Les Jones

Knoxville, TN Night Life (Bars, Dancing and Live Music)

I've been writing about daytrips around Knoxville. It occured to me to write what I know best and help visitors find their way around Knoxville. This time around I'll write about the bar scene.

Bars tend to come and go, to wax and wane, and to get and lose liquor licenses. I'd hate to send anyone to a padlocked building, so I'll stick to the major landmarks. I'll also skip some neighborhood bars that I like (Toddy's, for one) because I don't think tourists would be interested in them. (Josh Mills writes: "So Toddy's is not worth a description? I mean, how many bars are built upstairs from a liquor store? How many bars let drunk people throw horseshoes?" Good point.)

East end

The Old City
The Old City is the best place for a night of fun. Everything is within a few blocks, so you can park once and barhop on foot. (And since I mentioned cars, I should mention designated drivers. Pick one, or take a cab. We now return to our regularly-scheduled depravity.) If you're looking at a map, the Old City is near downtown at the intersection of Jackson and Central.

There are almost too many Old City bars to mention, but some of the best and longest-standing include Manhattan's (food and great live music), Patrick O'Sullivan's (beautiful building and atmosphere, food, music upstairs), and Barley's (huge draft beer selection, pizza, pool and darts, live music).

Lucille's is a great little jazz club, what one out-of-town guest called "a classy dive." They have fantastic (but pricey) food, live music, a courtyard for dining and music, talented bartenders, and hot waitresses in slinky cocktail dresses.

For dancing and goth styling in the Old City, there's Fiction, formerly The Underground. If Fiction is your kind of place, you'll probably like the KnoxGothic web site and the events they post.

UT
For the college experience, stumble around Cumberland Avenue, AKA The Strip, adjacent to the University of Tennessee. For old school eating and drinking, there's Old College Inn, which was there before you and I were born and will be there after we're all long gone. 2204 Cumberland Avenue.

Another Cumberland stalwart is the great Long Branch Saloon, which appeals to an earthier crowd. It's where I spent my college daze. (I liked it better before they moved the bar to the other side of the main room.) 1848 Cumberland Avenue.

If you prefer something brighter and livelier, Hannah's Cafe is great. The bar is an encyclopaedia of inebriation. Who knew there was such a thing as dark vodka? Who knew it would damned near make me puke? 1901 Cumberland Avenue.

The Carousel is a gay bar, which means one thing: lots of dancing for the ladies. It's one block off Cumberland at 15th and White, behind the law school. (Insert your own joke.) For other gay bars, see Out in Knoxville.

There are a dozen other bars in the area that I won't try to name, because they generate with Old Testament speed. "The University Club begat The Library, which did beget ye Barley and Hopps" and on and on.

Downtown
If you're downtown, visit The Bistro for dinner and drinks and the painting of the naked lady. The Bistro is right next to the historic Bijou theater. There are often art exhibits upstairs in the Bijou.

Depending on when you're reading this, there's probably a brewpub at 424 Gay Street. It was originally the Smoky Mountain Brewing Company, then Southern Brewing Company, then City Brew, and now it's Downtown Grill and Brewery. Whatever it's called, it's a beautiful place. It isn't obvious at first, but there are pool tables upstairs in the back. (BTW, Gay Street isn't a nickname. It's the main street through downtown. It was named back in a more innocent, Victorian age.)

Market Square area has the Preservation Pub (which was Mercury Theater a decade ago) and Macleod's (which was Mozart's Cafe a decade ago). For dinner, there's the incredible Tomato Head for gourmet pizzas, sandwiches and vegetarian food. A block away you'll find Fairbanks Roasting Room where you can get drinks, coffee, food, music and (occasionally; check the schedule) dancing. Market Square is next to the TVA Towers. On a map, look for the intersection of Market Street and Wall Street.

Elsewhere
If you're good with a map or have a friend who'll drive you there, try Sassy Ann's. It's a big Victorian house nestled in the historic 4th and Gill neighborhood off Broadway. The second story ceiling was removed to make an open area bar with seating in the attic. There's always live music, with a bias towards blues, and pool tables downstairs. I've met a lot of out-of-towners who make it their mission to visit Sassy Ann's every time they're in Knoxville.

West end, from near to far

Everything in West Knoxville is on Kingston Pike, which runs parallel to I-40/I-75.

Melissa likes The Spot, which has a great patio for live music. Personally I don't like the frat boy/meat market vibe. 6915 Kingston Pike. From I-40/I-75, take the Papermill exit.

For an all out meat market, Michael's is apparently the place. I haven't been. Send me your field reports, Knoxville! 7049 Kingston Pike.

If you're not on a budget or have an expense account, Baker Peters Jazz Club has outstanding food, a martini menu, and live jazz upstairs. 9000 Kingston Pike. From I-40/I-75, take the Cedar Bluff exit, head south to Kingston Pike, and turn left. Baker Peters will be on your right at the traffic light.

Bailey's Sports Bar is always a fun place and the food is surprisingly good. Pool tables, darts, foosball and tabletop shuffleboard. 250 North Seven Oaks Drive, which is actually in a strip mall on Kingston Pike.

People apparently come from all over to visit Cotton-Eyed Joe, described as "America's #1 Country Dance Club." I haven't been, but I'll dutifully venture in one day and file a report. Then again, now that you know it's "America's #1 Country Dance Club" you probably have all the information you need to decide if you'll like it. At the Lovell Road exit on I-40. UPDATE: Josh Mills writes: "Go there on family night. That is when (and I know this sounds strange on a family night thing) the ladies come out. AND THE LADIES DO COME OUT IN FORCE!"

Knoxville Night Life Links

• Knox Dining - Restaurant reviews
• Metro Pulse - Everything good in Knoxville: restaurant reviews, events, movies, and a definitive Entertainment Calendar with music listings.

Here in Knox Vegas

The Knoxville News-Sentinel looks at Tennessee Bloggers. I had no idea that South Knox Bubba's identity was unknown (not that I know who he is).

Our house wasn't affected by the tornadoes last week. We didn't so much as lose power or even have a tree limb blown down. One advantage of living on a ridge, I guess. Jim and Wendy weren't so lucky. They live off of Old Knoxville Highway (nee Maryville Pike) and trees knocked down their power lines. The good news is that KUB had their power back by Saturday afternoon.

Melissa and I were at work when the bad weather hit. At my office we lost power at work around 5:00. With no power, the phone switch went dead and we lost the land lines. Melissa and I kept in touch by cell phone. At work, we plugged my radio into Teddy's UPS and tuned to WIVK to get updates on the tornado's progress. Eventually we had to shut down our desktops and servers before the batteries in the uninterruptable power supplies gave out. Everyone got home safe, and there were no fatalities anywhere in Knoxville.

Here's a little something to celebrate our good fortune!

How to Make a Southern Hurricane

All Tennessee, All the Time

At the risk of alienating non-Tennessee residents (AKA foreigners), this is Tennessee Blogging, two days in a row.

Rich at Shots Across the Bow hosts the Volunteer Tailgate Party, featuring the best of the Rocky Top Brigade. This gave me a chance to visit Frank Cagle's blog, which I now like a lot. A lot of the coverage is focused on Tennessee, but national readers will enjoy his take on Tennesse Senator (and now Senate Majority Leader) Bill Frist.

As a new member of the exalted Brigade, I didn't realize I was supposed to suggest one of my owns posts. Rich chose my Dragon's Run piece, which is one of my better posts, particularly for its Jack Kerouac "I shot a penny postcard across the country and asked me aunt for another fifty" cadence:

The drive took us through Highway 129, including the infamous stretch known as the Dragon's Run, which I mentioned in the Townsend traveller's guide. In 11 miles the road convulses through 318 sick turns that attract driving enthusiasts, and especially sport bikes. We got to see some great motorcycle riding, and a stream of Honda SR2000s that were touring the mountains. If you're prone to carsickness, take Dramamine. One of our intrepid travellers puked at around turn number 210.

SouthKnoxBubba has created a Rocky Top Brigade Bulletin Board.

Forest Hills Church update. The

Forest Hills Church update. The Underground Church page has been taken down, but SouthKnoxBubba found a Google cache of same.

