Les Jones

Review of Smokin' Joes BBQ

Jay and I decided to try Smokin' Joes BBQ in Maryville. Once we were seated, Jay asked for an ashtray, only to find out that this is one barbecue joint that doesn't tolerate the evil weed of tobacco.

The waiter asked for our drinks, and I ordered a beer, only to find out that this is one barbecue joint that doesn't tolerate demon rum. Demon beer. Whatever.

We split. Thus endeth my first review of Smokin' Joes BBQ.

Lisa told us that Joe's has a permit now, so we tried it again tonight. Sure enough, Joe's now has demon beer. Also Anheuser-Busch and Miller products.

They still don't allow the evil weed, which just goes to show that some vices are more vicious than others. My alcohol consumption is sociable and light-hearted, like female nudity. Jay's tobacco consumption is offensive and disgusting, like male nudity.

Speaking of offensive, Smokin' Joes BBQ serves dinner rolls instead of hushpuppies, and they don't put enough sauce on the pulled pork. The cole slaw, however, was charming and delightful, like female nudity.

Mt. Cammerer Firetower Hike (Great Smokies)

I plugged in the scanner this weekend and started going through old photos. This is from a trip in 1999 or so, judging from the other pictures on the roll of film. Now I remember. I was working at U.S. Internet at the time, because I remember telling Cecil about my plans for the trip, and he couldn't believe I would go hiking in that heat. I needed some backpacking therapy, even though it was mid-summer and eleven kinds of hot. I got up around 5:00 AM, made straight for the trailhead, and got to camp by 10:30 before the temperatures got unbearable. I rigged up a water bag and showered off, then lazed away the rest of the day.

The shortest route to Mt. Cammerer is a 10.4 mile roundtrip hike beginning near Cosby Campground, hiking up Low Gap trail, then following the Appalachian Trail to the trail spur that leads to Cammerer. That route also has the least elevation gain, about 2000 feet. I visited Mt. Cammerer as part of a two-day backpacking trip, spending the night at Cosby Knob Shelter on the Applachian Trail.

The fire lookout is of the Western style, being built on rock. Fire lookouts in the Eastern United States are generally built on metal or concrete towers to lift them above the lush tree cover. Because it's on a rocky summit surrounded by scrubby heath, the park service was able to build the Mt. Cammerer lookout directly on rock. The park quit using the Mt. Cammerer station in the 1960s.

This is a view from inside the tower, looking out. The interior was surprisingly dark. At the time I was there, the windows were intact. From some of the descriptions I've read of the tower's delapidated state, I can only assume that someone had done some maintenance work.

Looking out over Eastern Tennessee from the observation deck. This was an intermittently cloudy day, and the dark areas of the ground are cloud shadows. The Hiking Trails of the Smokies describes all of the landmarks visible from the lookout, including Bays Mountain, Stone Mountain, Snowbird Mountain, Mount Sterling, Max Patch, Naked Place, Balsam Mountain and Mount Guyot.

Range Report Index (Gun Reviews)

These are all of the gun reviews I've published. This index will be updated when new reviews are added to the site.

Armalite AR-7 (.22)
Bersa Thunder (.380)
Browning Buckmark (.22)
Glock 23 (.40)
Glock 26 (9 mm)
Glock 30 (.45)
Hi-Point (9 mm)
Kel-Tec P3AT (.380)
Kel-Tec P11 (9 mm)
North American Arms Black Widow (.22)
Para-Ordnance LDA (.45)
Para-Ordnance LDA Carry (.45)
Ruger 22/45 (.22)
Ruger Mark II (.22)
Ruger P95C (9 mm)
Short Magazine Lee-Enfield (SMLE) rifle (.303 British)
SIG P220 (.45)
SIG P229 (.40)
SIG P232 (.380)
Smith &Wesson 22A (.22)
Smith &Wesson 317 (.22)
Smith &Wesson 686 (.357)
Walther P22, silenced (.22)

Phun With Photoshop and Phone Cameras

Melissa and I took the dogs to the Maryville Greenbelt Sunday. They had a great time. Shorty likes the ducks, and Sparky likes the squirrels.

While we were there I snapped a few pictures with the cell phone camera. (I just shipped my regular digicam to the factory for repair.) This shot turned out the best of a bad lot. It has really soft focus, which is a shame because it's a nice composition: a creek running diagonally across the foreground, trees in winter, and the county court house set against a blue sky with clouds. (Click on the thumbnail to bask in its 640 x 480 glory.)

Rather than tossing it, I deciced to use Photoshop filters to create something that would be a keeper.

Microsoft vs. the Funeral Home

Today is St. Patrick's Day, though you wouldn't know it if you're an Outlook user. I've used computers for about 15 years, and one thing has remained constant. Computer calendars stink.

I was reminded of this recently when I was wondering when Easter was going to fall this year.* Microsoft Outlook doesn't say, and neither do most computer calendars. I usually wind up Googling to find the date of major holidays.

I finally looked up Easter on a free calendar from the local funeral home. This one had all of the major and minor holidays, the phases of the moon, advice on the best dates to plant and harvest crops and the best days to fish in the morning or evening.

This is an open challenge to Microsoft (stock symbol MSFT). Come up with a calendar better than the freebie from the local funeral home (stock symbol DETH). I want Outlook XP to have a Corn Planting Wizard and IntelliFish technology. Failing that, I'd settle for holidays, phases of the moon, and the time changes. Windows automatically adjusts my computer's clock for the time change so I know you've got it figured out. If not, here's the secret formula: the time change is the first Sunday in April and the last Sunday in October.

* The rule of thumb for Easter is that it's the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. The equinox is usually March 21. It's March 20 this year because of leap year. The full moon might come a day after that or it might come almost four weeks later, which is why the date for Easter is so variable (from March 22 to April 25).

The rule of thumb doesn't always work. For a more complete formula for calculating Easter along with its history in the church, see this FAQ at the U.S. Naval Observatory, which is a fascinating site.

Computer calendars could easily calculate the ten U.S. federal holidays:

Under current definitions, four are set by date:

New Year's Day (January 1)
Independence Day (July 4)
Veterans Day (November 11)
Christmas Day (December 25)

If any of the above fall on a Saturday, then Friday may be observed as a holiday by various institutions. Similarly, if one falls on a Sunday, then Monday may be observed as a holiday.

The other six are set by a day of the week and month:

Martin Luther King's Birthday (Third Monday in January)
Washington's Birthday (Third Monday in February)
Memorial Day (Last Monday in May)
Labor Day (First Monday in September)
Columbus Day (Second Monday in October)
Thanksgiving (Fourth Thursday in November)

Data from this USNO page.

