Les Jones: What's Scary is, I Once Thought of Posting This as a Joke Myself

December 16, 2005

Guns > What's Scary is, I Once Thought of Posting This as a Joke Myself

Which gun would be better for CCW? A berreta tomcat in .25 ACP or a desert eagle in .50 AE? Hey, we've had every other caliber argument, why not this one?

If you don't get the joke, this is a Beretta Tomcat. It weighs less than a pound. It's the kind of gun Mata Hari would slip in her garter belt.

This is a Desert Eagle. It weighs four and a half pounds. If they still made Dirty Harry movies, this is what he'd shoot. It's what Agent Smith used in The Matrix.

It's also what Bullet Tooth Tony used in Snatch (dirty word alert!):

"Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off."

Bonus! - Wikipedia has a really great article about the Deagle.

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Comments

One of the best movie lines of all time, in my estimation.

Posted by: Josh at December 15, 2005

I was actually just thinking about that line earlier this week while walking to a meeting. Wanted to figure out a whitty way to include it in a post, guess I should have just quoted the whole thing.

Its a blatant rip off of the crocodile dundee That's Not A Knife, This Is A Knife" scene, but done in a much more complete fashion.

Posted by: countertop at December 16, 2005

"Its a blatant rip off of the crocodile dundee 'That's Not A Knife, This Is A Knife' scene, but done in a much more complete fashion."

Haha! I never would have made that connection, but that's true.

Posted by: Brian at December 16, 2005

I actually did use it in one of my posts back on Nov. 16. Weird how great minds think alike...

Posted by: Josh at December 16, 2005

Damn Josh,

Thanks for triggering the memory. I think it was your post that had put the thought in my mind.

Posted by: countertop at December 16, 2005

Can't say how I would conceal it, but if the SHTF, I would rather have a deagle in .44mag or .50AE than a little mouse gun in .25 ACP.

But then I would rather have a 2 shot Deringer in just about any caliber bigger than .25 ACP. (Would .45 LC be too much in little shorty?)

Posted by: Zendo Deb at December 17, 2005

A driver whose truck I used to unload had an experience like that movie scene. Some kid, attempting to rob him, pointed a cap gun straight at him so he could see the rivet holding the barrel together. Lacking a high-paid script writer, all he said was "Mine's real."

Given that in 30 years of carrying a knive I've never had to cut anything more threatening than some twine, hidden in a snowdrift I tried to push thru, which tripped and tangled me, my plan when the slowly approaching CCW reaches Wisconsin is to go with something in the minimum sufficient category. A .32 on me beats a .50 in the lockbox at home.

Posted by: triticale at December 18, 2005

"A .32 on me beats a .50 in the lockbox at home." That's true, but I wouldn't want a .25. Not when you can get small .380s And Khar has some sweet 9mms and even a .45 that is pretty slim and small.

But then something is always better than nothing.

Posted by: Zendo Deb at December 18, 2005