Secret City Sister blogs on the Oak Ridge Mall:

We in Oak Ridge have a Dead Mall. The only two flourishing businesses down in that shopping center very wisely decided not to be physically attached to the mall proper. Thus, the rot that killed the mall has not spread to their healthy limbs. The movie theater---well, that was so it could get parking on more sides of it, I think. But the Super Wal-Mart---that was more of Sam's savvy, I suspect.

Jay and I were in Oak Ridge one day and stopped in the mall. It was like ground zero of a neutron bomb explosion. The building is still there, but all the people are gone. I'd estimate that a half to two thirds of the retail space is empty. Skippy called it the Dirt Mall.

The Volokh Conspiracy points to a difference between Arabs and Israelis. Another difference that's often cited: the Israelis have the capability to kill all of the Palestinians if they wanted, but they don't. The Palestinians would kill all of the Israelis if they had the capability, but they don't. That's why giving the Palestinians their own state where they could develop that capability is mad.

SayUncle points to more journalist ignorance of firearms. The NRA needs to organize events to teach journalists about guns. Rifles for Reporters, maybe, or Handguns for Hacks. Bullets for Bloggers?

A Nashville rally to encourage Al Gore to run in 2004 drew "just over 100 people."

Bill Hobbs predicts that the state of Tennessee will meet its revenue goals.

Clayton Cramer has posted part 9 of his series on accumulating wealth, and has started an archive of the series.

James Lileks on JFK assassin nut James Fetzer's nutty views on Israel.

I haven't had a reason to mention it on the blog before, but I've studied the JFK assassination a fair bit. After reading a number of pro-conspiracy books I read Gerald Posner's anti-conspiracy book, "Case Closed," and followup material. I came to the conclusion that Oswald, acting alone, shot Kennedy from the Texas Schoolbook Depository, pretty much like the Warren Commission described it.

Modern JFK researches have one major nit to pick with the commission's findings: the first shot occured much earlier than the commission described, and is closer to Zapruder frame 155 or 160 than 190. Evidence for an earlier shot includes President Kennedy and Governor Connally turning towards the depository, "jiggle" in Zapruder's film, and 10-year old Rosemary Willis - who had been running - who dramatically slows and comes to a complete stop by Zapruder frame 190. Instead of shooting three rounds in 5.6 seconds, Oswald actually shot three rounds in 8 seconds, which is much easier. With those extra seconds, it's all the more plausible that Oswald could get off all three shots without a conspirator.

For lots of good anti-conspiracy material, see John McAdams' site. You can also search McAdams' site for excellent debunking of Fetzer. I ran across Fetzer's JFK conspiracy books before, and found them implausible on their face. Fetzer also thinks the moon landings were faked. He's one of those guys.

Three Reasons I'm Proud of Knoxville: Guns, Trucks, and Breasteseses

Nippits are "nipple concealment devices" for women of fashion. From World of Longmire:

According to the Birmingham Business Journal, Knoxville is soon to have a new entry in its long-beleaguered apparel industry. A company called Nippits, Inc., manufactures special adhesive tape that helps fashionable ladies in thin dresses conceal their nipples from unwanted detection. The Nippit has reportedly already been worn by some of the most fabulously breasted women of Hollywood, including Julia Roberts, Jennifer Lopez, and Angelina Jolie, and by Carrie-Anne Moss in the new sequels to The Matrix. Developer Sheila Johnson, a Birmingham entrepreneur and former model, and her physician husband Kraig Johnson have reportedly bought "manufacturing capacity at a factory in Knoxville, Tenn." They have sold more than 300,000 of the accessories at $5-10 per five-pair pack.

Longmire is a twisted bastard. I like him already.

U.S. Internet alum Hillary Meyer reports that Idleaire got Slashdotted yesterday. They're a local Knoxville company that makes trucking terminals that provide truck cabs with air conditioning, heating, Internet access, phone lines, cable TV and AC power so that the truck's engine doesn't have to idle all night. The company was founded by some of the same people who started U.S. Internet. Fellow U.S. Internet alum Chris Range of Celtic Grove announces a possible new direction for the startup:

Stay on the lookout for new licensed products including Idleaire Pull-Ups. They're absorbant, disposable pull-up underwear for bigger kids suffering from enuresis and nighttime incontinence. Plus they have the added benefit of in-pants air conditioning, Internet access and electrification.

Jay was saying the other day how a .410 pistol would be cool. The Thunder Five is a five-shot, .410 bore revolver made in Piney Flats, Tennessee.

Technically, Piney Flats is one county over, but Knoxville has its own gun-making history. According to Ian Hogg's "Illustrated Encyclopedia of the World's Firearms," a Knoxville firm known as Commando Arms Incorporated used to make a Thompson submachine gun clone called the Commando. Starke Patteson tells me that there's currently a Knoxville company who manufacturers gun barrels for Winchester, and is now tooling up for their own guns.

Hurricane Bill

The remnants of Hurricane Bill are rolling through Tennessee. Here's a picture I snapped on Pellissippi Parkway. Click for the full-sized image.

PS The cable modem works great now that a Charter lineman came out and made adjustments at the pole. Blogger Pro is intermittent, and now the Mac G3 is intermittent, but I'm moving to Movable Type and shopping for new laptops so who cares? I'm ditching Macs after 15 years and one book and going Wintel. The Toshiba Portege 3500 is looking mighty good.

In Praise of Lost Buildings

MetroPulse's Jack Neely kicks more ass when he weighs in on Knoxville's most important icons. Bonus: did you know that the Fountain City Duck Pond was once just an adjunct to a hotel?

The duck pond is, in fact, all that remains of the three-story Fountain Head Hotel, an extravagantly luxurious, alcohol-free resort which was widely known and very nearly gave temperance a good name. Fountain City was "where the morals are as pure as the bracing atmosphere and life-giving water," and to emphasize that sentiment, in 1891 they built a large pond in front of the hotel. Tradition has it that it's roughly heart-shaped because Fountain City had a reputation among Knoxvillians as a place for the young and sober to fall in love.

Well, the hotel was nice while it lasted, with running water in all the rooms from clear First Creek, but in the more practical 20th century it became a sanitarium, and then burned to the ground. The duck pond, and the name Hotel Avenue, are all that remain.

It sucks how old stuff tends to, like, ya know, burn to the ground and stuff. Jay and I went to summer camp at YMCA Camp Montvale. It was once the grounds of Montvale Springs, where the elite would travel to the sulfur-infused springs to recoup. It was there that Sidney Lanier wrote his book, "Tiger Lilies." Of Montvale Springs, he wrote:

What an assemblage of facilities for enjoyment. I have up here in the mountains, -- kinsfolk, men friends, women friends, books, music, wine, hunting, fishing, billiards, tenpins, chess, eating, mosquitoless sleeping, mountain scenery, and a month of idleness.

(The description reminds me of one in "Cold Mountain," which I don't have handy right now, of the soldiers and Indians living a life of ease in the mountains after the Civil War. )

There are several remains of the hotel at Camp Montvale. One is the stone steps of the hotel's entrance, which are adjacent to the flag pole. Also visible are the twin house - a symmetrical building - and the clay house, which was the staff lounge when I was a counselor-in-training in 1985.

Downtown Parking in Knoxville

From WATE-TV via SaysUncle:

Starting Thursday, the 2,300 parking spaces in the Civic Coliseum garage will be free. Motorists can a free shuttle from the coliseum to most areas of downtown. The wait should be no longer than 10 minutes. It's part of the city's "Unparalleled Parking" program, lasting through the end of September.

Beginning October 1st, parking at the Civic Coliseum garage will cost $15 a month. It will be open weekdays from 6:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.

Tennessee Bloggers Roundup

This was originally a roundup of Knoxville bloggers, but I wanted to include Donald Sensing and Bill Hobbs. Instead of paying their moving expenses, I expanded the scope to all of Tennessee.

Donald Sensing is covering discontent in the 3rd Infantry Division, which hasn't returned from Iraq despite repeated promises.

Bill Hobbs is the lone voice calling attention to the military coup in Sao Tome and the Bush administration's efforts to restore the government. "The United States, as well as Nigeria, Mozambique, Portugal and France joined U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan in condemning the coup."

