Les Jones

OH. DEAR. LORD...

Wodehouse is one of my favowite movies. I weally wike Patwick Swazy.

Chris: there is a freakin' hilarious Mark Steyn review of "King Arthur" along those lines. I could only find bits and pieces of it with Google:

North of the wall is Scotland or, as it's known here, Woad country, where the Woads live. The Woads are so called because they're blue. You'd be blue, too, if your beloved native land was occupied by the Romans, and so a cunning Woad called Merlin is leading a guerrilla insurgency against Rome. If there was a song at this point, it would be 'How To Handle A Roman'. But there isn't, so instead the Woads slip across the wall, determined to push the Romans back down the M1: all Woads lead to Wome, as Elmer Fudd would say.

For the Sarmatian knights — Lancelot, Galahad, Gawain, Tristan, Dagonet and Bors — it's time to hit the road after years of hitting the Woad. They're on the last day of their 15-year contract and enjoying a final night of wenching and carousing before heading back to Sarmatia. But the duplicitous Bishop Germanius demands of them one last mission, to rescue some beleaguered Roman bigshots far north of the wall. Reluctantly, the lads agree and turn in for the night, after one for my baby and one more for the Woad. [...]

A huge Saxon army has just hit the beach and they're also interested in the bigshot Romans, as potentially lucrative hostages. If you think there's too much Saxon violence in the movies these days, wait'll you see these guys. Their general, Sir Dick or, as I discovered in the closing credits, Cerdic, is a mountain of blond hair extensions. Perhaps some insensitive locals tittered at him as he waded ashore, but, for whatever reason, the Saxons slaughter everyone they come across in a frenzy of Woad rage. As Cerdic, Stellan Skarsgard hams up his dialogue with a throaty rumble that sounds like he came first in this year's Stockholm round of the Nick Nolte karaoke competition. When he hears about the Roman estate nearby, he dispatches a rape'n'pillage squad led by his son Cynric, because it takes his child to raze a village.