Les Jones

If I Had a High Tension Power Line in My Yard I’d Totally Do This

Thursday, February 28th, 2008 | Nifty | Permalink | 7 Comments |

“Photograph of pine tree made from flourescent tubes powered by emissions from overhead power lines as part of work for residency at Bristol University Physics Department. 2003″

To put it another way - that “pine tree” is a bunch of fluorescent lights. There’s no electrical cord attached to them. They’re powered by the electro-magnetic induction of the high tension powerlines above.

Hat tip to jwz.

Pressure Washers Can Cut Holes in You?

Saturday, August 11th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 3 Comments |

Something else I didn’t know. “Exactly eight years ago, my ex-brother-in-law, Joe, damn near lost his foot. He was victim of a pressure washer incident.” The real problem was the infection, but the pressure washer is what created the wound. Yowch.

Open the Business Pages to Letter “A”

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Melissa ran out of gas on the way to work this morning. I had just gotten dressed and still had to get the kids ready, so we decided AAA* was the best bet, but she didn’t have her card with her. I picked up the phone book to find AAA’s number.

Have you ever looked at the first page of the business listings in the phone book?

I knew that there were lots of companies with names like A-1-A Appliance Services there at the #1 spot. That’s an old trick to place your listing at the top of your category in the yellow pages.

What surprised me is the number of alcohol and drug rehab services that use that trick. There are also some odd listings, like “Alcohaaaaaal” and further down the page “A Cocaaaaaaine Abuse-24 Hour Action Hotline.” Also lots of “A Able” and “AAAA” listings. Then it hit me - they’re optimizing their listings to attract people searching for AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).

* Note for foreign readers: AAA is the American Automobile Association. It’s one of the largest clubs in America thanks to its very useful roadside assistance program.

Go Read Ironic Sans

Friday, July 20th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

His ideas are even stranger than mine:

Remainder Idea #2: My Amazon “Don’t buy me this” List

On Amazon.com, you can create a Wish List of items you want, and rank them by priority so people know what to get you for your birthday. Not long ago, the lowest ranking you could give an item was labeled “Don’t buy me this.” I wondered why on Earth anybody would bother putting something on their “Wish” list and then rank it “Don’t buy me this.” So I put together a whole list of only things I didn’t want people to buy me on Amazon, and ranked them as “Don’t buy me this.” I don’t remember what was on the list anymore except for a few things like some earrings that looked like chewed gum, a talking Ann Coulter doll (for which my comment was something like, “I’d rather have a bag of dirt”), and an actual bag of dirt. Shortly after I put together my list, Amazon changed the Wish Lists so the lowest priority rank no longer says “Don’t buy me this.” It just says “lowest.” And then my list wasn’t funny anymore. To the contrary, it suggested that I kinda wanted a talking Ann Coulter doll and a bag of dirt, but just a little bit.”

I really like his idea for a stapler that looks like the creature from Aliens.

News to Me: Refrigerating Cyanoacrylate Glues, e.g., SuperGlue

Sunday, May 27th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 2 Comments |

Cyanoacrylate glue (SuperGlue, KrazyGlue, etc.) is great stuff, but it always seemed like the tubes were single-use. Once you opened the tube it would almost always be dried out the next time you needed it.

Then I read that an old model airplane builder’s trick is to refrigerate your glue, and it works with cyanoacrylate glues, too. Googling around, that seems to be true (all caps in original):

THE SHELF LIFE OF OUR CYANOACRYLATE ( SUPERGLUE ) ADHESIVES AT ROOM TEMPERATURE IS TYPICALLY 1-2 YEARS, BUT WHEN STORED IN A REFRIGERATOR ( BELOW 10 DEG C ) THE SHELF LIFE IS EXTENDED UP TO 7 YEARS!, AND IF STORED IN A FREEZER ( BELOW -5 DEG C ) THE SHELF LIFE IS VIRTUALLY INDEFINITE.

I’ll have to try that sometime. Meanwhile I’ve been buying Loctite brand cyanoacrylate glue. I don’t know how they do it, but their glue stays liquid for years even after repeated uses. Another reason I like it is that it’s a bottle and brush instead of a tube, so it’s easier to apply.

Bonus! - Found while Googling: The cyanoacrylate fuming method for developing latent fingerprints. Pictures at Google Images.

Super Krazy Bonus! - Medical uses of cyanoacrylate glue. As of 1998 the usage of 2-octyl cyanoacrylate is FDA-approved, but note that SuperGlue and KrazyGlue are methyl-2-cyanoacrylate, which according to that Wikipedia article breaks down to form formaldehyde and can cause a toxic response. Still, some people keep CA glue in their emergency kits to close wounds until they can get to hospital. From WebMD:

Until recently, butyl-2-cyanoacrylate was the only commercially available cyanoacrylate tissue adhesive. Although butyl-2-cyanoacrylate is effective in closing superficial lacerations under low tension, it has several limitations. Several studies have shown wound-breaking strength in wounds repaired with butyl-2-cyanoacrylate to be equal to that in wounds repaired with sutures at 5-7 days; however, on day 1, breaking strength with the tissue adhesive is only approximately 10-15% of that in a wound sutured with 5-0 monofilament. After polymerizing, the adhesive becomes brittle and is subject to fracturing when used in skin creases or long incisions. This restricts the use of adhesives to areas of low tension, thus limiting their use for incision repair. Butyl-2-cyanoacrylate has been used widely with good cosmetic outcomes for various plastic surgical procedures (eg, upper lid blepharoplasty, facial skin closure, scalp wound closure).