Katie Allison Granju from Loco Parentis has a great parenting article in Metropulse:

In thinking about that riddle, I was reminded yet again of how upside-down I find much of millennial, Western child rearing to be. I think we have it backwards in our culture: we don't allow babies much of a babyhood, but we treat our older children and teenagers like babies for far too long.

Rich Hailey has a new picture up this week that's much less frightening than the old one.

Bonus! Don't miss SouthKnoxBubba's criticisms of George Bush, and Rich's response. Fight! Fight! Fight! And where they agree on points, you know Bush has a problem.

Glenn "InstaPundit" Reynolds has a great summary of electronic voting issues at TechCentralStation and the one solution that's clear to any right-thinking person: paper ballots. The only disadvantage is that it takes longer to tabulate the results, so the elections may not be decided by the 11:00 news. As Glenn points out, with lawsuits and recounts over electronic ballots, even that advantage is eroding.

And the award for best new Knoxville blogger goes to...

Bugly! As they say in German, read der whole ding, but especially the Rug Doctor Letters. I was crying I was:

I was kinda curious if the "Rug Doctor" is recognized as having earned a doctorate by any accreditted university. I have found through research that a number of so called "Doctors" are not, in fact, "Doctors". Its not a big deal or anything, I just like to know this kinda stuff. I recently used your product, actually this weekend, after my wife inadvertently fed our jack russell terrier "Gerald" some chili. Believe me, there was no confusing with what made "Gerald" sick.

Anyway, does the "Rug Doctor" fall into the same catagory as Dr. J and Dr. Chapstick? If this is true, I am cool with it. I still like your product. I just don't want to be in some conversation with a person I am trying to impress and make the mistake on commenting on the validity as to whether or not the "Rug Doctor" is actually a real "Doctor".

He's going to show me the Rug Doctor shirt they sent him next week. You may also enjoy Rectos and the Chevy P3rv3rt Van, or at least reading about them:

Not to be outdone by Ford and Chrysler's recent success in re-releasing models previously retired, Chevy is going to bring back the 1977 classic cargo van. Details are still emerging, but early word has it that it will either be called the Chevy P3rv3rt or the Kidnap Cargo Van. Dealers will be required to conduct a full background investigation on all potential buyers.

I've told Bubba about him, and I hope he'll be in the Brigade soon.

And the award for best all-around Knoxville blogger this week goes to...

SayUncle, who is on fire lately. High points this week include gun rights, the strange situation at Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center, the tough situation Alphecca is in being gay and a gun advocate, and his entry for Jay Caruso's challenge:

You're a political consultant. However, you're going to be consulting for your ideological opposite. You're a Democrat at heart but you're trying to get your Republican candidate elected and vice versa. We'll make this easier by putting it on a national scale and pretend we're trying to win the Presidency. What strategy would you employ to get your candidate in office?

I need to get in on this action, yes I do.

Knoxville Loses a Great Radio Station

100.3 FM "The River" is shutting down on Thursday. It was the number four station in town. Just two years ago they were number 11. A change to the Triple A format brought them legions of new listeners. Citadel bought 100.3 and its sister channels and decided The River's format didn't fit the company's needs, so they're closing the station, despite protests from local fans and musicians. More background info is available at Save 100.3 The River

Melissa and I have our clock radio tuned to The River. We don't get out of bed until we've heard David Henley News or the Frank Files, and we love Phil Williams and "Dr. Phil." You guys are the most human voices on Knoxville radio.

The River is one of the few stations that promotes local concerts. You've been sponsors and enthusiastic promoters of the free Sundown in the City concert series and Rockin' on the River. We also appreciate that 100.3 is the home of Titans Radio, House of Blues, E-Town, and the Americana Cafe.

The morning crew has been worried about the loss of the files on their web site. Some of those files will be available on the Internet Archive. Here's a link to what's currently available at Archive.org. I hope that helps a little.

To Dave, Frank, and Phil: we love you, we hope to hear from you again soon, and remember that it wasn't you, it was the suits. You guys have heard of Murphy's Law: if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. There's another one called Herblock's Law: if it's any good, they'll quit making it. The River is good, and so are you.

Best wishes,
Les and Melissa Jones
Louisville, TN

River Rescue?

The future of 100.3 The River is still uncertain, but it's a little less so now. In response to 10,000 calls and emails, the new owners have decided to keep the format. It's still unclear which employees will stay on. It's also possible that the name will change.

I hope the management realizes that those 10,000 calls and emails weren't because listeners loved the format. The people at the station are more important to us than the format.

See Tuesday's post for background, and for the letter Melissa and I sent to the station.

River Update: an Email from Frank Murphy

When the clock radio sounded this morning, 100.3 The River was still broadcasting, but without Phil Williams, Frank Murphy and David Henley. Someone was there to give the FCC-mandated station indentification, but that was it.

We knew that the crew wouldn't be back immediately, but we hoped they would be back eventually. This afternoon I received this letter from Frank Murphy which doesn't paint a rosy picture:

Les & Melissa,

Thanks for the kind words. I had a great time working at The River. It
ended too soon. Today I'm starting my search for a new on-air job. I would
love to find a job in East Tennessee. My family and I are happy here and
want to stay.

I truly appreciate your support. Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,
Frank Murphy

Frank came to Knoxville from Los Angeles. Once he settled in, his family moved to Knoxville and they bought a house here, so he can't just hop on an airplane and leave. I wish him luck.

Don't Damn the River is another source of breaking news.

In Search of Efes Beer in Knoxville

Does anyone know where to get Efes Turkish beer in Knoxville? Melissa and I had it in New York and liked it a bunch.

LATER: We stopped by Sam's Party Store after the UT game hoping he'd have it. No luck. What he did have was some darned fine Wurzburger Oktoberfest </obligatory German spelling>.

I love me some Octoberfest. The sadly defunct New Knoxville Brewing Company had a great one that I drank at the Black Mountain music festival with Al Cruzen, one of the company's founders. He had a pup tent set up with two kegs of the stuff. Drink all you want. Good times. Al's brother is also a brewmaster and a nice guy. It must run in the family.

Does anyone know why Octoberfests aren't made year round? I hate sitting in front of the calendar 11 months out of the year, crossing out dates as the season slowly approaches.

Knoxville Bars and the Next Blogger Bash

Josh Mills found my guide to Knoxville bars. He writes:

I have lived in Knoxville for 24 years and just moved to Lexington, KY and I want to say a few things about this article. Sorry about my unprofessionalism but I am going to get straight down to business. So Toddy's is not worth a description? I mean, how many bars are built upstairs from a liquor store? How many bars let drunk people throw horseshoes? That is my complaint.

Update on Cotton-Eyed Joes: go there on family night. That is when (and I know this sounds strange on a family night thing) the ladies come out. AND THE LADIES DO COME OUT IN FORCE!

And while I'm at it, Michael's... Meat market? Couldn't have said it better my self. Young guy meets recent divorcee and sex ensues. That is Michael's. Anyway, I like your articles. Thanks.

Thanks, Josh. I've added your advice on Cotton-Eyed Joes to the guide. Still haven't been there. Could be a good place for an RTB blogger bash.

Speaking of which, the next RTB blogger bash will be Friday, September 5 at the Charlie Pepper's at Deane Hill. Thanks to Rich Hailey for putting it together.

Sullivan's in Maryville

Melissa and I ate at the new Sullivan's building in downtown Maryville.

The architecture is fantastic. It's a two-story room, defined with drop ceilings, raised seating areas, railings, and an upstairs banquet room. It reminded us a little of the brewpub in downtown Knoxville.

The menu includes steak and seafood, but there are reasonably-priced blue plate specials. Melissa had catfish and I had a vegetable plate. The catfish was delicious, and was browned just right. Someone's cooking school tuition was well spent. We didn't have any drinks, but Cecil and a fellow we met while walking around town afterwards both praised the bartenders.

The green beans were cooked with pork and were delicious. The mashed potatoes come with your choice of chicken, mushroom, or pot roast gravy. We liked the pot roast gravy better than the chicken.

Sullivan's is right next door to the renovated Palace Theater. It's in the old downtown JC Penney's building. The retailer's name is spelled out in tilework in the floor as you enter.