Maurice's South Carolina Mustard BBQ

On the way to Florida we stopped in Columbia, South Carolina for lunch at Maurice's. Jim Thames had brought back some Maurice's sauce and fixed a pulled pork roast at work, and I wanted to try more.

When most people think of BBQ, they think of Memphis-style BBQ, with its sweet-to-tangy, tomato-based sauce. The Carolinas have other varieties.

There's vinegar-based BBQ, with just a hint of tomato. You'll also find mustard-based BBQ, which is what Maurice's serves. I ordered the Big Pig so I could get the complete experience to report to you, my reader. Taking one for the team, I had ribs, pulled pork, cole slaw, cornbread, fries, and a fresh pork rind with lean meat.

Verdict: it may not displace Memphis BBQ, but it's great stuff, and you should try it if you get the chance. If you're not planning a trip to South Carolina, you can try one of the online recipes, or get Maurice's to ship you some. He has an online store, and the shipping's free.

You won't find Maurice's BBQ sauce at your local grocer because, well, here's the thing. Big stores like Wal-Mart and Bi-Lo used to sell it, but they stopped because people complained about Maurice's politics. Maurice Bessinger is - how to put this? - a political nutcase and unreconstructed Confederate cracker. That's him in the picture standing in front of one his stores, which display the South Carolina flag flying over the Confederate battle flag. One of his pet peeves is that state flags should fly above the national flag.

You can get a better idea of his beliefs by visiting his (ahem) Truth Store. Or just visit his restaurants, which sell Confederate flag t-shirts emblazoned with the slogan "May We Never Forget Their Sacrifice" and books like "Myths &Realities of American Slavery." Or you can judge him by the company he keeps. At the store we visited, there was a signed thank-you note saying how good the barbeque was. The author? Pat Buchanan.

Millennium Manor Open House on Memorial Day

Millennium Manor - the odd stone castle in Alcoa - has its annual open house on Memorial Day.

The stone and cement house was constructed using Roman techniques, and was meant to last 1000 years. The rooms have arched roofs. When we visited the Castillo San Marcos fort in St. Augustine we saw the same type of rooms and roofs.

This BlountWeb link is down at the moment, but it has the best information I've found. Here's a cached copy. This 1957 Maryville-Alcoa Daily Times story interviews builder and original owner W.A. Nicholson, and is the best source for his religious motivations for building the structure. Nicholson was 61 when he began construction, and worked on it in his spare time while working a full-time job at the aluminum plant.

This Oak Ridger story interviews the current owner, Knoxville firefighter and paramedic Dean Fontaine.

The manor is also known as Darby's Castle, after a Kris Kristofferson song. The Knoxville Grass re-recorded the song on their album of the same name, and used a picture of the manor for the album cover.

I went to the castle as a kid when the JayCees used it as a haunted house. Melissa and I toured it Memorial Day a couple of years ago and met the current owners. Admission was free, with donations encouraged. The manor is at 500 North Wright Road, not far from the duck pond.

Friday Photoblogging: Savannah, Georgia

On our trip to Florida we took a little detour: "Took a sidetrip to Savannah, Georgia since it was so close to the interstate. Right across the bridge there was a tour company. Stopped in, found out that a tour was leaving in five minutes. Got on the tour. 90 minutes later we were heading back across the bridge. Fare thee well, Savannah." These are the best pics from that 3 hour 90 minute tour. All pictures were taken from the trolley. Even better shots are available from foot. Savannah is one photogenic town. Click on any picture for a larger version.

Savannah, of course, is the setting for the events described in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." It was on TV last week, which is what prompted me to go through these pictures. The diner scene in the movie takes place at Clary's cafe, shown here. I was disappointed with the movie when I saw it in the theater, but it was better the second time. It's a movie that moves slowly, as if the production crew is trying not to exert themselves in the stultifying heat, but the performances are good. Clint Eastwood gets the best out of the actors in his films. In the bonus DVD for "Unforgiven" he notes that he learned a trick from one of his Italian directors - instead of shouting "action" he casually says "whenever you're ready" and lets the actor begin at his own pace. Kevin Spacey's role is one of the high points of his career and illustrates his remarkable range. LATER: Here's a good Savannah Web site for Midnight fans.

Hummingbird and White Pickup Truck

Taken from the porch of a restaurant at Muddy Pond.

Return of the New Knoxville Brewing Company

I decided to break out of my recent rut tonight and head the Old City while Melissa was in her yoga class. The street I wanted to park on was closed, so I had to circle around the warehouse district and decided to explore. There's a foundry. There's an electrical supply warehouse. There's the Knoxville Truancy Center, conveniently located near the Knoxville Opera Company so that a truant baritone has a shot at making a better life for himself.

What's this? The New Knoxville Brewing Company Tasting Room. The brew company went out of business four years ago and has been greatly missed. I knew Al, ones of the guys who started it. But there they were, with two guys sitting out front in the 7:00 PM sun. I pulled in and started chatting with Brett and Brad.

Turns out the New (New) Knoxville Brewing Company is open for business again at the old location. They have distribution deals with Kroger's and other local stores for the bottled stuff. They've bought a year's worth of advertising in Metro Pulse and the (UT) Daily Beacon for the Tasting Room, their new bar that's located at the brewery.

Tonight was their opening night and I was their first customer. They're all nice folks. They don't have a Web site yet, but they plan on it eventually. Darts and pool are in the works, too.

Aurora is the brewery dog. She has the most amazing color I've seen on an animal. It's a beige that looks like it was custom ordered to co-ordinate with someone's couch and drapes. Oh, and Kim's nifty, too.

The address is 708 E. Depot Avenue, and the number is 522-0029 if you need directions. Or do what I did. Get lost in the Old City and hang a left.

Live-blogging Katie's Birth, Part 1

We got to the hospital at 7:00 this morning and the doctors put Melissa on a pitosin drip to dilate her. The doctor broke her water around 12:30, and she got an epidural right after that. That made her a little sick, but she's better now. Her mom just showed up, and she's sleeping now.

She hasn't dilated much, so it'll be a while before she delivers. The doctor had told us it might go over into Friday.

Oh, and Fort Sanders supposedly doesn't have public wi-fi, but I found an unsecured wireless network. The connection is pretty weak, so it could be from the building across the street. Hooray for insecure networks! They provide me with a job and a free wireless connection just when I need it.

Live-blogging Katie's Birth, Part 2

Melissa went from two centimeters to seven and a half in a couple of hours. My mom and sister came to the hospital, and in the hour they were here she went to nine centimeters at about 6:00. That's when the nurses asked her to start pushing.

After maybe half an hour we could just barely see the top of the head.

An hour and a half later, things hadn't progressed much. The doctor decided we're doing a c-section. They're getting her ready right now. I'm suited up to go in with her.

