Les Jones

Funny Ha-Ha > Wardrobe Malfunctions in Star Wars

Lucas has finally succumbed and will release the first three Star Wars films on DVD. That's the good news. The bad news is that he insists on releasing the modified "special editions" rather than the originals. In a thread on Plastic, Herbie the Elf writes:

Don't give Tinkerbell a belly button ring. Don't let Lassie talk. Don't give Scarlett O'Hara that spooky Crayola flesh tone, and fer Chrissakes don't add some cartoonishly fake CGI Jabba the Hut into a movie that's 20 years old.

Yep. Now that we've got that settled, let's take Star Wars dialog and substitute the word "pants." WastingMy, you go first:

"What if everyone who smuggled for me dropped their pants at the first sign of an Imperial ship"

"Luke, use the pants"

"I find your lack of pants disturbing"

"Curse my metal pants!"

"Uh, we had a slight pants malfunction, but, uh, everything's perfectly alright now, we're fine, we're all fine here now, thank you."

Your turn, Genady:

"These aren't the pants you're looking for."

"We're getting out of here in those pants? You're braver than I thought."

"I sense something. Pants I've not felt since..."

"Traveling through pants ain't like dusting crops, boy."

"Uh, uh, negative. We had a pants leak here now. Give us a minute to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous. "

My turn:

"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more my pants slip through your fingers."

"Escape is not his plan. I must pants him. Alone."

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for good pants, kid."