JC Penney's migration around town tells the story of retail in this town. During the downtown flight in the '60s and '70s, they moved to Midland shopping center, a huge strip mall just down the road. When Foothills Mall was built in the '80s, they moved there. Wynn's sporting goods now occupies the old JC Penney's building in Midland. You can tell by the black, white, and blue tile at the entrance.

Proffitt's department store made the same migration. I'm not sure if everyone knows it, but Proffitt's started in Maryville. The downtown store that currently sells educational products was the first Proffitt's. They eventually became a national chain, bought Saks, and took the Saks name, leading some people to think that Saks bought Proffitt's, when in fact it was the other way around.

We walked down to the construction site for the new Maryville municipal facility. To expand, the city tore down a number of commercial buildings, and several streets worth of houses. We were shocked to discover that they had also taken the playground and backlot building of St Andrew's Episcopal Church. In fact, it looks like the only boundary for the city's construction was the church itself and the graveyard. I can understand that the city needed to expand, but the church shouldn't have been intruded on. It outlasted the old municipal building, and is likely to outlast the new one.

TN Campaign Finance Laws

Bill Hobbs is covering the new study that gives Tennessee an "F" on its campaign finance disclosure laws. Researchers ranked Tennessee 46th in the nation.

I heard on the radio that Tennessee is second in the nation for fire-related death rate. Like we say around here: thank goodness for Mississippi. In response, the state has an initiative to install 24,000 fire detectors, mostly in day-care centers and the homes of senior citizens.

Brushy Mountain Prison

Via SayUncle comes news that Tennessee may close Brushy Mountain prison to build a newer, larger facility. The driving force is economic: Brushy Mountain, a maximum security facility, is currently the most expensive prison in the state system.

The new facility will be at a different location, which will almost certainly be less secure. The current prison is set in a natural bowl surrounded by mountains that make escape difficult. James Earl Ray served his sentence there for the assassination of civil rights leader Martin Luther King. Ray tried to escape in 1977, but was caught in the forest 55 hours later. National media at the time described the area surrounding the prison as "snake-infested rugged mountain terrain."

SayUncle says that family legend has it that his great grandfather's brother was the first man to escape from Brushy Mountain. I can't match that, but I have seen the prison while hiking. If you go to Frozen Head State Park and Natural Area in Wartburg, Tennessee, you can hike to the top of Old Mac Mountain. At the top of the mountain you can climb a firetower and look down into the prison. It really is set into a bowl, with mountains on all sides.

Review of Smokin' Joes BBQ

Jay and I decided to try Smokin' Joes BBQ in Maryville. Once we were seated, Jay asked for an ashtray, only to find out that this is one barbecue joint that doesn't tolerate the evil weed of tobacco.

The waiter asked for our drinks, and I ordered a beer, only to find out that this is one barbecue joint that doesn't tolerate demon rum. Demon beer. Whatever.

We split. Thus endeth my first review of Smokin' Joes BBQ.

Lisa told us that Joe's has a permit now, so we tried it again tonight. Sure enough, Joe's now has demon beer. Also Anheuser-Busch and Miller products.

They still don't allow the evil weed, which just goes to show that some vices are more vicious than others. My alcohol consumption is sociable and light-hearted, like female nudity. Jay's tobacco consumption is offensive and disgusting, like male nudity.

Speaking of offensive, Smokin' Joes BBQ serves dinner rolls instead of hushpuppies, and they don't put enough sauce on the pulled pork. The cole slaw, however, was charming and delightful, like female nudity.

Mindy Smith to be on Jay Leno

Melissa's friend Mindy Smith will be on Jay Leno's show Thursday night to perform "Jolene" with Dolly Parton.

Mindy recorded the song as part of a new Dolly tribute album. Other artists on the disc include Emmylou Harris, Melissa Etheridge, Norah Jones, and Sinead O'Connor. Mindy's song was the first single and first video from the CD, which is amazing since she's the least known of the bunch.

Mindy used to live in Knoxville, where she performed at open mic nights. She moved to Nashville a few years ago to start her career.

Bowen Classic Arms in Louisville, TN

I have an interest in guns, and a special interest in guns manufactured here in Tennessee. By a mysterious succession of links I ran across Bowen Classic Arms. It's not just a Tennessee company, it's a Louisville, Tennessee company, located in my own zip code. They re-manufacture classic revolvers and rifles, from Colts to Rugers and Smith &Wessons.

Mindy Smith

We saw Mindy Smith and Dolly Parton on Jay Leno's show last night. (See this post for background.) Mindy sounded great. Melissa says it's the first time she's ever seen Mindy wearing makeup. Her web site is right here. You can follow this link to vote for her video on CMT.

Dolly was incredible. Not just the singing, but the whole package. She looks fantastic at 60, is a bundle of energy, and managed to crack jokes that made Leno laugh.

Stan Brock in Metro Pulse

This week's Metro Pulse has an article about Stan Brock, the original animal wrangler on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, one-time B-movie star, and founder of Remote Area Medical.

Brock founded Remote Area Medical here in Knoxville to provide volunteer medical, dental and veterinary services to remote areas in the United States and South America. The medical personnel all donate their time.

I met Stan a few years ago when I did some work on the Remote Area Medical web site. (The site has since had some design changes that I uh, don't approve of, so it's out of my portfolio.)

When I was editing some of his pictures for the site, he asked me if I could crop out part of one picture (a water buffalo head or some such, as I recall). I said sure. "In fact, if there's anything else you need edited, just let me know. I can make your eyes bluer or give you the big breasts you've always wanted." That got a laugh.

There are two things everyone notices about Brock. One is his physique, which is still impressive. I hope to look that good in my sixties. The other thing is the British accent. Somehow it just takes you by surprise.

Two more Knoxville tie-ins: Brock was in a film produced by Art Lavidge, of local advertising firm Lavidge and Associates (another of my old clients). When the movie premiered in Knoxville at the old Capri Cinema, Brock put his footprints (or was it handprints?) in the cement there. You can see it next to the now-defunct Terrace Tap House.

Things To Do This Weekend

So much good stuff going on this weekend.

- Brewer's Jam Saturday from 3:00 to 9:00 at the World's Fair Park.
- Foothills Fall Festival on the Greenbelt Park in Maryville.
- Greekfest Thursday through Saturday at St George Greek Orthodox Church in Knoxville. Mmmm... tzatsiki sauce.
- CJ's post reminded me that this is the weekend for the fall LEAF (Lake Eden Arts Festival) in Black Mountain, North Carolina (roughly two hours from Knoxville). Three days of camping, music, food, and late night drum circles in the beautiful Western North Carolina mountains. That is some good fun.

Author David Brill to Speak

Author and University of Tennessee journalism professor David Brill will speak at the Blount County Public Library Tuesday, October 28, 7:00 pm. Brill is the author of As Far as the Eye Can See, his account of through-hiking the Appalachian Trail, and his newest book, Desire &Ice: A Search for Perspective Atop Denali, his account of climbing that peak. I've read the former and I'm looking forward to reading the latter.

I met David a dozen years ago when he spoke to UT's Naturalist Club (now defunct). He's a good guy, a good speaker, and a good writer. I'll be there. Last time we took David out for a beer afterwards, and I'm betting we can talk him into it this time. I'm thinking the Bull Pen on Gill Street.

Greek-Italian Village Restaurant

When the two Kalamata Kitchen locations closed, Knoxville was left without a Greek restaurant. Now the Greek-Italian Village Restaurant is open in the former Kalamata space in Farragut. Good news.

Clergy and Atheists Need Not Apply in Tennessee

Some area counties are considering resolutions proclaiming "God as the foundation of our national heritage." In the comments at SayUncle, Mike Hollihan posted this excerpt from Tennessee's Constitution:

§ 1. Clergy; eligibility to serve in legislature
Whereas Ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no Minister of the Gospel, or priest of any denomination whatever, shall be eligible to a seat in either House of the Legislature.

§ 2. Atheists holding office
No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this State.

So you can't be an atheist, but you can't be a preacher. Interesting stuff. Tom Girsch pointed to Article I, Section 4, which forbids religious tests or oaths for holding pubic office. That would seem to make the atheist part hard to determine:

§ 4. Political or religious test
That no political or religious test, other than an oath to support the Constitution of the United States and of this State, shall never be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under this State.