Live-blogging Katie's Birth, Part 3

Katie Elizabeth Jones was born at 9:09 and weighs 7 pounds, 7 ounces. She's healthy and happy, and we're happy.

The C-section went as well as those things go. I was in the room holding Melissa's hand the whole time, and watched Katie being born, and got these photos just seconds after her birth.

Incidentally, I was in the room earlier in the day when they gave Melissa the epidural. The nurse said I could stay, but I'd have to sit down because she didn't want me hitting the floor. After seeing the third shot I did get nauseous. Oddly enough, though, the C-section didn't bother me at all.

Once they began the C-section, they found out why the birth didn't progress normally. The cord was wrapped twice around the baby's neck. It doesn't seem to have caused any problems associated with a wrapped cord, and the heart rate never went down.

Melissa has had a tough day, and I'm proud of her. We're going to make sure she takes it nice and easy this next week.

Live-blogging Katie's Birth, Part 4

Everything's going well. Mom and baby are OK.

Sorry for the lack of updates. After delivery they moved us to a post-partum room on another part of the same floor, and I could no longer get on the open wireless network I had found earlier.

Not that I didn't try to get online. After Melissa ate breakfast Saturday morning I walked down to Cumberland to get a bite to eat. I wanted some bacon, eggs, and biscuits, but all of the old greasy spoons - the Torch, Sam and Andy's, Vic and Bill's, and Varsity Inn - are gone now.

I figured I'd go to Panera Bread and use their free wi-fi to get online and post pictures. I could get online, but not to lesjones.com. Panera's SonicWALL Content Filter blocked my site! Irony of ironies, the company I work for sells SonicWALL Content Filter. Darnit. I wandered around the outside of the hospital with a laptop last night trying to find that open wireless connection, but no dice.

I got to come home for a while Friday, but got called back before I could post anything. I'm home now for about four hours. I'm going back for one last night, and we'll all get to come home Monday.

Live-blogging Katie's Birth, Part 5

Katie's First UT Football Game

Saturday night was UT vs. Louisiana Tech. After Melissa's mom came to the hospital, I walked down to Cumberland to get us some pizza from Stefano's. Here's what I saw on the way. Click the "Continue Reading" link to see all the pictures.

Notes on The Empire Strikes Back

I bought the Star Wars DVD boxed set as a birthday present to myself, so this week Melissa and I are having a Star Wars marathon. Some notes from tonight:

• Luke Skywalker turns out pretty well for an orphan farmboy who dropped out of Jedi school.
• At Christmas time between episodes IV and V someone must have given Darth Vader the Old Spice Helmet Polish Gift Set. That is one shiny helmet.
• The scene where Leia kisses (her brother!) Luke to make Han jealous is grody.
• But Leia's hair looks a lot better than in "A New Hope." Actually, everyone's hair looks better. But the movie would have more sci-fi street cred if everyone had '70s feather hair, like in Battlestar Galactica. Can I get an amen?
• If Princess Leia had paid off Han's debt to Jabba she wouldn't have spent the next episode almost naked and in chains in Jabba's cave. That would have been a great loss to all of us who went through puberty in that era.
• Speaking of which, there's a Web site called Leia's Metal Bikini, or as I like to call it, The Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet.

Dick Cheney's Lesbian Daughter of Musician Jokes

See also Musican Jokes, Son of Musician Jokes, Bastard Child of Musician Jokes, and Test Tube Baby of Musician Jokes.

Q. What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A. A tattoo.

Q. How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
B. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
C. One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
D. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

Q. Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A. He had to break the window to get the drummer out!

Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to hold the bulb and six to drink until the room spins.

Q. What happens when you sing country and western music backwards?
A. You get your wife and your job back.

Q. What's an accordion good for?
A. Learning how to fold a map.

Q: How many blues guitarists does it take to cover "Voodoo Chile"?
A: All of them.

The next joke is long and dirty, so I'm putting it behind the more link.

Celebrate Arbitrary Date Change Day Like It's 1999

Do you remember 1999? Some people were fearful - worried about Y2K. Some people were ecstatic - partying at the millennium. Other people were smug - knowing that the 1999/2000 crossover wasn't the beginning of the new millennium; that would come a year later due to the lack of a year zero.

I always wondered about that last bunch of math nerds. The implication was that they were delaying their wild hijinx until the proper moment. That at midnight, December 31, 2000 the pool skimmers all across Silicon Valley would be clogged with pocket protectors, panties and Trooooo-Jaaaaaans! - some of them already uuuuuused! But I kinda doubt it.

Anyway, happy Arbitrary Date Change Day. Eat some black-eyed peas for good luck tomorrow.

Luke Skywalker: a One-man Play Performed by Cletis

Updated September 24, 2006.

Spotlight floods a lone man on the stage, seated on a barstool with a curlicue of cigarette smoke rising above his head like a world-weary halo.

My name is Luke Skywalker. I was born in a faraway galaxy on the lonely desert planet of Tattoine. I am a orphan on account of Darth Vader killed my pappy, and I never did know my momma.

When I got to be about 18 my friends all left and went to the Academy. I wanted to go to the Academy, too, but we wuz poor and I had to stay at home and help my aunt and uncle raise moisture crops.

Ben Kenobi was going to teach me to be a Jedi. Then Vader killed him, too.

Later on I went to Jedi school. Master Yoda tried to teach me the ways of the Jedi, but then my friends got mixed up in some trouble and I had to drop out. I tried going back but Master Yoda he up and died, too.

I was in love with a woman oncet, a princess, but she was in love with my best friend. Also, we figured out she was my sister.

One day my dead daddy showed up agin. He had some big scheme for ruling the universe. He wanted me to kill some guy. When I wouldn't go along with it he tried to kill me. Lucky all he did was chop off this here hand.

I finally had to give daddy the "come to Jesus" talk. After he got right with God we teamed up and opened a can of whoop ass on the emperor.

This is My SKS. There are Many Like It, But This One is Mine.

Went to the gun show early this morning and picked up this SKS. It's an excellent grade Yugoslavian 59/66. It must have been imported by a local company, because the markings under the barrel are "TG KNOX TN SKS 59/66 7.62X39 YUGOSLAVIA." (LATER: this importer apparently supplies a lot of dealers. Guns with similar markings are being sold by Southern Ohio Guns, among others.)

The Yugo 59/66s are currently the cheap SKSes because they're in the greatest supply. The Russian and Romanian models are long gone. Lots of people won't buy the Norincos because they're Chinese, and China is the only SKS-producing country that's still Communist. The Chinese guns are also the only ones being produced new for export; all the others are milsurp. Furthermore, the Bush, Jr. administration prohibits Norinco imports because they discovered the company was selling missile components to Iran. I'd never buy a post-2003 Norinco.

