Les Jones

Comic Books > New Blog: Dave's Long Box

Dave's Long Box. Motto: "I'm going to review my comic book collection and you're going to like it." Via Jim Treacher.

On Savage Dragon's enemy, Dung:

You know, this brings up a recurring motif in comics: the super powers a person gets pretty much dictate whether they're going to be a hero or a villain. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of generic super powers that could go either way, like super-strength or flight. But no hero is going to have sh!+-cannons. You're destined to be a bad guy if your powers involve poo, or raising the dead, or kissing people and turning them into monsters, or melting people's face with your hands... Those are bad powers, and even if you're a nice guy, if you wake up with the ability to boil people's blood, you should just resign yourself to a life of crime or lab work.

On Spider-Man's enemy, The Vulture:

The Vulture is one of those villains that is so hopelessly outclassed by the hero that you wonder why they bother. The Vulture's powers are flight and baldness - that's it. I'll bet Spider-Man is psyched every time he gets to fight The Vulture; he can just kick the guy's ass and call it an early night, maybe go watch some TV or something.

Stoner thoughts:

In the Star Wars films, Jedi Knights have telekinetic powers, right? They move sh!+ with their minds. If my friend Geoff were a Jedi, during a lightsaber duel with a Sith Lord or something he would use his mental powers to turn off his opponent’s lightsaber. The bad guy would move to parry one of Geoff’s blows, and all of a sudden his lightsaber blade would just turn off, allowing Geoff to chop the bad guy’s head off.

Why didn't I think of that?