Article 1, Section 3 of the Tennessee Constitution is an establishment clause preventing the state from favoring one religion over another. It might make the proposed resolutions unconstitutional even at the state level:

§ 3. Freedom of worship
That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience; that no man can of right be compelled to attend, erect, or support any place of worship, or to maintain any minister against his consent; that no human authority can, in any case whatever, control or interfere with the rights of conscience; and that no preference shall ever be given, by law, to any religious establishment or mode of worship.

That also contradicts those other parts of the state constitution quoted above. No foolish consistency here.

Knoxville Gun Shows in November

The RK Gun Show is November 21-23 at the Knoxville Expo Center. I'm going, and Jay and Starke are onboard, too. Uncle: if you want to go, let me know.

The Mike Holloway Gun Show is November 29-30 at the Jacob Building in Chilhowee Park.

I'm helping Melissa with an ASP project, so no more blogging tonight. Tune in Thursday.

Philthy Fulmer?

The rumor I heard through a well-placed bookie is that UT head coach Phil Fulmer may resign because of an affair and a pregnant mistress. Googling for "phil fulmer pregnacy," the first hit goes to fellow RTBer CJ, who works for a local news station. CJ says it's not true.

On October 31 The Knoxville News-Sentinel reported a denial from the UT Men's Athletic Department about the resignation. The subject of an affair was never mentioned, even though the rumor was going around on October 30.

As CJ says, at this point it's just a baseless rumor.

PC Battle at UT

Adam Groves is covering the Issue Committee fight at UT. The committee disburses $90,000 a year for guest speakers, almost all of them of a liberal persuasion. A conservative committee member has resigned in protest.

This isn't just happening at the University of Tennessee. David Horowitz and FIRE have been exposing the calcified liberalism and suppression of dissenting opinions at college campuses for years. Free clue for the Issues Committee: diversity isn't just about ethnicity or nationality. It's also about ideology.

No More Weigel's Jugs

SayUncle reports that Knoxville dairy farm and convenience store chain Weigel's will no longer use their returnable milk jugs. They've gone disposable.

There's a Weigel's on my way home from work and we often buy milk there. With the jug trade-in, a gallon of milk was just $1.99. And Weigel's Skim D'Lite is possibly the best skim milk anywhere. We even had the handy yellow snap-on pourspout for the jugs. Wow. It's so sad to see those cheery jugs go away.

PC Battle at UT, Part 2

The UT College Republicans have posted the complete text of the Issues Committee emails. That includes the email that includes the most incediary sentence: "If you see one of those ragheads, shoot him right in the f*cking face." Sounds sinister, but if you read the entire email, it's obviously a parody of what the writer thinks is the Bush administration's attitude. This is the complete email:

we shouldn't let those damn terrorists try to destroy our freedom. let's show the axis of evil that we will not be broken, that we will not shudder in fear or back down, that the values of our forefathers set forth for the issues committee of the university of tennessee will live on and continue to push us forward. if we allow ourselves to be angry or hesitate in any way, then the terrorists have won. instead, let's wave the banner of "the thinker" all over the city of knoxville. on the library, our our cars, on the humanities bridge, and on pieces of tp stuck to our shoes. and if you see one of those ragheads, shoot him right in the fucking face.

love,
your president - er - justin

Unfortunately for the writer, irony doesn't play well in excerpts. That email is the one that's getting the most attention, but it's the least important. The other emails posted on the site are far more damaging. They show a cliqueish bureaucracy that's petty, hateful, and vindictive.

But don't think that I am so calm. My first words this morning in my lab were: THAT SON OF A B*$%!! And don't think I don't want to smote him with my superior intellect and haughtiness. And I do know the different between Carlson and Coulter: the former has a penis, the latter has a vagina. - Warren D.

fortunately someone brought a beacon to work today, so i got to see our GLORIOUS front page coverage of carlson. i was disappointed to see that the issues committee wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article, but nevertheless it was great coverage. apparently the guy who wrote the article is aware of his mistake and he has apologized for not mentioning the small detail of HOW tucker came to the university

unfortunately my thirst to see the issues committee's name in print was satisfied on page five. like most of you, i spent much of my day drafting a letter to the editor in response to the piece. however, i probably spent more time thinking about what a little brat this guy is and what i would do to him given the chance--torture that would put the spanish inquisition to shame, etc--but ultimately i don't think it would do any good. he simply isn't worth any more of our time. -owen

Over the weekend, the College Republicans collected signatures for a petition. UT Dean of Students J.J. Brown tried to have them removed from campus. Adam Groves has the story.

KKK Member Shot in Initiation Ceremony

Another proud day in Tennessee history. Sheesh. Link

Johnson City, TN - A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said.

Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment in the Saturday night incident that wounded Jeffery S. Murr, 24.

About 10 people, including two children, had gathered for the ceremony. The man who was being initiated was blindfolded, tied with a noose to a tree and shot with paintball guns as Freeman fired a pistol in the air to provide the sound of real gunfire, Sheriff Fred Phillips said.

Hey, guys, there are these things called blanks. They're not even expensive. Wait, what am I saying? This guy was joining the KKK. Keep using real bullets, guys. Carry on.

Bonus! The guy who pulled the trigger is in jail. That's two birds with one stone as far as I'm concerned.

Exotic Plants in Knoxville

Terri Killeffer sends along this story about the fight to control exotic pests on Knoxville greenways. (Standard News-Sentinel warning: this online story will self-destruct in no time at all, so read it soon.)

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, invasive plant infestations cover about 100 million acres and are spreading at a rate of 14 percent a year, an area twice the size of Delaware.

During a recent walk along Knoxville's Third Creek Greenway, Ranney stopped at a junction where the railroad tracks, the path and Third Creek converged. The list of exotics at this site included mimosa trees, privet, Japanese honeysuckle and kudzu, just to name a few.

I've been trying to eradicate mimosas around my house for years, but it's like trying to kill Mr. Magoo. I spray Roundup on them, but I think it just gets them high. After that they burn incense and put Phish on the stereo. Then they make sweet love and have little baby mimosas.

Knoxville Civil War Documentary

WUOT broadcast a great radio documenary on Saturday: Two Flags, One City: Knoxville's Civil War. The show covers the Battle of Knoxville and the larger issue of Knoxville's role in the Civil War.

East Tennessee had few slaves and voted against secession. The Confederacy more or less occupied this part of the state to keep it from going Union.

The president of the Knoxville Civil War Roundtable is interviewed on the show, and gives a telling vignette. As a child she knew one of her ancestors fought in the war, and thought of herself as a young Scarlett O'Hara. When she finally found her relative's papers, she discovered that he had fought for the USA rather than the CSA as she had assumed.

That's a pretty common story. I have a friend from Carter County who had four ancestors who fought in the war. He tends to naturally identify with the Southern states, but three of those four relatives fought for the North. Another friend knows he had one ancestor who died in the war. The ancestor never served in the military; he was a farmer in Cades Cove who was killed by Confederate soldiers who were stealing one of his cows.

Tennessee Among Best-Prepared for Bioterror

Tennessee was tied for first place among the 50 states in its ability to handle a bioterrorism attack.

Tennessee tied with California, Maryland and Florida for the top score in the report by Trust for America's Health, a Washington-based nonprofit. Tennessee and the other states that topped the list met seven out of 10 public health goals measured by the Trust.

Prescription Drug Benefit? Look to Tennessee

A study finds that prescription drugs are the fastest-growing part of TennCare, Tennessee's free healthcare plan. Via SouthKnoxBubba.

The state provides more pharmacy benefits than most other states and smaller co-payments. Drug costs are projected to be responsible for 56 percent of the growth in TennCare total costs by 2008 under the mid-range scenario.

That jibes with the United Kingdom's experience with prescription drug plans.

Emissions Laws Being Considered

Today's Knoxville News-Sentinel reports that 11 East Tennessee counties are considering emissions testing laws to comply with Federal guidelines. Knox County's plan won't test tractor trailers, and probably won't test motorcycles.

Tennessee Drops Tax On Internet Access

Tennessee has eliminated tax on Internet service effective February 1. However, our ISP bills may not go down any:

Previously, Internet providers could buy telecommunications services sales-tax-free if they passed them onto customers who paid sales tax.