Evil features? It's got a bayonet and grenade launcher, with gas shut-off valve and grenade sights (shown in the photo at the right). Do I need a grenade launcher? Well, yeah. If I want to piss off Ted Kennedy and Diane Feinstein I do. When Jerry Falwell or Pat Roberson says a movie is bad, you want to see it. When Ted Kennedy, Diane Feinstein, and Chuck Schumer say a gun feature is bad, you look for it. Besides which, this gun was issued with a bayonet and grenade launcher. Lopping them off degrades the historical value of the piece. Anyway, you can't buy rifle grenades, so the grenade launcher isn't a menace to society.

The dealer I bought this from had two crates of SKSes. How do you choose? The first thing I knew to look for was matching serial numbers. Most of the guns had matching serial numbers on the bolt, receiver, magazine, trigger guard, and buttstock, but a few didn't and I ruled them out. Then I looked at stock quality, metal wear, and bluing. Honestly, most of them looked pretty darned good. Between the two best units one had a receiver that was nicely blued, while the other receiver was a little more brownish and didn't match the metal on the rest of the gun. I used a light to check the bore of the darker one, and the bore was perfect, so that's the one I bought.

The stock has just a few minor dings, and almost no wear in the blueing, which is amazingly rich and dark. The stock is walnut-stained with a good grain pattern. Judging from the almost non-existent wear, it's probably an unissued rifle. For $125 you can't beat it. One feature of the 59/66s you don't see on all SKSes is the flip-up front sight. It has a standard black front post, but if you can't see that there's a flip-up yellow-dot front sight.

This one wasn't loaded up with cosmoline. I used a nylon scrubbie and Oops! solvent to clean the stock. (Other popular options include 0000 steel wool and either mineral spirits, brake cleaner, a citrus-based cleaner, or E-Z Off oven cleaner.) The pictures here are pre-cleanup. I'll take the stock off the receiver and bake the whole thing in the oven at 130 degrees to melt off the remaining Cosmoline. After that I'll disassemble the bolt and clean it, and it'll be good to go. I may re-finish the stock in Tung oil to spiff it up. More SKS info here.

Car, Motorcycle in Little River in Smoky Mountains

UPDATE MARCH 15: new information here.

Melissa and I decided to enjoy the spring-like weather and take a ride through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The ride included Little River Road between Townsend and Gatlinburg. In 36 years of living here and going to the park hundreds of times I never saw a vehicle in the river, but today we saw two. Both were just west of The Sinks.

The first was a motorcycle. Rangers and rescue personnel were still on the scene when we went by, and it looks like they were pulling someone up the river bank. The motorcycle's headlight was still burning, as you can see in the picture. In fact, the headlight may be the only part of the motorcycle you'll recognize in this out of focus picture. I couldn't get out of the car without interfering with the rescue, so I quickly snapped this out of the car window while our lane of traffic was briefly stopped.

Down the road just a few curves we were shocked to see a second accident. We stopped and talked to the people at the scene, one of whom was the car's driver, a woman from Friendsville. She and her daugher had stopped and gotten out of the car to look at the river. The car started rolling and before they knew what happened the car was tail-end into the water. No one was hurt.

The driver said her accident happened about an hour earlier. At some point while they were standing there with other onlookers, they saw a motorcycle pass a line of cars at high speed. Someone said "there goes the next victim" and about five minutes later someone came by and said a motorcycle had hit a tree and gone into the river. Someone said there was a child riding on the back. That's all second-hand, so take it with a grain of salt.

We ate dinner in Maryville at my mom's house and watched the 6 o'clock news, but didn't see anything about the accident. We're anxious to find out the condition of the motorcycle's passengers. More pictures below the jump.

Oak Apple Gall Wasp (Amphibolips confluenta)

Oak apple galls form when a female Amphibolips confluenta wasp injects her egg into a budding oak leaf. The tree responds by forming a gall around the insect. The gall protects the growing insect and provides it with sustenance.

I've seen hundreds of oak apple galls, but they've been old galls that were brown, dry, and papery, with a small hole where the adult wasp bored its way out. On Sunday we hiked to White Oak Sinks in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The fresh galls we found on the trail were green and pliable, and the wasp pupae were still growing inside.

Above: the inside is mostly air, with a seed-like structure in the center suspended by wispy fibers.

Below: With the seed-like middle structure opened, the white wasp pupae can be seen.

Here's a very good natural history of Amphibolips confluenta, with pictures of the dried galls and the adult wasp.

October 25, 2006 update - Two of these pictures will be included in Oak Gallwasps of the Western Palaearctic, to be published by the Ray Society (Natural History Museum, London).

John Jay Hooker at BlogNashville

John Jay Hooker, a colorful figure in Tennessee politics, interjected during the Dave Winer session at BlogNashville and became an instant hit among bloggers. His most notable quote at the engagement was "You can't call a son-of-a-bitch a son-of-a-bitch without calling him a son-of-a-bitch."

As told in his Web site profile, Hooker is a past candidate for Tennessee governor ('66), media empire broker, former fried chicken tycoon, and a person who has been influential in Democratic politics at the national level. Some of the men he's counted as friends are Estes Kefauver, Robert Kennedy, Muhammad Ali, and Al Gore, Sr. He's a larger-than-life guy - the very archetype of the white-haired Southern attorney with a billowing voice and loquacious speech. He's 75 and going strong, as evidenced by his interest in blogging.

Chris Wage points to the John Jay Hooker Wikipedia entry, which recounts his rarefied lineage.

He was a descendant of the first Chief Justice of the United States and his namesake, John Jay, and also "Fighting Joe" Hooker, a Union general in the American Civil War whose camp-followers are said to have been the source of a well-known slang term for prostitutes which began as "Hooker's girls".

His Web site profile continues in that vein, noting that he's the "grandchild of Henry Williamson, a signer of the Constitution of Tennessee (1870). His mother is Darthula Hooker June, a descendent of Tennessee Governor William Blount, who was a signer of the U.S. Constitution (1787) and President of the Constitutional Convention of Tennessee (1796)."

At the after hours get together at PM's, Hooker arrived and sat down at the bar by himself. I invited him over to the table. (For some reason I feel compelled to note that while the rest of us were drinking, Hooker was not.) He's extremely interested in blogging. One thing he wanted to know was whether there was an audience for in-depth discussions, and everyone assured him there was.

As an example of the in-depth discussions he wanted to have, he mentioned the current controversy over judicial filibusters. Hooker thinks one of the few mistakes the framers made in the Constitution is lifetime appointment for Federal judges. But that being as it is, he thinks judges should therefore be appointed by more than a majority. He also made a point about Senate rule changes that I confess I didn't quite follow.

