Les Jones

News > "I Ate Her [blank] with Some Falafel and a Nice Chianti" Part 2

Turns out that Bill O'Reilly novel I mentioned before with the bad erotica is a source of never-ending embarassment. Besides the naughty bits, the novel is chiefly concerned with a serial killer (bearing a remarkable similarity to O'Reilly in principal facts of his life) who took revenge on his enemies in violent ways. Via The Corner.

In 1998, after the launch of “The O’Reilly Factor,” but before superstardom, he published a thriller called “Those Who Trespass,” which is his most ambitious and deeply felt piece of writing. “Those Who Trespass” is a revenge fantasy, and it displays extraordinarily violent impulses. A tall, b.s.-intolerant television journalist named Shannon Michaels, the “product of two Celtic parents,” is pushed out by Global News Network after an incident during the Falkland Islands War, and then by a local station, and he systematically murders the people who ruined his career. He starts with Ron Costello, the veteran correspondent who stole his Falkland story:

The assailant’s right hand, now holding the oval base of the spoon, rocketed upward, jamming the stainless stem through the roof of Ron Costello’s mouth. The soft tissue gave way quickly and the steel penetrated the correspondent’s brain stem. Ron Costello was clinically dead in four seconds.

Michaels stalks the woman who forced his resignation from the network and throws her off a balcony. He next murders a television research consultant who had advised the local station to dismiss him: he buries the guy in beach sand up to his neck and lets him slowly drown. Finally, during a break in the Radio and Television News Directors Association convention, he slits the throat of the station manager. O’Reilly describes each of these killings—the careful planning, the suffering of the victim, the act itself—in loving detail.

See also:
- "I Ate Her [blank] with Some Falafel and a Nice Chianti"
- NPR and O'Reilly

No Spin Bonus! - The Bill O'Reilly Distance Dating Kit (probably NSFW, unless you work for Fox News)