With customers not paying sales taxes, providers will be required to pay sales tax on the telecommunications services themselves.

"We'll have to increase cost to match the amount that they would have paid," said Steve Siopsis, systems engineer for the Knoxville-based Internet service provider Virtual Interactive Center. But, he added, "It's not going to look like an increase because it's the same amount (as the bill with tax)."

Bryson said he may also raise prices because he'll now be adding $20,000 in telecommunications tax to his expenses rather than simply collecting sales tax from customers.

I've written before about Tennessee ISPs battling the state over sales tax on Internet service. One of the concerns we had at U.S. Internet was that if we collected taxes, we would have to refund the taxes later if the state reversed itself.

That's exactly what's happened now. You can request a refund of sales tax on Internet service going back three years. The request must be processed through your ISP. The state is putting the burden of refunds on the ISPs, who are supposed to issue the refunds, then get compensated by the state:

Bryson estimates Esper has collected more than $250,000 in sales tax over the past three years - as far back as the state will provide refunds. Most businesses, including his, don't have that kind of cash sitting around to refund up front, he said.

In addition, Bryson said if he provided the refund he'd have to pay sales tax on the telecommunications services he bought for the same period.

"I have to just politely tell my customers I cannot do this," he said. "The state of Tennessee has set up a plan where an ISP can refund money if they want to, but the terms are onerous."

Siopsis agreed, calling the refund process a "logistical nightmare."

This puts small ISPs in a cash crunch, and creates a huge accounting expense in tracking past tax paid by each customer. Ask me how much I miss being in the ISP business and I'll tell you "not a bit."

UPDATE: Joe Gray writes:

Here's the Tennessee Court of Appeals opinion:

Prodigy Services V. Ruth Johnson

Apparently the Tennessee legistlature struck the phrase "value added
networks" from the telecommunications tax back in 1993, and in doing so
effectively said they wouldn't tax internet access. Interesting, though,
that the court did this in April last year, and the Department of Revenue
waited nine months, said something this week, and said it takes effect
Sunday. I'd be fuming if I was an ISP.

Gov. Bredesen's Live Speech on TennCare Reform

I'm watching it on TV right now, and will update this post as his speech continues. I'm TiVoing it so I can rewind to grab quotes.

Some facts so far:

• TennCare growth will consume 91% of all state revenue growth by 2008 if left unchecked.
• TennCare costs more than the states educational system
• Just two drugs (have to rewind to get the names) account for a greater expense than the cost of running the UT Medical School.
• 15% of TennCare members represent 75% of the cost

More quick facts from the TV station overlay:

• Started in 1994 with a $3.2 billion budget.
• Current budget - $7.1 billion
• 64% from Federal funding
• 1.3 million enrollees, which includes 500,000 children. 23% of the state's population is enrolled in TennCare

Parts of Bredesen's position:

• Must protect children, pregnant mothers and the disabled
• Corruption and ineficiency have to be addressed, but increased efficiency alone can't fix the system
• More taxes can at best patch the system and delay reform for a few years, so he will not propose new taxes.
• Two safety nets. This is a long quote, but it's difficult to summarize and seems to be a key part of the plan. "As we put these benefit changes in place, we also need to provide safety nets. I'm proposing two of them. First, there'll be people from time to time who need some medical service that simply cannot pay. For emergencies of course a person can always go to the nearest emergency room and receive attention there as a matter of law. For non-emergency circumstances we're proposing to provide some funds to selected safety net hospitals with associated medical groups around our state and ask those hospitals to accept the responsibility to provide care without cost sharing. It's not as convenient for a beneficiary as using a private doctor or a local hospital or a pharmacy but it ensures that no one is ever denied care because of the inability to pay."
• At the end of his speech, Bredesen returned to his parable of the family who bought the biggest house in the neighborhood. They bought it with the best of intentions, but paying for it took all of their money, with nothing left for other important things in their life. They eventually realized that the house owned them, and decided to make a few sacrifices and live in a smaller house.

Afterwards

The speech was good, but light on details. For specifics, go to Phil Bredesen's TennCare Strategy page.

Some of the proposals outlined in the PowerPoint presentation (.PDF format) include:

• Some limits on the number of doctor and hospital visits (there currently are none)
• A limit of six prescriptions per month (there currently are no limits)
• Co-pays (most TennCare recipients currently do not have any co-pays)

Verizon Wireless in Blount County?

My cell phone has finally gone kaput. Faced with buying a new phone and signing a new contract I decided to shop different wireless plans to see if there's anything better than what I have. I never did that before because I would have had to change cell numbers, but number portability took care of that problem.

I currently use Sprint PCS and like them, but Consumer Reports ratings show Verizon Wireless way out in front in terms of coverage area and dropped calls. The people I know who have Verizon like it.

One problem I have had with Sprint is that it's terrible at my mom's house next to Maryville College. Lots of static, dropped calls, or flat-out missing service.

So here's the question for my homies: how's the Verizon coverage in Blount County, Tennessee?

Destroyed County Records

While researching property records I found this list of Tennessee county records that have been destroyed over the last 200 years. Fire was the main culprit. Tornadoes destroyed other records. Court houses in Stewart, Putnam and Monroe counties were razed or burned during the Civil War.

Knoxville Zombies

From Chris Range:

When Knoxville area Zombies are looking for a good time, what do they read?

Metropulseless.

Don’t ask. Let’s just say it was a long chat between Josh and I that went wrong.

Chemical Factory in Newport, Tennessee

Great Salon story about the dangerous chemicals found in Newport in the late '90s. Chemicals including phosgene gas and worse were stored improperly in leaking containers by a slightly mad chemist named Edward Tyczkowski. I vaguely recall the incident from back then, but the story fleshes out the details.

Hawkins was no stranger to toxic substances, but in 20 years of environmental work, he had never seen anything that frightened him as much as Tyczkowski's lab. "Nothing ever came close to this from a purely 'this will hurt you today' standpoint," he says. "I was shocked. I was scared. I was in a state of disbelief at all the things that he had. Some of this stuff was so far off the chart as far as being dangerous. It was just the worst of all nightmares."

Pellissippi Re-paving Starts April 12

I take Pellissippi Parkway to work from Blount County to West Knoxville. It's a gorgeous stretch of well-engineered highway, with long, gentle curves, a 70 MPH speed limit, few trucks, lakeside views, and not a billboard in sight. The 12 mile commute from my house to work passes only two traffic lights and takes all of 15 minutes.

I've been dreading the day Pellissippi would have to be re-surfaced, and now that day has come. Construction is supposed to commence on April 12 and continue through December 15. Link.

Buford Tune's Gun Classes in Nashville

AlphaPatriot has good things to say about classes at Nashville's Academy of Personal Protection and Security. He links to a writeup in The Tennesseean by a reporter who took Tune's class.

Kara Gregory 1913-2004

Jay's grandfather, Kara Gregory, passed away Wednesday in Maryville. He was one of the Cades Cove Gregorys for whom Gregory's Bald was named. The family took livestock up on the bald to graze in the summertime. Born in the cove in 1913, he was a young man when the Great Smoky Mountains National Park was founded in 1931. Bill Landry interviewed Kara (who pronounced his name "car uh") several times for The Heartland Series.

The Daily Times had a nice writeup in Thursday's paper.

Funeral service will be held at 8:00 p.m., Friday, April 16, 2004 at Miller Funeral Home Chapel, Rev. Rodney Hardin officiating. Interment will be at 9:30 a.m. Saturday at Grandview Cemetery. Family will receive friends 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Friday at Miller Funeral Home, Maryville.

Maples

I just had a neat experience. I was outside the house. Just bumming around. Playing with the cats, watching two robins flying around the wild grape vines. Then I heard a rustling sound.

I looked up, squinted into the lowering sun, and realized what I was hearing. The wind had picked up and was blowing the maturing maple seeds off one of our maple trees. As the dry seeds broke off the tree they rustled, then helicoptered to the ground in a quiet shower. Neat.

Powerball Lottery Blogging

Tennessee joined the multi-state Powerball lottery yesterday.

