Les Jones

Misc > Get to the Damned Point!

The Dry Spot (you're reading him, right?) has a post about his syphilis test (which is more innocent than it sounds) and the way they kept him on a string getting the results back. Read it for the whole story.

I was talking to my mom one day. She turned on her Serious Voice and said she had something to tell me. I sat down.

She starts telling me the story the way she tells all of her stories - starting at the beginning, going over each detail in order, without skipping anything. She told me that she had reason to believe she had cancer. "I called the doctor to make an appointment. They couldn't see me that week, so they asked if I could come in next week on Wednesday, but I had plans, so they asked if I could come in Thursday, and I said 'OK, Thursday."

Then she went through all of the exruciating details of going to the doctor's office, sitting in the waiting room, talking to the doctor, taking a test, scheduling a follow up visit, going back to hear the results of the test ...

At some point I just ahouted "MOM! I don't want the long version! This is torture! Do you have cancer or not?!"

She looked sort of irritated at being interrupted. Then she regained her composure and said, "No. I don't have cancer." Sheesh!