Get Paid $10 to talk 10 minutes

Via an email from Sandy Clark, who got paid to talk about time travel for 10 minutes.

Hi there,

I just got paid for talking about science fiction!

I'm taking part in a study at the University of Pennsylvania that pays $10 for a ten minute phone call. They desperately need male voices. Best of all, you can do this three times over three days, whenever you choose, for $30! It is a linguistic study, so you just chat with a stranger for ten minutes and they record your voice.

They give you a topic. Well lo and behold, my topic today was time travel! I think I probably scared my poor partner to death!

Anyhow, I've pasted the details below. You can win $1000 in one of three drawings they'll be having, Think about it, advance science, make $30, talk with strangers, and maybe win a grand.

-Sandy

Office Envy

I need an office like this.

BTW, has anyone found a chair better than an Aeron? I bought one for Melissa last fall and I plan to buy one for myself before the end of the year. If there's something better out there I don't know about, clue me in quick.

PS: When Melissa moved in I bought her a Bassett oak mission desk from Lowe's. At $275 they're a bargain for what you get, and beautiful, too. They're built really well, and have a slide-out keyboard/mouse shelf with ball bearings, and a detachable wooden cage for the PC. I had a local shop make a glass top for $60. That desk should last for decades.

(I, on the other hand, use a 10 year old particle board special that one of my previous employers was throwing away. Ah, married life.)

Googlisms

"Googlism.com will find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything!"

Googlism for Les Jones:

les jones is able to provide the information that you need
les jones is the partner in charge of audit at grant thornton
les jones is sole owner of light impressions photography
les jones is the conservative candidate
les jones is one of several 2002 recruits who joined proton team kr from the world of f1 car racing
les jones is transcribed verbatim from the tapes of the april 10
les jones is ready to help you with any real estate needs at beautiful hilton head island
les jones is the author of the mammoth aol faq for macintosh
les jones is a master storyteller

Well, the first and last ones are true, but they could be describing another guy with the same name. The second-to-last one is me for sure, though that was years ago. I'll also help you with any real estate needs at beautiful hilton head island if you're paying.

DNA Lounge

You should read jwz's blog, his home page, and his DNA Lounge updates. jwz is Jamie Zawinski, one of Netscape and Mozilla's early programmers, who cashed in his Netscape stock and bought a club in San Francisco.

His blog has some of the cooler graphics on the net, like these 3D Escher models today. Watch the AVIs to see how they work.

jwz has rants like you wouldn't believe. He blogs about the club at the DNA Lounge. Check the most recent entry on one of the bands that played last week:

Photos of the God Module / Tesseract7 / Control Theory show are up now.

The first two were bands (live guitar, bass, and vocals, plus backing tracks.) Control Theory was ok (though I'm pretty tired of "cookie monster" industrial vocals) and I enjoyed Tesseract7 (who were more of a metal band.)

God Module was karaoke.

That "band" consisted of two guys and a girl, all of whom took turns singing. Their microphones were, in fact, turned on, but that's just about it. The girl's keyboard was not hooked into the sound system: it had a bunch of cables plugged in, but they didn't go anywhere. In fact, I don't think it was even powered on. She did spend the whole set pretending to play it, however.

The two guys took turns at the other keyboard. However, the only time any sound (besides the DAT) originated on that side of the stage was when the big guy was over there, which was roughly every third or fourth song. Any time you saw the other guy moving his hands... that's all he was doing, moving his hands. (I know this because I went up to the sound booth to check.)

God Module played here once before, and that time there were only two of them, and I'm pretty sure they didn't play a damned thing that time either (their only instrument had no power cord and no lights.)

How can you do that?

How can you get up on stage and lie to your fans' faces? How can you stand there and pretend to play a keyboard that you know full well is not even plugged in? How much contempt must you have for your audience to do that?

It makes me absolutely furious.

Which prompted hate mail. Here's his response:

I know some of you might be joining us late, so on a more general note, let me try and explain how this works.

