Les Jones: Worst Superhero Costumes

March 14, 2005

Comic Books > Worst Superhero Costumes

I'm sure someone thought mixing Gene Simmons from KISS with a roller disco queen was a great idea. The only thing stupider than Dazzler's comics was her incredibly useful super power of, get this, making colored lights appear. Shit, I can do that by just rubbing my eyes really hard. This first issue from 1977 has become quite valued over the years, and can fetch as much as 75 cents among eager collectors.

And 3DMan:

This poor jerk has a costume that's half red, and half green. He's 3 times as strong, 3 times as fast, and 3 times as ugly as any other regular guy. 3D Man's sales plummeted quickly after his debut in Marvel Premiere despite attempts to lure more readers with his sidekick, Scratch And Sniff Lad.

Posted by lesjones

Comments

Can she rex, can she spin? I bet she can. But when the guy working the wheel calls for "Couples Only" on the floor - I'll still be in the corner playing Pac Man and she'll be skating with that other dumb-a55 guy that can make lights.

Ahh, no biggie. At least my gal can apply her mascara without looking like she did it on a coke binge.

Posted by: Chris Range at March 14, 2005

Aw, she's not high. That's just disco fever!

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music�s high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You�re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Posted by: Les Jones at March 14, 2005