Les Jones: Michael Jackson Jokes

November 26, 2003

Funny Ha-Ha > Michael Jackson Jokes

Q: When is bedtime at Neverland?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boys?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to JC Penney's?
A: He heard they had boys pants half off.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and
the other is for carrying groceries.

Posted by lesjones

Comments

Ha ha ha.

I could see some of those punch lines coming, but I laughed at every one. :)

Posted by: The Commissar at November 27, 2003

Hey, wait, you're not typing in Russian. How do I know you're really the Commissar?

Posted by: Les Jones at December 01, 2003

Hey - Michael Jackson is proof of the American dream. Where else but America could a poor black boy from Gary, Indiana, grow up to be a rich white woman?

Posted by: Chris Range at December 07, 2003

thoughs are some good jokes

Posted by: adam wilhelm at January 16, 2004

here are 2 more

Q:why did Michael Jackson get sacked from being the england coach?
A:he kept on puttin Seamen in the under 15's

Micheal Jackson took his kid to school one day. When they arrived he said to the kid "see you later aligator" and the kid replied" in a while pedeophile!!!"

Posted by: peter at March 07, 2004

im gay

Posted by: Scott at June 13, 2004

im gay

Posted by: Scott at June 13, 2004

hey m8!.. great jokes! =P.. i really enjoyed that 1 about the shopping bag, & the others aswell. i'd also like to share a few jokes with you too, enjoy!

Q:What's so different about michael jacksons toaster?
A:The Bread goes in brown, but comes out white!

Q:How can you tell if Michael Jackson is having a party?
A: There are Tricycles & Bicycles outside his house!

Q: Why are Michael jackson's Pants so small?
A: Because they arnt His!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get married?
A: He wanted children of his own!

There was a captian, a group of children & Michael Jackon on a boat. The boat was sinking & the Captian of the ship said "Abandon ship everyone! ...Michael Jackson then said "What about the children!?" the captian then said "screw the children!"
Michael Jackson then replied "Do we have enough time".

Posted by: Kenny_The_Bloke at December 02, 2004

Where does micheal jackson pick his nose?

A catalouge

Posted by: jake at January 27, 2005

America is the ONLY country were a short, black, poor little boy grew up to be a tall, rich, white women.

Posted by: Jenny Pooh at February 17, 2005

im sorry but half of those jokes are so old

Posted by: B!TCH at March 04, 2005

you all disgust me, telling all those lies about michael jackson, now that is just embarrasing

Posted by: daisy at March 12, 2005

little boy in neverland: Michael whats a paedophile?
Michael Jackson: shut up and keep sucking!

Posted by: englishlad at March 14, 2005

whats the difference between michael jackson and a greyhound?
A grey hound waits for the hare!

Posted by: englishlad at March 14, 2005

whats white and slides down a monkeys back?

Michael Jacksons latest release!!

Posted by: englishlad at March 14, 2005

Q:Why does Michael Jackson invite children to Neverland
A:To meet PETER Pan

Posted by: dindy at March 15, 2005

Q:What does Michael Jackson and a PS2 have in common?
A:They are both made of plastic and little kids turn them on!

Posted by: Whitney at March 15, 2005

Why does Michael Jackson love playing Black Jack?

Cause' on 10 and 11's you can double up!

Posted by: Josh at March 17, 2005

hey that jcpenny joke was ok but ive heard it too many times.

Posted by: jessica at March 17, 2005

i THINK THAT YOU ALL SHOULD STOP TELLING LIES ABOUT MICHEAL YOUR NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY UNTIL HE KILLS HIMSELF YOU GUYS ARE SO HARSH BUT YOUR JOKES WERE FUNNY. BE COOL MICHEAL I'M HERE FOR YOU

Posted by: Shawn-T at March 22, 2005

stay cool micheal we are pulling for you and so is god we love you youre fan margi

Posted by: margi kossow at March 23, 2005

What do McDonald's and Micheal Jackson have in common?

46 year old meat between 5 year old buns

Posted by: somebody at March 26, 2005

ITS TRUE ALL THE ALERGATIONS ABOUT ME, I AM A PEADO! I DONE ONE YESTERDAY

Posted by: IM MICHEAL JACKSO at April 03, 2005

knock knock
knows there
little boy blue
little boy blue who
micheal jackson

Posted by: danielle at April 09, 2005

*micheal jackson was
in court yesterday
and said i swear
on the popes life
i never did it

*why did micheal
phone boys to men?
because he thought
there where a devilary
servise

Posted by: danielle at April 10, 2005

*micheal jackson was
in court yesterday
and said i swear
on the popes life
i never did it

*why did micheal
phone boys to men?
because he thought
there where a devilary
servise

Posted by: danielle at April 10, 2005

*micheal jackson was
in court yesterday
and said i swear
on the popes life
i never did it

*why did micheal
phone boys to men?
because he thought
there where a devilary
servise

Posted by: danielle at April 10, 2005

INNOCENT TILL PROVEN GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: adz at April 11, 2005

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Get out of my sun!

What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
Throw him a buoy!

Posted by: Katie at April 13, 2005

Why does Michael Jackson like to lose a motor race ?

He always likes to come in a little behind.

Posted by: Bonders99 at April 14, 2005

thoes jokes were the best but have a heart micheal jackson doesnt know wut he is doing he has problems heres a joke.why did micheal jackson cross the street ? to catch the little boy

Posted by: ashley at April 17, 2005

Q:What does Micheal Jackson and Caviar have in common?

A: They both come on little white crackers

Posted by: Postawa at April 17, 2005

funny funny funny. best jokes ive heard for a long time

Posted by: james at April 18, 2005

I'm not into the jokes. But I went through them and some were quite funny. But some of you need to learn how to spell Michael's name. It is not micheal. If you want to run him down then at least spell his name right.

Posted by: Maggie at April 28, 2005

Innocent until proven guilty? Yeah right...look at OJ!

Posted by: Mark at April 30, 2005

i love micheal jackson jokes they are so FUNNY but some are just so boring and loads of dem r rude 2 even though i love all these jokes i still think that m.j is innocent he he x x who agrees?! i also love nigga jokes too!!

Posted by: lauren E at May 07, 2005

I thought they were funny, but you 4got some:

Q: What did the priest say to Michael Jackson?
A: I saw him first.

Q: Whats brown, and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: Whats the worst stain to remove frome little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup.

Posted by: bob at May 08, 2005

Michael Jackson sat down with his lawyer.

The lawyer says, "I have good news and bad news."

Michael asks for the bad news.

The lawyer says "they have a real strong case for molestation and you are going to do serious time."

Michael asks for the good news.

The lawyer says "I think you can serve it in a juvenile detention facility."

Posted by: mmmmbeeer at May 16, 2005

Q,WHAT DID MICHAEL JACKSON DO WEN HE WAS A BLACK MAN

A,STOP LOOKING AT THE CHILDRENN

Posted by: michael jackon at May 17, 2005

hey you guys those are some seriously funny jokes ive nevver heard anything like those before!!!! keep thinking of some they make me crack up!!!!!

Posted by: Catie at May 18, 2005

they are shit

Posted by: deborah and kay at May 20, 2005

hi debz how are ya?