Every now and then, when I say something bad about an event we've done here, I get some hate mail calling me "unprofessional." People seem to think that because I'm the owner of the club, I should never say anything negative; everything I say should be rainbows and unicorns. Well, sorry, that's not reality. This part of the web site is where I tell you about what's going on behind the scenes here at the club, and present my personal opinions about it. This is not a fucking press release; this is "the view of DNA from jwz." Yes, I also happen to be the owner; what of it? That's where I am, so that's the only perspective I have.

Many people seem to think that it's insane that I would say anything bad about events that happen here: don't I care about promoting the business? But, see, this is not a publicly traded company. There is no board of directors: my business card says "Benevolent Dictator." I spent a fortune building this venue from the ground up, and we operate it as, essentially, a charity. I receive no salary, and I haven't had a single dime of my investment repaid.

This club is a gift from me to the world.

That means that I don't have to blow sunshine up your ass.

Benevolent Dictator. That's what I want to be when I grow up.

Posted by lesjones Print/Permalink | Comments (0)

Phrase to Remember

Note to self. Try to work this into your writing: She always depended on the kindness of strangers, so she tried to meet men who were kind, or at least strange.

Inspired by a mis-reading of this.

Pens in Spaaaaaace

So I used to believe the story about the American and Russian space programs and their solution to writing in the almost zero gravity of space. Heck, the guy who told me was Russian, and he would know, right? "Pens not write in space, so Americans spend million dollars on space pen. Russians have same problem, but Russians use pencil." The truth is that Fisher designed the pen for the astronauts, but didn't charge NASA for the design.

Now via Pathetic Earthlings I get another shocker - regular pens do write in space. From the ISS journal of Spanish astronaut Pedro Duque':

During my first flight I took with me one of those very expensive ballpoint pens with a pressure ink cartridge, the same as the other Shuttle astronauts. But the other day I was with my Soyuz instructor and I saw he was preparing the books for the flight, and he was attaching a ballpoint pen with a string for us to write once we were in orbit. Seeing my astonishment, he told me the Russians have always used ballpoint pens in space. So I also took one of our ballpoint pens, courtesy of the European Space Agency (just in case Russian ballpoint pens are special), and here I am, it doesn't stop working and it doesn't 'spit' or anything. Sometimes being too cautious keeps you from trying, and therefore things are built more complex than necessary.

I guess any sealed-cartridge pen could work. I have a couple of Fisher space pens. One is a cheapie from the gift shop at the National Air and Space Museum in D.C., and the other is a nice one from a business meeting with NASA at Goddard Space Flight Center. They write upside down, underwater, and on grease. Best of all, they don't skip or go dry. If you ever get a bad cartridge, as I did once, toss it and get a fresh one for five bucks. All of the pens use the same cartridge, so there's no reason to get an expensive model unless you just like the design.

Extreme Pumpkins! extreme!! EXTREME!!!

Sorry, inside joke.

Hey kids! Check out Extreme Pumpkins for all the sickest action.

• Puking Pumpkin 1
• Puking Pumpkin 2
• Gunshot Wound Pumpkin
• Carrie
• Flaming Head
• Electrocution Pumpkin
• Axe to the Head Pumpkin

And check out SouthKnoxBubba's wicked DHTML.

The End of the World

End of the World in Flash. Yeah, that's pretty much how I figured the world would end. Via Chris Range.

Word of the Day: Shibolleth

I just got around to reading Saturday's Merriam-Webster Word of the Day. I knew the meaning of the word, but not the origin.

shibboleth \SHIH-buh-luth\ noun

1 *a : a catchword or slogan used by members of a group but regarded by others as empty of real meaning b : a commonly held belief
2 : a behavior or use of language that identifies a person as belonging to a group

Did you know?
The Bible's Book of Judges (12:4-6) tells the story of the Ephraimites, who, after they were routed by the Gileadite army, tried to retreat by sneaking across a ford of the Jordan River that was held by their enemy. The Gileadites, wary of the ploy, asked every soldier who tried to cross if he was an Ephraimite. When the soldier said "no," he was asked to say "shibboleth" (which means "stream" in Hebrew). Gileadites pronounced the word "shibboleth," but Ephraimites said "sibboleth." Anyone who left out the initial "sh" was killed on the spot. When English speakers first borrowed "shibboleth," they used it to mean "test phrase," but it has acquired other meanings since that time.

