Les Jones: About "Chocolate Vine"

March 22, 2006

Science > About "Chocolate Vine"

Katherine Coble and her husband got a botanical surprise:

The plastic Plant Identification Tongue said we were looking at "Chocolate Vine akebia quinata". It met our light requirements for the growing area. It had purple flowers that smelled like chocoloate. They drew bats, which I love. Bats eat mosquitos. Okay, right there I was sold. But the little vine was teeny tiny. So we bought three. When we got them home and planted them they looked even teeny tinier. So Tim went to the store and bought two more. We crossed our fingers in hopes that they would grow.
Then Quinn dug one up. Repeatedly. We kept finding poor little Mr. Akebia in various places throughout the yard, with his roots attached. Tim faithfully replanted the thing, but we didn't think we'd have any luck. They hung in there. The one day at work when I was bored I looked it up on the internet. It seems that while Lowe's called the plants by their more inviting English name--you have to admit that Chocolate Vine sounds rather enticing--the purple flower has another name.

Read Katherine's story and then you'll know.. the remainder... of... the narrative.* Actually, her plant identification is a bit off, but chocolate vine is bad news.

Person I'm thinking of in this post: botanist Steve K.

* No, seriously, who's this Paul Harvey - is he a famous botanist?

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Comments

My understanding is that the plant is a very efficient producer of protien, and excellent cattle feed. Perfect for the box canyons Louis L'Amour's characters would hide their herds in.

Posted by: triticale at March 22, 2006

A post just for me!! *sniff*

She thinks Akebia is tough? Try this sucker:

http://tinypic.com/view/?pic=s4268n

That's an air potato (a terrible weed around these parts) which sat on my wife's desk and grew for a year -- no water, no soil, no nothin'. It's probably still going strong.

Posted by: Steve K. at March 24, 2006

Speaking of kudzu -- when I worked for TDEC, one of the guys on our staff (who had a MS in ecology and a PhD in environmental engineering) had previously been in charge of the revegetation manual for TDOT. Up till the late 80s, and this ain't cock and bull story someone fed me -- I saw this with my own two eyes -- the dipshit actually listed kudzu as an option for bank stabilization.

Posted by: Steve K. at March 24, 2006