I've mentioned this next bit before, and decided to dig it up and key it into the computer for this occasion:

Andrew Tobias's advice if you win a million dollars

1. Go out for a very nice dinner.
2. Put about one year of normal living expenses someplace liquid, like a bank of money-market fund.
3. Put roughly equal sums into U.S. Treasury securities maturing in one, two, three, and four years.
4. Put the bulk of the remaining money into stock-index funds, split between domestic and foreign investments.
5. Buy a country place or a bigger house, if you want one - but not so big that the cost of carrying it will in any way strain you.
5a. If you have the inclination and can find a good value, buy a small rental property, too. It will provide an inflation hedge and a little tax shelter.
5b. Do not buy a boat. [Emphasis in original]
6. Put, at most, 5% into silver - bags of silver dimes minted back in the days when they really were silver - keeping most of it in a bank vault and one bag in a very good hiding place at home. (Call Investment Rarities, 800-328-1860, for a quote.) This is your rich person's disaster hedge - a form of insurance. Don't expect it to be a good investment. But if inflation hits with a vengeance, silver could do even better than gold. Historically, silver has risen 11% for every 1% increase in inflation, versus 6% for gold. And in the event of a calamity, it may be easier to buy a loaf of bread with an old silver dime than with a by-then $6,000 gold coin.
7. Be sure your will is in order.
8. Now, relax and forget the whole thing. Review it once a year, mainly to roll over your Treasury securities as they come due. Don't spend any of the investment prinicipal, but enjoy the extra income it throws off.

That's from Tobias's The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need. Good book. Tobias has a blog-like Web site that's worth reading, though it's become very political since Bush got elected.

Finally, Hell in a Handbasket has a lottery joke.

Double Standards for Home-schooled Kids

Money from Tennessee's new lottery goes to college scholarships for Tennessee high school students. So far, so good.

Thing is, the qualifications are different for home-schooled kids (who have to get a 23 on their ACT) and public- and privately- schooled kids (who only have to get a 19). In other words, there's a built-in bias against home-schooled kids to discourage home schooling. Via SayUncle.

Tennessee Scholarships

There's a move to change the criteria for Tennessee's new college scholarships. Currently, students have to have either a 3.0 GPA or an ACT score of 19 (23 for home-schooled kids). The new criteria would be based solely on GPA and would ignore ACT scores. The short-term result would be that fewer students would qualify for scholarships, freeing up money for pre-school education.

But how long would that last? Schools and parents both want the maximum number of kids to go to college with free scholarships. Parents, because they want their kids to go to college, preferably for free. Schools, because it looks good if a high percentage of their students go on to college.

So, if scholarships are based solely on GPA, what will happen? Right. Rampant grade inflation. There's a reason objective test scores exist, and it's to prevent that very thing from happening.

Link via Bubba.

Roadkill Good, Free Ice Cream Bad

Just heard on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. This week Ben and Jerry's had their free ice cream scoop giveaway, but shops in Tennessee were breaking the law in the process. Tennessee has a law on the books outlawing giving away free ice cream. On the other hand, Tennessee passed a law a few years ago making harvesting and eating road kill legal.

To recap: Rainforest Crunch illegal, Raccoon Crunch legal.

Wynn's and Elkmont Grill Closed

Two businesses in Maryville were shuttered when I was there today: Wynn's department store and Elkmont Grill.

Wynn's has been a Maryville fixture since I was a little kid. I bought my first fishing rod and rifle scope with my own money at their old location on Gill Street. I got there a little before 5:00 this afternoon to find the doors closed, the metal shutted lowered, and arts and crafts booths set up in their doorway as part of today's craft's fair at Midland Shopping Center.

I reviewed Elkmont Grill here. Opening paragraph:

Melissa and I ate at Elkmont Grill tonight. This wasn't casual dining; this was a dining Code Blue. This building had already claimed the lives of three restaurants - Friendly's, the Rib Crib, and Mashed Taters, all of which had disappeared so quickly we had never gotten to try them. Four facades later, we wanted to go to this one before it, too, went belly up.

Closing paragraph:

We liked our first visit. We're going back to explore the menu further, but we won't be in such a big hurry. We think this is one restaurant the building won't kill.

So much for my predictive powers.

Upcoming Knoxville Gun Shows

The Mike Holloway Gun Show in the Smokies at the newly-renovated Jacobs Building is May 22-23. Come experience the modern wonder of air conditioning. I plan on going if anyone's up for it.

The RK Gun Show at the Knoxville Expo Center is July 10-11.

Millennium Manor Open House on Memorial Day

Millennium Manor - the odd stone castle in Alcoa - has its annual open house on Memorial Day.

The stone and cement house was constructed using Roman techniques, and was meant to last 1000 years. The rooms have arched roofs. When we visited the Castillo San Marcos fort in St. Augustine we saw the same type of rooms and roofs.

This BlountWeb link is down at the moment, but it has the best information I've found. Here's a cached copy. This 1957 Maryville-Alcoa Daily Times story interviews builder and original owner W.A. Nicholson, and is the best source for his religious motivations for building the structure. Nicholson was 61 when he began construction, and worked on it in his spare time while working a full-time job at the aluminum plant.

This Oak Ridger story interviews the current owner, Knoxville firefighter and paramedic Dean Fontaine.

The manor is also known as Darby's Castle, after a Kris Kristofferson song. The Knoxville Grass re-recorded the song on their album of the same name, and used a picture of the manor for the album cover.

I went to the castle as a kid when the JayCees used it as a haunted house. Melissa and I toured it Memorial Day a couple of years ago and met the current owners. Admission was free, with donations encouraged. The manor is at 500 North Wright Road, not far from the duck pond.

Knoxville Convention Center

Bubba has the goods on State Street re-development plans in downtown Knoxville.

Here's the most amazing thing - the downtown convention center cost millions. Guess how many events are scheduled for June, 2000? Answer: one event. And notice that easy-to-remember domain, kccsmg.com. Those government types are real marketing whizes. It looks like the domain for a new kind of fertilizer.

Compare that to the schedule for the Knoxville Expo Center on Merchant's Drive, which was made from an old Kroger's building. Not only do they have more events, they got a better domain - knoxvilleexpocenter.com.

For those who don't know, the city wanted to condemn the downtown Holiday Inn to make way for a newer, larger hotel to accommodate all of the people coming downtown for conventions. The same people who now, mysteriously, aren't showing up because there aren't any events in the new convention center that was built with taxpayer money.

Skip through the upcoming months to see what's scheduled this summer. Notice that most of the events are things like the Austin High School Alumni Banquet and the Greater Knoxville Sports Hall of Fame Dinner &Introduction Ceremony. Jay was over for dinner and he noted that these are local events that bring zero dollars into the community. If the city hadn't built the convention center those events would have gone to local, privately-owned restaurants that weren't built with taxpayer money.

In other news, Knox County is implementing a wheel tax, and the city of Knoxville is raising property taxes. I'm sure it's all for a good cause.

Bijou Theater Reboots

The historic, financially-beleagured Bijou Theater is letting its staff go and cancelling all productions in order to start over.

To put an end to its seemingly perpetual money woes, the Bijou Board announced Monday that it intends to "mount a community fund-raising campaign to eliminate the $607,000 debt, another $183,000 in payables, and use any excess to start an endowment."

Thanks to a donation from Home Federal, the theater is out of arrears and is no longer in danger of foreclosure, as it had been a short while ago.

Steve Kaufman Guitar Camp Concerts

Steve Kaufman's guitar camp is in session at Maryville College. Kaufman is a three-time winner of the National Flatpicking Championship, has numerous CDs, and founded this annual music camp that draws noted guitarists from around the world.

Check the schedule to find your favorite. The last night is always fun as they hand out awards for the best students, with each one playing a few songs. I'd also recommend the Thursday night show with the Italian guitarist Beppe Gambatta. Beppe is consistently good year after year.

This is a little video (2.1 MB) I took last year of Australian guitar player Tommy Emmanuel drumming his guitar. Emmanuel is a mad man. See him if you get the chance.

Smokies: We're #1! (in Air Pollution)

East Tennessee gets to roll out the giant foam finger once again. Thank you, TVA, for your coal-fired, black-smoke belching goodness. Marvin Runyon was right to push nuclear power. Too bad the regulatory agencies are stacked against it.