The best new word I learned from the WOTD is frigorific. Like Krusty the Klown says, comedy isn't about dirty words - it's about words that sound dirty but aren't.

Year-End Wrapups and Predictions

From Slashdot: Mozilla's 2003 year-in-review and tech predictions for 2004.

From Salon: 2003 in Sports and 10 Best Movies of 2003.

More later. Or not.

LATER: Top 20 N00WD Scenes of 2003. Flavin! It's a Lai-dee!

Check Those Psychic Predictions

Spoons wraps up the year by reviewing his 2003 predictions from 2002.

Bruce Sterling on Mars Settlement

With the Mars probe in the news, this seems timely. Bruce Sterling has a good point about Mars settlements:

I'll believe in people settling Mars at about the same time I see people setting the Gobi Desert. The Gobi Desert is about a thousand times as hospitable as Mars and five hundred times cheaper and easier to reach. Nobody ever writes "Gobi Desert Opera" because, well, it's just kind of plonkingly obvious that there's no good reason to go there and live. It's ugly, it's inhospitable and there's no way to make it pay. Mars is just the same, really. We just romanticize it because it's so hard to reach.

Via boingboing.

"I Always Get Real Good Reception Over by That Pine Tree"

Cell phone companies are disguising cell phone towers to reduce complaints. Via The Volokh Conspiracy.

P.S. They'll pay $1200 a month to put a cell tower on your property? Where do I sign up? Electromagnetic radiation, electromagnetic smadiation. My reception would rock, and the damned thing looks like a tree from the road.

New Word: oViT

I came up with a new word while watching the Super Bowl on TiVo.

oViT: to fast-forward through a TV show or sporting event in order to watch the commercials.

George Bush Action Figure

I plan on voting for George Bush because the Democrats are such wusses, but the Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure is hilarious. Via SouthKnoxBubba.

LATER: I just realized that this post probably offended Democrats and Republicans about equally. Score!!!

I Know What I'm Giving for Christmas This Year

I was at the post office this morning, and while I was waiting in line my eyes wandered over to the "Keep The Mail Safe" poster. It's an illustrated USPS chart showing what you can and can't ship via U.S. mail. If anyone knows where I can get one, email me, because I want to get one for Chris in fulfillment at work.

The poster covers explosives (a no no) and radioactive materials (tsk tsk). Good news: you can ship live scorpions. That's why the USA is number 1. Any person - black or white, man or woman, rich or poor - can ship live scorpions across this great country of ours. Also one-day old live poultry.

The basic premise of the postal mailability statutes is that anything �which may kill or injure another, or injure the mails or other property...� is nonmailable. Several statutory exceptions to this rule permit mailings of otherwise nonmailable matter under specified conditions. Statutory exceptions apply to live scorpions, poisonous drugs and medicines, poisons for scientific use, switchblade knives, firearms, motor vehicle master keys, locksmithing devices, and abortive and contraceptive devices.

Allrighty then.

Comedy Zine has some other useful tips for postal workers subsequent to 9/11:

If you receive mail with a white powder substance on it, you should first inhale the white powder substance through a dollar bill. If you catch a buzz then it was only cocaine. Sit back and enjoy the high. If, however, you inhale it and start to die then you should call the Center for Disease Control Emergency Response. They are in the book.

Wheel of Fortune

Bad news: Melissa and I spent the weekend working on her school project, so light blogging today.

Good news: the project was building Wheel of Fortune in JavaScript. Have fun.

Lunchboxes on eBay

So I was looking for a Battlestar Galactica Thermos on eBay to go with my Six Million Dollar Man Thermos. The next thing I know I found some lunchboxes I had no idea existed.