Melissa thought she had a family connection to Hooker, so after we left the bar she called her parents. It turns out Melissa's maternal grandfather, Tom Henry, worked for Hooker's gubernatorial campaign in 1966. He painted a bread truck with Hooker slogans, bolted speakers on the top, and drove between Knoxville and Nashville exhorting people over the loudspeaker to VOTE! for JOHN! JAY! HOOKER!

From bread trucks to blogs in four decades. How things do change in politics. Later that night Hooker joined some bloggers for one of the "Food for Thought" dinners. It just happened to be the one at Nashville's Red Restaurant. Eric Janssen of Quixtar Blog was there and took pictures and notes. He writes, "It was a rather surreal moment that I was able to catch on camera - John Jay Hooker reading the U.S. Constitution to a couple of bloggers inside a gay bar." 20th century, allow me to introduce the 21st century. 21st century, the 20th century.

I Day to Episode III

Hey little Padwan, if you're going to the midnight showing of Episode III start your day with a good breakfast, like Star Wars frosted sugar blasters! They're what stormtroopers eat.

My first reaction was that it was odd that they'd pitch the cereal with Darth Vader, the one who turned evil. What's next -- Satan-Os and Frosted Shredded Hitler? I mean, why not Luke Skywalker or an Episode I-era Annakin Skywalker? And then it hit me: Lucas doesn't have to share royalties with the helmet.

Lucas doesn't need my help selling the Star Wars franchise for merchandising, but I can at least help him be more creative in the tie-ins. Here are some better product names, complete with ironic mottos.

Lucky Death Stars - "That's no yellow moon, orange star, or green clover. It's a space station."

Han Sol-Os - "Hokey weapons and ancient religions are no match for a good breakfast, kid."

Han Sol-Os, Special Edition - Same thing, but the cereal bites first, forcing Han to eat it.

Obi-Wan Ken Oat Bran - "Obi-Wan Ken Oat Bran. Obi-Wan. Now that's a cereal I 've not had in a long time. A long time."

Chris Range suggests Death Startal - "It takes a hundred star destroyers to equal the awesome destructive power of just one bowl of Death Startal."

Bonus - Every Star Wars cereal box ever made in every country.

MONTHS LATER - Considering how Anakin ends up in Episode III, featuring him on the box for Pop-Tarts Lava Berry Explosion seems sort of cruel.

DECEMBER 2006:

Luke's High Fiber Colon Blasters - "You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!"

Jedi Mind Trix - "You want to buy this cereal. It has bright colors and a rabbit on the box. There's a toy prize inside. You want the toy prize."

Babe Simpson, the Bank Robber in the Family Tree

Last week Melissa's mother Virginia gave her some of aunt Marg's old family photos and the stories to go with them. The man in this picture is Babe Simpson. Melissa's mom knew that he was Melissa's grandfather's cousin, and was a gangster of some sort.

The picture was apparently taken in Knoxville. The back of the picture is an advertisement for "The Askins Stores, 506 S. Gay St., Knoxville, Tenn."

Virginia knew that Babe had been a gangster, and had met him a long time ago when she was very young, but didn't know the whole story. Melissa called her grandmother Geneva, who said Babe had been in the Bunch Gang. We had never heard of them, so we went looking.

At Geneaology.com someone had once asked about the Bunch Gang and gotten an answer from Harry Till:

My cousin, Clarence was the leader. He was shot in Knoxville in 1934.

After escaping from the Cocke County jail at Newport Tn on May 15, 1934, Clarence and his gang rampaged through Claiborne, Grainger and Knox Counties. They killed Sheriff Hutchinson of Union County. They stole cars and robbed travellers until they were finally trapped at the home of C T Epperson, described as a bootlegger and a first cousin of Clarence's mother. Clarence was killed in a hail of machine gun fire as he tried to shoot Sherriff Brewer of Knoxville.

The Knox County Sheriff's Web site mentions that Wesley Brewer, in his term from 1932-1936, "was Sheriff in an era when the Roger Toughy Gang was headquartered here and Clarence Bunch was killed in a shoot-out with police."

I emailed Till to see if he had more information, and he responded:

The Bunch of the Bunch Gang was my cousin Clarence. They were primarily bank robbers. They operated mostly in Northeast Tennessee. I know Clarence escaped once while awaiting trial for a bank robbery in Virginia. He was killed in Knoxville in August 1935 [I think he meant 1934 - LJ]. Almost the entire front page of the Knoxville paper was devoted to the shooting, including a morgue picture.

According to this message board post, the front page story was in the August 23, 1934 edition of the Knoxville Journal. The Journal went into a long decline and was sold to its current owners as a shadow of its former self in 1995. I called their offices, and they said I'd need to go to the library to find back issues, so that's a project for a rainy day.

I'm not sure if Babe was present at the gunfight, but if so he survived. During Father's Day dinner Melissa and I quizzed her family. They say he did a long stretch in the penitentiary. After he got out he visited his relatives in Knoxville. I assume that's when Melissa's mother and grandmother met him. He was still handsome enough to make Melissa's grandmother "weak in the knees."

His brother Walt Simpson told them that the gang had hidden some of their loot on the banks of the Tennessee River. When the gang tried to retrieve it they couldn't locate the hiding place. If the story's true, there could still be a Bunch Gang treasure somewhere along the river.

After he got out of the pen, Babe apparently quit the outlaw life. He married, moved to Virginia, and had three children. This is a picture of him with two of his kids.

Just last night someone on RootsWeb answered Melissa's post with more information, including Babe's real name - Jesse Edward Simpson. He was born in 1909 in Petros, Tennessee. He died in 1978 and is buried in Fries cemetery in Grayson County, Virginia. Walt Simpson passed away just last year.

Goofy Trips To-Do List

Goofy trips are what Melissa and I call little day trips and weekend trips within a couple hours of Knoxville. When we first moved in together we made a list of different things we wanted to do. Some of them were things neither of us had done and some of them one of us had done, but we wanted to do them together.

With a long weekend coming up we've been thinking about goofy trips. I used to keep this list in Excel on my computer, but I'm moving it to the blog. This is the list we'll look at when we have a free weekend day and need something to do.

Things To Do

All cities are in Tennessee unless they're not.

- Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia
- Sharp's Chapel ferry ride
- Whitewater rafting on the Ocoee
- Scottish Games and Festival in Gatlinburg
- Lake Eden Arts Festival (LEAF) in NC (Memorial or Labor Day)
- Parkway Drive-in Movie Theater in Maryville
- Abbingdon, Virginia theater and antiques
- Visit Mark in Bristol
- Kings Island theme park, Ohio
- Visit Tammy in Atlanta, Georgia
- Hot Springs, North Carolina weekend trip
- Cornbread Festival in South Pittsburgh
- Smokies baseball game at the new stadium in Kodak
- National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough
- Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg
- Gethsemani Monastery in Bardstown, Kentucky
- Jefferson Co. Fair (July/early August)
- Rent a boat on Douglas Lake
- Alvin C. York birthplace (could combine this with the next two, which are in the same area)
- Historic Rugby
- Northrup Falls hike at Colditz Cove State Natural Area
- Jack Daniels BBQ Festival in October
- Lake Lure, NC

Trip Reports and Pictures

Some of these were on the list, too.

- Alleghany Falls and Alleghany Springs Hotel in Maryville (Blount County), Tennessee
- Asheville, North Carolina
- Athens, Tennessee
- Boone and Banner Elk, North Carolina ski trip
- Chattanooga, Tennessee
- Cades Cove, Tennessee (Great Smoky Mountains National Park
- Crossville, Tennessee
- Dayton, Tennessee, part 1: Scopes Trial Museum and Downtown
- Dayton, Tennessee, part 2: Stinging Falls Pocket Wilderness
- Dandridge, TN and Tennessee's Covered Bridges
- Eintstein Simplified (Knoxville improv/sketch comedy group)
- Elkmont Synchronized Lightning Bugs (2nd week of June in the Smokies)
- Grainger County Tomato Festival
- Gregory's Bald Azalea Backpacking Trip Great Smoky Mountains National Park
- Hwy. 30 - Mayfield Dairy Tour, Etowah's L&N Depot, Reliance, Ocoee River Whitewater
- Horse Racing at Keeneland in Kentucky
- Jonesborough, Tennessee
- Kephart Shelter Backpacking Trip, Great Smoky Mountains National Park
- Knoxville Zoo
- Ladies night at the pistol range
- Millennium Manor in Alcoa (Memorial Day)
- Morristown, TN and Its Unusual Downtown Walkways
- Mt Airy, North Carolina
- Mt. Cammerer Firetower Hike, Great Smoky Mountains National Park
- Nashville, Tennessee
- Tennessee Valley Fair
- Townsend and Walland, Tennessee
- Virgin Falls Pocket Wilderness Backpacking Trip, Middle Tennessee-
- Waynesville and Sylva, NC
- World's Longest Yard Sale on Hwy. 127

Links to some other things we did on our list:

- Knoxville homes tour at Christmastime
- Foothills Fall Festival in Maryville
- Teddy's play
- Palace Theater concert in Maryville
- Turkey dinner in Georgia
- Etowah antiques shopping
- Valleyfest Film Festival (now defunct)
- Pleasant Hill, Kentucky Shaker Village
- Crossville/Muddy Pond
- Steve Kaufman Guitar Camp Concerts at Maryville College

World's Longest Yard Sale

Saturday Melissa and I went to the World's Longest Yard Sale on Hwy. 127. The four day sale spans 450 miles from Kentucky through Tennessee to Alabama. Over lunch we heard stories of people coming from as far away as Oregon. Even the LA Times saw fit to run a story about it (hat tip to Michael Silence).

We visited the stretch from Crossville to Jamestown, Tennessee, which is where the idea for this grand yard sale originated. Melissa bought a Christmas ornament, I bought a trucker hat, and we picked up a matching set of salt, pepper, flour, and sugar shakers at the Cumberland General Store.

We went home via 52, 63, and I-75. It turned out to be a beautiful drive. That route took us through Jamestown, whose claim to fame is as birthplace to World War I hero Alvin C. York and, uh, conception place to author Mark Twain. The original York Institute, named for York and built with funds he helped raise, is on 52. The institute has moved to new headquarters, and the original brick building is decaying so much that the ruin is visible from the road. The Tennessee Preservation Trust placed the York Institute on its ten most endangered list.

The road continues to Rugby, a utopian colony founded by English novelist Thomas Hughes. This was their 38th annual pilgrimmage, and many of the homes had open house. We stopped just briefly because it was late in the day. We're planning a return to visit Rugby, the Alvin York birthplace, and Northrup Falls in Colditz Cove State Natural Area.

My Million Dollar Beer Name Idea

So there's the St. Pauli Girl, who looks like this:

I looked at that picture and wondered - don't we have a famous busty blonde in Tennessee? Yes. Yes, we do.

Eureka! The perfect name for an East Tennessee beer would be St. Dolly Girl (or St. Dolli Girl if you want to be pretentious). I'll leave it to others to do the Photoshops.

See also:
- My Million Dollar Rap Music Idea
- My Million Dollar Salad Dressing Idea
- My Million Dollar Restaurant Idea
- Teddy's Million Dollar Doughnut Idea, and My Million Dollar Cell Phone Idea

Mt. Collins Backpacking Trip

(The cable modem is still flaky, so I took the laptop to a wi-fi hotspot last night to upload these pictures.)

I took a few days last week and went backpacking in the Smokies. The original plan was to to to Icewater Springs, but they were booked up and I wound up going to Mt. Collins instead. Mt. Collins is on the Appalachian near Clingman's Dome up in the high-elevation spruce-fir zone. It's like going to Canada, complete with flying squirrels.

Some backpackers try to avoid people when they go out, and some don't like the shelters. For me, it depends on the trip and what I want out of it. I tend to go to shelters on my solo trips for the company, and generally find folks at the AT shelters to be exceptionally nice.

There were three other people at the shelter that night. Jenna and Paula were co-eds from Pennsylvania. They had planned on going to the Adirondacks, but that area was blanketed in rain, so they drove to Tennessee instead and got to enjoy much nicer weather.

The other person was a fellow in his seventies named Paul Johnson. Paul's an interesting character. He had been an enginer before he retired. He had programmed computers for the US military to monitor Soviet compliance with the SALT 2 missile treaty, worked on the Panama Canal, and lived in some interesting places and had some interesting wives and kids. He's apparently a regular on the forum at TheBackpacker.com under the handle slimmernow (he used to weigh 288 pounds and keeps his weight under control with regular backpacking).

Paul lives in Melbourne, Florida now. His house got hit by one of the hurricanes, and he's backpacking in the Smokies while they fix it. His goal now is to spend the night at all of the campsites and shelters in the park before he gets too old and has to give up backpacking. He says outdoor author Johnny Malloy is doing that same thing. That sounds more fun to me than hiking all of the trails in the park, which a lot of people are doing.

It was a good trip, as usual. Staying out overnight is a great way for me to get a little perspective on things and recharge my spirits.

