Les Jones

A&E > You Damned Dirty Ashtray!

The other day I watched Longmire's Planet of the Apes Flash animation, which was great. It reminded me that I hadn't seen the movie in years, so I watched it tonight.

You've probably seen old TV footage where people are smoking on talk shows. Weird, isn't it? Well, that's nothing. In Planet of the Apes, Charleton Heston smokes a cigar on a spaceship!

"Sorry, Dodge, I should have asked before I lit up. Here, I'll open a window."

"The crew will need food and medical supplies for 24 months. Also, don't forget the Pall Malls. That's one pack per crew member times four crew members per waking day. Thankfully they sleep for months at a time."

"To complete our journey with sufficient oxygen, we'll have to recycle our atmosphere. So that means no menthols. I'm looking at you, Landon."

I'm curious. Did the ship's designers include a built-in ashtray, did Heston use one of the little plaid jobs with gravel in the bottom, or did he just ash on the floor?

Also, why am I writing James Lileks's columns for him?