Les Jones

Blogging > Father's Day, Knoxville, Meerkats and Sprite: How Will I Tie Them Together?

Chris Range of Celtic Grove emails:

After having the worst headache in my life all day Saturday - you know the one the medical home reference books tell you may be a tumor and to seek help immediately - after having one of those until 3AM - I fell asleep and woke up at 10AM - rushed off to church, groggy, un-coffied, and generally a lot grumpier than Jesus would have wanted me whilst I was engaged in the meal of transubstantiation. But I digress..

The real joy of the day came when we went to the [Knoxville] zoo. The billboards for the new Meerkat exhibits read something like:

"MEERKAT MADNESS - Come see the new Meerkat exhibit - It's EXTREMELY NOT BORING"

Well you know that can only mean one thing - Meerkats are the most boring animal on the face of the earth.

Yep, just like Joel Sposky says about marketing - you take your product's worst characteristic and swear that the opposite is true.

CITY BUS SERVICE: Cavort with New York's elite as you inhale the heady aroma of success from your busmates, who are homeful and certifiably sane.

DOLLYWOOD: We're a bucolic center for environmental education and the fine arts.

AUTOMOBILES: Paying a note on a $40,000 car will make you happy and serene, and won't be seen as a sign of mid-life crisis or flagrant status-seeking.

SODA: Drinking Sprite will give you the slim build and energy you need to dunk like a professional basketball player. Need a slimmer build? Drink more Sprite!

POLITICS: George Bush is the compassionate candidate who would never compromise Grandma's social security check with insane deficits.

PS When I go on my honeymoon in August, I think I'll invite Chris to guest blog. Celtic Grove is not enough of an outlet for his creativity. Also, everyone needs to encourage Chris to post his artwork online.

PPS Speaking of Sposky, if some Induhvidual ever starts talking about setting down a set of Core Values for your company, show them this Joel on Software article. Then show them the Mission and Values Statement from this fine, upstanding company with high ethical standards.

PPPS. I didn't invent the multi-level postscript gag, Dave Winer did.