”
— Shane Rhyne

On the twelfth day of Shark Week my true love gave to me …

The Spirit of Christmas

This was seven year old Katie’s letter to Santa that she left with the milk and cookies. Mr. Tommy works at Friends, Katie’s after-school program. Katie really likes him and he’s leaving for a new job. Katie told Santa she didn’t want anything for Christmas except for Mr. Tommy to not leave her after-school program. We thought that was really sweet of her.

Merry Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas, y’all. This has been a very drama-free holiday for us. We got the tree up early. We got the presents bought and wrapped with no fuss. Post-25th we plan on visiting friends and family and watching old movies. Hope you and yours get to do the same.

– Les

Last-minute Christmas Gifts Made in Tennessee

Rex Hammock’s impressive list.

Infrared (oil-less) turkey fryer

Here’s my post from last year.

I’m using it again this year instead of the regular turkey fryer. I still think frying a turkey in oil tastes better, but the infrared turkey fryer is safer around kids, doesn’t require half an hour to warm up, and doesn’t use $40 in peanut oil. Also, the drippings make the best turkey gravy ever.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Happy 4th

Have fun. Blow up something. Get out on the road.

It was the least I could do