Flying Squirrels

The other day I mentioned that there flying squirrels live in the spruce-fir zone in the Smokies. After doing a little reading, I realized that the exceptional thing is that the Northern Flying Squirrel (Glaucomys sabrinus) lives there. Here's the U.S. range map for the species:

The Northern Flying Squirrel, like the spruce and fir trees, is adapted to cold weather. The population in the Smokies is left over from the last ice age. Those species would have flourished in Tennessee's low elevations during the ice age, but as temperatures rose they retreated to colder climates, either northward or upslope to higher elevations. With the Smokies population cut off from the main population they've differentiated and formed a recognized and endangered sub-species, the Carolina Northern Flying Squirrel (Glaucomys sabrinus coloratus).

I knew that there were flying squirrels in the Smokies. What I didn't know is that there are flying squirrels all over Tennessee, North Carolina, and other southern states, as well as most of the Northeastern U.S. The species we have is the Southern Flying Squirrel (Glaucomys volans), which is smaller and better adapted to warm climates.

I've never seen one, probably because they're small and nocturnal. They also don't build easy to spot leafy nests like gray squirrels do. Instead, they live in woodpecker holes and natural cavities. This is an excellent site about the world's flying squirrels. Now that I know more about them I'd love to see one in the wild.

Katie's First Trip to the Beach

Katie got to go to Destin, Florida this summer with Melissa and her parents. She loved it. Photo credit to Melissa.

LATER: I really like the sequences below that Melissa took. I didn't appreciate them until I saw them together on a Web page.

Introverts and Extroverts

Jonathan Rauch's Caring for Your Introvert: The habits and needs of a little-understood group is very good, and I say that as a confirmed introvert.

The usual definitions of extrovert and introvert - the former is outgoing and the latter is introspective - are less than worthless. A decade ago I discovered the Jungian definition and found it much more elucidating: extroverts are energized by interaction with other people, and introverts are drained by interaction with other people. That was a eureka moment for me, and describes the situation perfectly.

I'm an introvert, and I can only take so much social interaction before I have to become a hermit. How much depends on the circumstances. I can be around people longer when I'm having fun than when I'm not having fun, but I run out of steam faster if I'm tired or ill.

My wife on the other hand is a very gregarious extrovert. That caused some conflict early in our relationship. She couldn't understand why I wanted time to myself, and took it as rejection. Me, I just wanted to be left alone sometimes. I explained it to her in terms of introversion and the Jungian definition. She understood, but pointed out that the "little time" I wanted to myself was morning, noon, and night. We're gradually developing a compromise. She gives me some space when I need it, and I make a point of giving her time and attention throughout the day when she needs it.

Via Kevin Drum.

Does Steven Wright Take Unsolicited Material?

So this guy tells me he's researched his family tree all the way back to 1842. I say, "Wow! That's amazing! 1842?

And he sort of light ups and says "Yeah, 1842!"

And I say, "That's amazing!"

And he's like, "I know!"

And I ask again 'cause I can hardly believe it, "1842?"

And he gets really excited and says "Yeah, 1842!"

And I'm like, "Wait. Do you mean 1842 BC or 1842 AD?"

And he's like, "Um, 1842 AD."

And I look disappointed and say, "Oh. Well, I guess that's still pretty good."

Any Other Fiestaware Collectors Out There?

Melissa and I got married in our thirties, so we already had all of the usual housekeeping stuff. Some was better than others, so we kept whichever was best and gifted and yardsaled the rest. When it came to dishes, it was no contest. I had bachelor dishes from K-mart, and she had Fiestaware.

I had seen Fiestaware at antique stores at high prices and assumed it was some ancient stuff that wasn't made any more. Melissa explained that it's still made, but every six months or a year the maker (The Homer Laughlin China Company) retires an old color and introduces a new color. Also, the entire line was discontinued in 1973, with production resuming in 1986. Here's a Fiestaware color chronology. There are currently 15 colors in production.

Like Melissa, most people buy each place setting in a different color. You can buy everything in one color, but eventually it will be discontinued. Then if you break a piece you'll have to buy replacements on the collector's market, which today is eBay. A current place setting is about $20 on sale. Discontinued place settings can run $150 or more for rare colors like Lilac, which was only made in 1993-95, or for the pre-1974 pieces.

Most of our pieces are current, though Fiesta Yellow was discontinued a few years ago and Sea Mist Green and Rose are being discontinued effective the end of this month. We also have some antique Rose (1951-59) pieces passed down from Melissa's relatives. When someone asks what we want for Christmas we ask for a place setting in the new color. This year for Christmas we received Peacock Blue, which is what made me write this post. The last three years we've picked up Tangerine Orange, Shamrock Green, and Scarlet Red.

In our area Proffitt's carries Fiestaware. For online shopping, try Fiestaware Fiesta. If you live in East Tennessee or are travelling to the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area, visit the Rebel Dish Barn on Highway 66 in Sevierville. They have a huge collection of Fiestaware, with discontinued colors and unusual pieces like butter dishes, candlestick holders, and trivets that aren't carried in most department stores.

Incidentally, Fiestaware is dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and oven safe to about 350 degrees. Also, I'm picky about the shape of soup/cereal bowls, and for me the bowls are perfect. Fiestaware is tough, too. In four years we've never broken or chipped any of ours.

The best reason to have it, though, is that it's fun. I had boring dishes as a bachelor, but now opening the cupboard and seeing all of those colors makes me happy.

Trivia Bonus! The current Fiestaware glaze is lead-free, though older, pre-1974 reds weren't. The original Red (1936-1943) contained uranium oxide, believe it or not. Cecil Adams has the scoop. Homer Laughlin discontinued the color not necessarily because of safety concerns (according to Cecil, the radiation didn't exceed background levels), but because the government wanted all of the uranium it could get for the Manhattan Project.

Ronnie "The torso of 1977 was not Paul Hurst" Sellers Has a New Sign

Last Saturday we had breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Alcoa. So did Ronnie Sellers, the local man who's known his red and white sign with the message "The torso of 1977 was not Paul Hurst." Only now he had a new sign.

I met Sellers last summer when I spotted his old sign on his car parked at Midland shopping center. I stopped to take a cell phone picture and he came out of the laundromat to talk to me. He told me his story, but it didn't make sense the way he was telling it. He gave me a photocopy of an old Daily Times story from September 27, 1978, and mentioned that Blount Today had a recent article.

Hurst, who worked at K-25 in Oak Ridge, was a boxing coach in Blount County.

Sellers boxed for Hurst and his son Sunny in the early 1970s. Sunny Hurst coached him when Sellers fought then unknown "Sugar" Ray Leonard at the Ohio State Fair in October of 1973. Leonard won the fight by decision.

"I lost by one point," Sellers said. "I could have knocked Leonard out. I met him the night before, and I thought he was a heck of a nice guy."

