Les Jones: How Melissa and I Met

March 24, 2006

Home Life > How Melissa and I Met

Over at Thursday Night Fever, JunkBond is considering his friend's problem of meeting women when you're out of school and out of a social scene. Been there, done that. Go read it and sympathize with singles trying to meet people.

I do disagree with part of what he says, though. I'm going to have to stand up for the traditional, good old-fashioned, time-honored practice of meeting people through personal ads on the Internet.

That's how my wife and I met. Some of my friends had met their girlfriends or wives that way, so I gave it a try. When I started in 2000, not everyone was on board. Here's some of the advice I got.

Why not just meet women in bars? - Yeah because you know, no problems there. Nothing wrong with bars, but I had gotten out of my partying years and didn't want to go back.

What you should do is volunteer for a charity and meet a girl that way - Has anyone actually ever done this or known anyone who has? The underlying logic seems to be that you're probably not a nice guy, but you can fool gullible young women into believing you are by volunteering for charity. Nice.

Just hang around the produce section of the supermarket and talk to women - I kid you not - someone suggested this to me. If hanging around the produce department all day thumping watermelons, checking to see if there's a wedding ring on blondie's finger, and then asking if she knows how to tell if a kumquat is ripe is your idea of fun, try it and let me know how it goes.

The huge advantage of personal ads is that it makes it easy to find people who are single and looking. And then you find the right person and you get the love, the marriage, and the babies. The Internet - is there anything it can't do?

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Comments

The charity scene. Funny thing, that. I have met girls in community-service type environments, one of which was actually pretty decent except for a couple things. Also, volunteering for political action groups and such is a good way to meet women while at the same time covertly pre-screening them to make sure they don't where Birkenstocks and throw flower petals on their days off, like the girl I met working for charity.

Posted by: Josh at March 24, 2006

Sounds like hanging out at the produce at the superwalmart according to a country music song I 've heard...I personally think the best way to meet a nice gal is to be in school with her, preferably elementary or high school and go from there.Just my humble opinion. A bigger question is whether there are multiple partners for people or just "the one"....one "best partner" and others just acceptable or not acceptable or compatible. Of course the fate of the human race doesn't depend on our choices..at least not yet...

Posted by: ANGRYWOLF at March 24, 2006

Why a successful young man would actually want to meet the average ameriskank is beyond me.

Stay single. Stay free.

Posted by: anonymous at March 24, 2006

My Mrs. and I did meet doing charity work - although neither of us were in the market at the time...

Yours,
Wince

Posted by: Wince and Nod at March 25, 2006

Well, Anon, one WILL meet a lot of "average Ameriskanks;" they're all around us. The trick is to ignore them and pick the winner out of the crowd.

Posted by: Homer at March 25, 2006

I spend most of my free time with my charity self defense class that I set up for victims of violent crime. I have met hundreds of women, and I've hit it off surprisingly well with a fair number of them. Some of them even suggested we meet socially after the course was over. It soon became painfully apparent that it was best if I didn't.

The reason why these people sought me out in the first place was because they had been through the worst experience of their lives. Since that was what had caused us to meet in the first place, memories of the attack they survived continually intruded when they were with me.

I've been a self defense instructor for about 15 years now, and I don't have time to meet women any other way. Maybe I'll get disgusted with it some day, but just not yet.

James

Posted by: James R. Rummel at March 26, 2006

I'm with Wince and Nod - I remember fondly an ex I met when we exchanged numbers at the end of a service club event - I was the youngest of the local Lions, she was in Key Club.

Hell, my heart speeds up just thinking about it. She was a hell of a lady, but I was just as set on leaving California, as she was on staying.

I think your hint about wolves in sheeps' clothing is right, though.

Posted by: Anonymous Coward at March 27, 2006

It sounds like a lot of people have met nice people doing charity work. Glad to hear it.

Posted by: Les Jones at March 27, 2006

I met my wife on the internet. I did not meet her on a singles web site or anything related. I started a website for home schoolers in 1998. I met her when I was fourteen. We wrote letters for two years, talking about everything. We first met in person when I was sixteen. When I was 18, I drove to Texas to visit her family (road trip!!). In 2004, we got married. We're incredibly happy after a year and a half.

Posted by: Brian at March 27, 2006

21 years ago I was a new grad, wet behind the ears. Got involved with this Ameriskank at work. Ended up being pretty much a fling that ended quite badly - I had a broken heart for months.

Today, I looked her up on the web just for grins. Not only did I hit, but I hit a photo. We're talkin' serious obesity. We're talkin' she looks 15 to 20 years older than I do.

Take this to heart all you young buckeroos. Be patient and hang tough.

Oh, and by the way, I did eventually marry. An outrageously cute, slim, wealthy, well bred, great lady who is aging like a fine bottle of Cabernet.

Save yourselves for making things happen on your terms, and if it never happens, no worries, you're better for it!

Posted by: Steve Sadlov at April 27, 2006