Les Jones

Funny Ha-Ha > Elvis is the Watermelon

This is a tale of mis-heard song lyrics.

On the way back from a daytrip to Crossville Melissa and I were listening to Paul Simon's "Graceland" CD. During the song "Graceland" I mention to Melissa that I can't belive Paul Simon says that.

"Says what?" She has no idea what I'm talking about. I rewind the song so she can hear it for herself, but she doesn't notice anything unusual. Nothing. The lyrics I had always heard were:

As if I didn't know that, As if I didn't know my own bed, As if I'd never noticed, The way she brushed her hair and farted

Melissa laughed, and informed me that what Paul Simon was really saying was:

As if I never noticed, The way she brushed her hair from far away

I retorted that I didn't know how you could brush your hair from far way, unless you had a really long hairbrush. A hairbrush, perhaps, that Paul had given her for an anniversary, or maybe to mark St. Valentine's Day.

Melissa had an idea that hadn't occurred to me in 15 years of listening to the disc, which was to look in the case to see if the lyrics were printed inside. Sure enough, they were. The real lyrics?

As if I never noticed, The way she brushed her hair from her forehead

To be fair, Simon says "farhead" instead of "forehead," which helps explain how we both mis-heard it. While we had the lyrics out, I checked another line in "All Around the World/The Myth of Fingerprints" that never made any sense:

Well, the sun gets bloody and the sun goes down Elvis is the watermelon

The real lyrics aren't much more coherent:

Well, the sun gets bloody and the sun goes down Ever since the watermelon