A&E > The Editing Room
If you like movies (check) and grew up reading Mad magazine (check) go visit The Editing Room for their movie script parodies. Here's Iron Man:
GWYNETH PALTROW: Robert, your stock is plummeting and your board of directors wants you out.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR: Superheroes, press conferences, and now all of the excitement of corporate takeovers and stock market fluctuations? This movie has everything!
GWYNETH PALTROW: Everything except a villain.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR: Oh, who would you prefer I face off against? The Chinese guy with the ten magical rings?
GWYNETH PALTROW: Well no, but so far your biggest villain has been the host of Mad Money. Does Iron Man really suck this much?
ROBERT DOWNEY JR: What about myself? As a Marvel character, I have flaws, so perhaps my real villain is my crippling alcoholism.
GWYNETH PALTROW: You mean the crippling alcoholism that in no way stopped you from becoming a genius billionaire inventor and so far has manifested itself in a single scene where you hold a drink without actually drinking it?
ROBERT DOWNEY JR: That’s the one. Now get out of my way, I have to go to Afghanistan and fly around a bit to make it seem like this movie has an action sequence.
:::later:::
GWYNETH PALTROW: You did it, Robert! The world has been saved from the dangerous weapon that you built in the first place!
TERRENCE HOWARD: And I’m still in the movie, everyone!
ROBERT DOWNEY JR: Let’s celebrate with a drink! Just kidding of course, alcoholism is a totally manageable disease.
And don't miss Juno:
ELLEN finds a couple to adopt her kid: JASON BATEMAN and JENNIFER GARNER. ELLEN goes to meet them.
JENNIFER GARNER: We’re so happy you’d consider us despite the fact that I starred in Elektra.
JASON BATEMAN: So who is the father of the little bastard?
ELLEN PAGE: Oh, just this awkward, typecast kid at school named Michael Cera.
JASON BATEMAN: No shit? He played my son on Arrested Development. I look forward to the scene in this movie that reunites us for the first time since the show was canceled, which is sure to be a real pleasure for fans.
That scene NEVER HAPPENS. ELLEN agrees to give her kid to JENNIFER and JASON.
TIME PASSES and MORE INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYS. ELLEN goes through the various scenes that movies about pregnant people are obligated to include.
She visits JASON BATEMAN.
JASON BATEMAN: Hey Ellen. Want to watch some indie horror films and listen to some indie music together?
ELLEN PAGE: That sounds great! I sure hope that watching the movie isn’t interrupted by me having to go puke my guts out, sweaty and hunched over the toilet. (pause) Just kidding, none of that crap happens in the movie. Pregnancy is easy-peasy.
JASON BATEMAN: Well, I have good news. I’m leaving Jennifer Garner.
ELLEN PAGE: Why, because your marriage to her has robbed you of your youth, which you have been reminded of since you started hanging around with me?
JASON BATEMAN: No, I just rented 13 Going On 30. I can’t even look at her now. Has she been in anything good?
Posted by lesjones
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