The polymer 2-octyl cyanoacrylate was formulated to correct some of the deficiencies of the shorter-chain cyanoacrylate derivatives. As an 8-carbon alkyl derivative, this polymer should be less reactive than the shorter-chain derivatives. The slower degradation of the octyl derivatives may result in lower concentrations of the cyanoacrylate polymer by-products in surrounding tissues, resulting in less inflammation. Additionally, plasticizers are added to produce a more pliable and tissue-compatible product that flexes with the skin and remains inherent for longer periods of time. The 3-dimensional breaking strength of 2-octyl cyanoacrylate is 3 times that of butyl-2-cyanoacrylate and is closer to that of a 5-0 monofilament suture. This stronger, flexible bond may allow its use on longer incisions.

One Medical version using 2-octyl cyanoacrylate is Dermabond. Like everything else you can buy it on eBay, but at $60 or so a tube it’s a bit pricey. Here’s another source at $23.95 per 0.5 ml tube.

“Welcome Google Maps Users!”

Thursday, April 26th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

San Diego Zoo Panda Cam

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 2 Comments |

Click here (preferably during daylight hours).

Words That Are Funny

Thursday, February 15th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Falafel.

“Shoot Me First Vest” - a WOTD, Quote, Guns and Star Wars 4-in-1

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 | Best Of, Guns, Nifty, Star Wars, Word of the Day | Permalink | No Comments |

Some of the more common topics I cover are quotes, the word of the day, guns, and Star Wars. Consider this a 4-in-1.

Shoot me first vest - What some people call a vest worn to conceal a gun, either inside the vest itself or holstered on the belt and covered by the vest.

Some people in the concealed carry community think that armed robbers entering a convenience store or whatever will shoot the guy with the photographer’s vest at the first chance, assuming that he’ll be armed. Other people dismiss the idea. They counter that the “shoot me firsters” are just being self-conscious about their handguns, and that most people are blissfully unaware of the fact that people in society carry concealed weapons.

So there’s the word of the day and gun angle. Here’s the quote and Star Wars angle. Massad Ayoob is a police officer, self-defense instructor, and a popular gunwriter. This is what he had to say about the idea of concealment vests being shoot me first vests:

After all these years, I’ve only found one case of anyone “getting shot first” because they were wearing vests. It is found in the very first Star Wars movie. The rebel bodyguards of Princess Leia are all wearing a uniform that includes a black vest which looks remarkably like something from Concealed Carry Clothiers. When the Imperial Storm Troopers led by Darth Vader attack their ship, the Storm Troopers blast every rebel so dressed.

Of course, Han Solo wore a vest and he didn’t get shot. Then again Han tended to preclude that problem by being the one to to shoot first. (Or at least he did until Lucas released the “special editions” of Star Wars and edited the cantina scene so that Greedo shot first.)

Bonus! - Top 10 Other Things that Han Shot that Didn’t Shoot at Him First

Previous WOTD - Pigovian Tax

My Million Dollar Word of the Day Idea

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 | Nifty, Word of the Day | Permalink | No Comments |

I’ve been doing Word of the Day for awhile. This week and next I’m going to do something really radical. I’m going to have a Word of the Day every day.

Not just on random days. Not just on president’s birthdays or dates with prime numbers. I won’t schedule my word of the day based on astrology or the I Ching.

I’ll have a Word of the Day every weekday!

I know what you’re thinking - “Les Jones, that’s the craziest idea I’ve ever heard!” Sure, it’s crazy. But maybe it’s crazy enough that it just might work.

All I ask is that you keep it under your hat. If it’s successful I might patent it and sell it to Webster’s.

See also:
- My Million Dollar BBQ Ribs Idea
- My Million Dollar Proctology Journal Idea
- My Million Dollar Museum Idea
- My Million Dollar Longhair/Parrothead Mashup Idea
- My Million Dollar Beer Name Idea
- My Million Dollar Rap Music Idea
- My Million Dollar Salad Dressing Idea
- My Million Dollar Restaurant Idea
- Teddy’s Million Dollar Doughnut Idea, and My Million Dollar Cell Phone Idea

Homemade Cigar Box Ukelele

Thursday, January 18th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Bugly made one and took pictures. Pretty cool.

Celebrity Patents

Monday, January 15th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 3 Comments |

Celebrity patents. Who would have guessed that Zeppo Marx, Prince, Marlon Brando, Michael Jackson, Julie Newmar, and Lawrence Welk held patents? Check out the drawing for Eddie Van Halen’s U.S. Patent #4,656,917 - Musical instrument support:

That link goes to Ironicsans.com. Great site. Visit the favorites and 2006 year in review for tasty choices.