Friday Photo Blogging: The Lost Sea ca. 1976

I remember going to The Lost Sea as a kid, but I totally don't remember this picture. It turned up in a photo album my mom put together for my birthday last year.

That's me on the front row with the striped shirt, black socks, and Beatles haircut. I tried to use Photoshop to get more details, but no go. The flash was pretty strong, and it reflected off of the white t-shirt of the kid next to me and washed out my face. Click for a larger version.

LATER: SouthKnoxBubba tried his hand and sent this version of the photo, which, as he points out, trades some detail for noise. (Unlike TV shows like X-Files and CSI, in real world photography you wind up trading one thing for another.) He used Photoshop CS and used Image-->Adjust-->Shadow/Highlight, along with Unsharp Mask to get these results.

Note for them what ain't from around here: The Lost Sea is an underground cavern and lake near Sweetwater, Tennessee. East Tennessee has a karst topography, so there are underground caverns and interesting rock formations all over the place. See, for instance, Rock City.

Tomato Head's Web Site Wins ADDY

In my page on Knoxville night life I recommend Tomato Head for dinner, but lament the fact that "someone needs to build Mahasti a web site."

Someone finally built it, and they did such a good job they won a 2004 ADDY. The site designers were Method Bureau partners Kurt Zinser and Chad Kennedy. Congrats, guys.

Knoxville Convention Center Hotel

SouthKnoxBubba is covering the convention center hotel boondoggle.

Question: why does Knoxville need a bigger hotel at the convention center? All four events scheduled for August are local events that won't attract anyone from out of town.

Knoxville Hotel Referendum Defeated

The Knoxville News-Sentinel reports that preliminary results indicate 70% of Knoxvillians voted against spending money on a new taxpayer-funded downtown hotel. The people have spoken, the smart bastards.

Do you Know who Tyler Harber is?

Answer: Tyler Harber is a drunken jerk who things he can use political connections to live above the law. Via SouthKnoxBubba.

Fire at Arlington Press

I'm home for half a day to supervise some backhoe work, so I get to blog a little this mid-morning.

We heard via 100.3 The River that a fire broke out last night at Arlington Press on Broadway. They share a building with Vic and Bill's Deli, our favorite in that part of town. Melissa's mom heard on the news that Vic and Bill's had some smoke and water damage, but the fire didn't break through to their side of the building.

Does anyone out on North Broadway have the skinny on Vic and Bill's?

Tennessee Pearl Farming

Excellent CNN article on the history of cultured Tennessee pearls. A veteran named John Latendresse who served in Japan and married a Japanese woman brought the practice of pearl culturing to Tennessee.

Return of the New Knoxville Brewing Company

I decided to break out of my recent rut tonight and head the Old City while Melissa was in her yoga class. The street I wanted to park on was closed, so I had to circle around the warehouse district and decided to explore. There's a foundry. There's an electrical supply warehouse. There's the Knoxville Truancy Center, conveniently located near the Knoxville Opera Company so that a truant baritone has a shot at making a better life for himself.

What's this? The New Knoxville Brewing Company Tasting Room. The brew company went out of business four years ago and has been greatly missed. I knew Al, ones of the guys who started it. But there they were, with two guys sitting out front in the 7:00 PM sun. I pulled in and started chatting with Brett and Brad.

Turns out the New (New) Knoxville Brewing Company is open for business again at the old location. They have distribution deals with Kroger's and other local stores for the bottled stuff. They've bought a year's worth of advertising in Metro Pulse and the (UT) Daily Beacon for the Tasting Room, their new bar that's located at the brewery.

Tonight was their opening night and I was their first customer. They're all nice folks. They don't have a Web site yet, but they plan on it eventually. Darts and pool are in the works, too.

Aurora is the brewery dog. She has the most amazing color I've seen on an animal. It's a beige that looks like it was custom ordered to co-ordinate with someone's couch and drapes. Oh, and Kim's nifty, too.

The address is 708 E. Depot Avenue, and the number is 522-0029 if you need directions. Or do what I did. Get lost in the Old City and hang a left.

Crosswire: SouthKnoxBubba and West Knox Momma

The Knoxville News-Sentinel has asked local bloggers SouthKnoxBubba and West Knox Momma to cover the Republican National Convention at CrossWire Blog. If Bubba's first post is any indication, this should be interesting.

Now, if I understand this deal correctly, the powerful, right-leaning Knoxville News Sentinel newspaper is hosting this forum so this nice reporter's charming wife who is a paid professional GOP Operative attending the GOP National Convention on official GOP Business can debate some Bubba, who is apparently being set up as the token liberal punching bag for this event. Sounds good to me. I accept the challenge on behalf of East Tennessee Democrats, and will do my best to make all twenty-seven of us proud.

Anyway, I am so looking forward to watching hour after hour of C-SPAN coverage of White Guys in Gray Suits droning on about the wonderful GOP Agenda that, with enough tax cuts, will create millions of jobs, cure all disease, save our environment, bring Peace on Earth, and protect us from gay people who want to make us marry them, and then hunkering down over my keyboard and grinding out witty and insightful missives explaining why everything they just said is wrong while the nice reporter and his charming GOP Operative wife order up room service to their suite at the Plaza Hotel in NYC and have the concierge fax in the official Karl Rove recap of the day's talking points.

The Hope Clock

(via Chris Range) Help Replace a Downtown Knoxville, Tennessee Treasure

The Hope Clock

The original Hope Brothers Jewelers street clock was a fixture on Gay Street from the moment it was installed in the late 1880s. It gracefully served down- town Knoxville, TN for over 100 years until it was relocated to a suburban shopping
center earlier this year.

In July 2004, Knoxville business people David Dewhirst, Ginger Pickard and Sid Gilreath formed an organization to replace the old clock which had been unceremoniously removed. Actor David Kieth, a Knoxville native, has signed on as a spokesman and will emcee a fundraiser at Preservation Pub later this month. More info on that event will soon follow. The design at left (see a real life example) has been chosen for the clock; and it is to be provided by the Electric Time Company.

Help us replace this lost treasure with a new clock of similar stature
so that future generations may enjoy their time in downtown Knoxville,
Tennessee.

The new Hope Clock will be permanently deeded to the City of Knoxville.

Mail or Hand-Deliver Your Donations to:

The Hope Clock Account
--------------------------
Home Federal Bank
515 Market Street
Knoxville, TN 37902

For more information you may email: Chris.Range[-at-]gmail.com

Glow in the Dark Park

Katie has a WBIR story about the proposal for national parks in New Mexico and Oak Ridge.

The U.S. Senate has endorsed a measure to designate sites in Oak Ridge, New Mexico and Washington state as parts of a national park.

The park would be dedicated to the secret World War II Manhattan Project that developed the first atomic bomb.

I was at Picture Frame Barn when this came over the radio. The clerk came up with the "Glow in the Dark Park" moniker on the spot. Smart lady.

Hurricane Ivan

The good news is that Ivan is no longer expected to stall over East Tennessee, which should reduce the storm's destruction and rainfall. The bad news is that tornadoes are still being forecast. WATE and WBIR have coverage.

I told my boss I might or might not be in Friday, depending on the weather. If it's bad I don't want to leave Melissa here alone and 9.5 months pregnant. I had some drainage work done last week, so we'll see how it holds up. The forecast is for a couple inches tonight and a couple of inches tomorrow, which is down from the 10 inches originally predicted.

Maryville Man Swore Bush into National Guard

I actually found this local story via Drudge. A Maryville, Tennessee man named Ed Morrisey, Jr. swore George W. Bush into the Air National Guard in 1968. He's been getting a lot of questions about Bush's service lately. For what it's worth he has good things to say about Bush. link

Insert Dolly Parton Joke Here

Dollywood is adding 10 new rides in 2005. Here's what I found out from reading the Fark comments:

- Lots of people remember Silver Dollar City (the forerunner to Dollywood).
- Most of the guys on Fark would do Dolly even if she is like 70.

ObSimpons: "Hollywood? Even Dollywood's too far ... Too many people enjoying it ironically." - Ned Flanders

Knox Trading Post

Chris Granju is trying to spread the word about Knox Trading Post, his Knoxville swap-n-