About four years after that fight during the Thanksgiving weekend of 1977, Paul Hurst disappeared. A decapitated body was found behind University of Tennessee Medical Center, and it was determined it was Hurst’s body.

According to Sellers, years later, the body was exhumed and doctors found evidence that maybe it wasn’t Hurst’s body. Now Sellers wants officials to reopen the closed case and find Hurst.

I asked my mother about it, and she remembers the story well. She says it was all over the local news at the time in Blount County. The Daily Times photocopy shows a front page, headline story about the case, with a photo of Blount County Coroner Roy White, and private investigators Jesse Creech and Raymond Anderson. The men are at a press conference with a WGAP microphone on the table. My mother remembers Raymond Anderson, who was quite the character. Last Saturday Sellers had a cardboard box next to his car with stapled photocopies of that story, along with Daily Times front page headlines from October 30, 1978 and November 23, 1978.

The latter story reports that forensic examiner Bill Bass examined the body after exhumation and concluded that it was Hurst, though Hurst's son disputed the report at the time. Bass is now a nationally-known forensic anthropologist who created the University of Tennessee's "body farm" for researching decomposition. It was made famous by the Patricia Cornwell book of the same name. I don't think anyone has noted the odd fact that the body farm is located behind the UT Medical Center, which is also where Hurst's torso was found in 1977. UT's body farm opened in 1981. (LATER: I'm not endorsing a conspiracy theory. It just seems like there may be some mundane connection between the two things, if only in Seller's imagination.)

Bass is also the subject of Sellers' new sign, which reads "Did Dr. Bass produce the body for the Paul Hurst Torso Conspiracy?" This strange story just got a little stranger.

LATER: Ronnie Sellers responds to this post

Alleghany Falls and Alleghany Springs Hotel in Maryville (Blount County), Tennessee

"Linnaeus Hastings and Karl Garner at Alleghany Falls near the Alleghany Springs Hotel"

(This weekend's snowy weather reminded me of this goofy trip from last month. - LJ)

While Reading Blount County Remembered I ran across this photograph of Alleghany Falls taken by WO Garner in the 1890s. I had never heard of that waterfall. I couldn't find any mention of it on the World Wide Web. None of my books that cover the Great Smoky Mountains National Park mention it, so I was pretty sure it wasn't inside the park. The book said the falls were visible from Alleghany Loop Road. I had never heard of that, either, but it was enough of a clue to plug into Google Maps to get started.

Since the snow they promised us on Saturday never materialized at the lower elevations, it was a good day to search for Alleghany Falls. Melissa and Katie and I loaded up in the car, ate lunch at Kay's Ice Cream in Maryville, and then picked up our friend Jay for a road trip.

The Google Maps directions weren't quite right, but a stop at a little diner on 129 got us going in the right direction. (See driving directions at the end of this post.) Once we found Four Mile Road we got stopped for a bit while two guys loaded a surplus Jeep onto a flatbed truck. The road was too narrow to pass, so I got out and asked the guys for directions. One of them said he had played in the falls and creek many times as a kid. He assured us that we just had to go to the end of Stump Road and turn right and we couldn't miss it.

Within half a mile of the turn we reached a set of falls. It seemed a might small, but we stopped and took pictures. It didn't take long to convince ourselves that the falls were too small to be the ones pictured in the photograph unless Linnaeus Hastings was a midget.

As we drove further the creek switched to the other side of the road and got smaller and smaller and then disappeared entirely. We almost gave up until we found another creek flowing alongside the road flowing in the opposite direction. At 2.5 miles we found Alleghany Falls.

Alleghany Springs and Alleghany Falls were once the raison d'etre for Blount County's finest resort. According to this excellent article, at various times Blount County's resorts included Wildwood Springs Hotel, Cowan Springs, Cure-All Spring, Mount Nebo Hotel, Melrose Springs Hotel, Kinzel Springs Hotel, Sunshine Rest Cottages, Yellow Sulfur Springs Hotel, Line Springs Hotel, Alleghany Springs Hotel, and perhaps the best known of them all, the Montvale Springs Hotel, where poet and musician Sidney Lanier set his only novel, Tiger Lilies. He stayed at Montvale during the Civil War from 1860-63 when his family owned the hotel. Almost all of the resorts succumbed to fire, changing railroad routes, and, probably, changing tastes in leisure away from the supposed curative powers of mineral springs.

Montvale Springs is the most storied of the resorts due to its longevity and legendary patrons - including not only Lanier but Smoky Mountains namesakes Thomas Lanier Clingman (Clingman's Dome), Joseph LeConte (Mount LeConte), and Arnold Guyot (Mount Guyot). In terms of accommodations, however, Alleghany Springs Hotel was without a doubt the finest of them all:

G.M. Miser Grocery on Miser Station Road

I wanted to play around with black and white photography, so I drove down Louisville Road and turned onto Miser Station to shoot the G.M. Miser grocery store and the other buildings at the intersection of Miser Station and Vinegar Valley Roads.

Click any picture to enlarge and enter the slideshow.

While I was there a fellow walked by and I asked him if he knew anything about the other buildings, which didn't have signs. He knew that the block structure had been apartments, but said that if I really wanted to know, I should ask the old guy who was just pulling into the driveway of the white house next door.

That old guy turned out to be name of Bill Baker, and he was nice enough to answer my questions. He confirmed that the block building had been apartments, and said there had been another grocery store on the corner that's now empty. In 1921 his dad either worked at or owned (I couldn't tell from what he said, and I didn't clarify) the third building. It had been a gas station, which made sense with the overheard light and the compressor on the outside. According to Mr. Baker the station at one time had a gravity gas pump: the attendant would use a handpump to pump gas into an overhead glass tank, then the gas would flow from there to the car.

The gas station looks like brick in the pictures. It's actually a wooden building like the grocery store. At some point it was re-covered in asphalt shingles. You see that on some old buildings. The cabin at the Oscar Blevins place in Big South Fork National River and Recreation Area is that way. It was an inexpensive way to put a new face on an old building, and to armor the interior against wind and rain.

According to the Blount County Historic Trust book, Back Home in Blount County, the store once served as the local post office, and was the second grocery owned by the Miser family. Presumably the first was the one I found in a Web search - the G.M. Miser grocery store at the intersection of Union Grove Rd. and Chestnut Hill Rd. in Friendsville. That store is one of a number of Blount County buildings on the National Register of Historical Places.

Photography notes - Pictures taken around 2:00 on a heavily overcast day. The new camera's "auto bracket" feature did what I thought from reading the manual. It takes three successive pictures, each with a different exposure so you have a better chance of getting a good exposure. I ran the settings at the extreme, so my high and low exposures weren't very helpful. I've dialed the settings back now. I still need to work on understanding exposure; many of the pictures I took were unusable.