Bonus! - His pacifist chess set is nifty. As you advance your pieces you realize yours are the same color as your opponent’s. The idea takes advantage of the checker-shadow illusion.

Fogo Rocket Rod Jet Cast - the Fishing Rod of the Future! Today!

Saturday, January 13th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Saw this on Amazon and it has me all kinds of curious. “Finally, a fishing system that lets kids truly enjoy the fishing experience. The Rocket Fishing Rod accurately casts up to 30 feet, just pump, launch &reel ‘em in! Patented safety bobber hides the hook until it hits the water. Makes fishing fun and safe, just pull back, point and cast. The safety bobber ensures that there are no accidental hooks.”

9 Volt Batteries Contain Six AAA Batteries

Friday, January 12th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | 2 Comments |

More things I didn’t know: there are six AAA batteries inside a 9 volt battery. Actually, they’re AAAA batteries which are smaller diameter, but they’ll apparently work in many devices that uses AAA batteries. UPDATE: One person at the link below reported that it damaged his electronics, so reserve this for McGyver-style emergencies. And who doesn’t have those?

Hard to believe, but here’s a video demonstration. This is definitely going on this year’s list of 2,007 things I learned in 2007.

Why Do I Have to Get This Important News from a British Paper?

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

From the UK Metro - Mannequin boobs are getting bigger:

Mannequins’ breasts are growing to cater for the number of women who now have plastic surgery (or men’s increased fondness for gigantic boobs).

Shop mannequins with 40″ DD breasts have been selling thick and fast across America in the last year and are could soon be protruding onto on the British High Street.

The Oscar-Meyer Weinermobile Was Just the Beginning

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Turns out it’s just a service vehicle for the Oscar-Meyer Weinerjet.

No doubt the jet is a launch platform for the Oscar-Meyer Weiner Reusable Space Module.

Robots in Disguise

Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Transformers Halloween costume that transforms!

Worst Halloween Costumes

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Milhouse: Check it out Lisa! I’m Radioactive Man!
Lisa: I don’t think the real Radioactive Man wears a plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.
Milhouse: He would on Halloween!
 – The Simpsons, Treehouse Of Horror X

From Retrocrush. Free sample:

You know what was really bad about that costume? Little Billy wanted to be the Indian.

Every Day

Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | 3 Comments |

Time lapse video of a guy who took a picture of himself every day for six years.

Detail for a Buddy Comedy

Thursday, August 24th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

One buddy’s American, the other Australian. The American likes to get his partner’s goat by referring to his country of origin as “Kangaroo Island.”

See also:
- Throwaway Line
- Moment of Authenticity for a Future Novel
- Snippet from an Unwritten Comedy
- Phrase to Remember

Its Definately Rediculous

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Tam is trying to improve the Internet’s spelling skills. Here’s a thought. Have a test. Don’t let anyone on a message board unless they can write this without errors:

If your use of lose and loose is loose you lose,
If they’re there, so is their bare bear,
You’re going to hell, you two, and your yore-telling ewe, U2, too

Words That Are Funny - Bonghit

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Also bongwater, as in “a cup of coffee the color of bongwater” or “Bongwater, Mississippi.”

Nemesisboy - the Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet

Thursday, July 6th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

The Internet was just wasted space before Nemesisboy started blogging.

Fist off it should be noted that I’M TAKING A FUCKING VACATION to get away from the hardships and strans of having this blog as a job. You guys are like a giant pair of NUTCRACKERS and my balls are the nuts.*

And this:

I got a CEASE AND DESIST letter form Channel 5 about my CAFEPRESS merchandise!!

GREAT. They get a fuckin helicopter and now they think their big shits.*

See also:
- Mirrordot - the Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet
- Leia’s Metal Bikini - The Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet

Please Steal This Blog Software Idea

Tuesday, June 20th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | 3 Comments |

Click on the “Continue reading” link to read this Earth-shattering idea!

Continue reading the rest of this post ›››

Holy Fucking Shit! It’s Tourette Syndrome Awareness Week!

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006 | Nifty | Permalink | No Comments |

Don’t you fucking bastards fucking miss it!

From Wikipedia:

The hallmarks of Tourette’s syndrome are repetitive, involuntary movements (motor tics) and utterances (phonic tics) that constantly change in number, frequency, severity, and anatomical location. The Tourette Syndrome Association describes tics as movements or sounds “that occur intermittently and unpredictably out of a background of normal motor activity”.[2] The tics of Tourette’s characteristically come and go. Waxing and waning — a natural increase and decrease in severity and frequency of tics — occurs differently in each individual. Tics are described as occurring in “bouts of bouts”, which vary for each person.[3]

Coprolalia (the spontaneous utterance of socially objectionable or taboo words or phrases) is the most publicized symptom of Tourette’s syndrome, but it is not required for a diagnosis of Tourette’s. Fewer than 15% of TS patients exhibit coprolalia.[4] More common tics are eye blinking, throat clearing, coughing, neck stretching, and shoulder shrugging.

Previous WOTD - Neti Pot