Sex Pistols

Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast

Cheech and Chong - Up in Smoke

The Osbournes

I can imagine a little kid today knowing about the Osbournes. Did little kids in the early '80s know about Iron Maiden? The Sex Pistols?

Probably the coolest box-n-Thermos I found was for Adam 12. The Space 1999 lunchbox was great, but the Thermos was lame and the price is through the roof.

Quit Meter

I was on Deb's site and noticed the Quit Meter that showed how long ago she quit smoking, and how much money she had saved. I entered my stats, and Quit Meter calculated that I had saved $5,937.00 since I quit in October of 1998.

Then I remembered the old joke:

"Last night I walked home instead of taking the bus. I saved a dollar fifty."

"You should have walked home instead of taking a taxi. You would have saved five dollars."

So, sure, I saved a lot by not smoking. But imagine that I used to snort Peruvian flake off of a $1000 a night call girl's breasts, but then quit. With the money I saved from quitting that nasty little habit I could be rich by now, dammit.

Ethics Quiz

Ethics Quiz for Republicans.

Ethics Quiz for Democrats.

Joel Kotkin on Urban Development and Suburbia

Via Bill Hobbs I found this interview with Joel Kotkin, who analyzes cities and where people live. He's been one of the skeptics of the new urban movement.

It seems to me that cities are like lost souls right now. They're looking for new religions to glom onto. First it was the religion of the pedestrian mall, then it was the religion of convention centers, then it was the religion of ball stadiums and sports arenas. Now it's the religion of culture. There are elements in all of those that may make some degree of sense, but they're not the ultimate solutions to the problems.

The "religion of culture" he's refering to is Richard Florida's book, The Rise of the Creative Class. Here's his analysis of that book:

A piece of Florida's theory is correct. There is a niche for these kinds of boutique cities, but the idea that there's this formula that other cities can follow is shortsighted. He never addresses the issue of affordability. I do a lot of focus groups. When you talk to young people what you find is that many things influence their decision on where to live. It's true that people in their early twenties are interested in cool urban amenities. Then something really bad happens to them: they turn thirty. And when they hit thirty they start thinking, Well, do I want to live in a Motel 6 and pay $3,000 a month? Can I get a job? Maybe I'd like to get married and have children.

One of the worst aspects of the Florida book is that he takes the 1997--2000 period and extrapolates it out as this new paradigm. His work has become an excuse for cities to say the way we're going to pursue development is by creating entertainment districts. Let's show we have more brewpubs than some other place. It doesn't work that way. Jane Jacobs had it right: a great metropolitan economy doesn't lure a middle class--it creates one.

Kotkin says that even childless couples are now moving to the suburbs. The next trend he sees is the urbanization of the suburbs, with stores moving to where people live. He also sees crime control as one of the most important factors for cities to win people back.

Side note: when Melissa and I honeymooned in NYC last year, it seemed very safe. No grafitti on the subway. No weirdoes accosting us on the street. Downtown Chicago seemed safe, too, though we had enough sense to avoid the south side.

Microsoft vs. the Funeral Home

Today is St. Patrick's Day, though you wouldn't know it if you're an Outlook user. I've used computers for about 15 years, and one thing has remained constant. Computer calendars stink.

I was reminded of this recently when I was wondering when Easter was going to fall this year.* Microsoft Outlook doesn't say, and neither do most computer calendars. I usually wind up Googling to find the date of major holidays.

I finally looked up Easter on a free calendar from the local funeral home. This one had all of the major and minor holidays, the phases of the moon, advice on the best dates to plant and harvest crops and the best days to fish in the morning or evening.

This is an open challenge to Microsoft (stock symbol MSFT). Come up with a calendar better than the freebie from the local funeral home (stock symbol DETH). I want Outlook XP to have a Corn Planting Wizard and IntelliFish technology. Failing that, I'd settle for holidays, phases of the moon, and the time changes. Windows automatically adjusts my computer's clock for the time change so I know you've got it figured out. If not, here's the secret formula: the time change is the first Sunday in April and the last Sunday in October.

* The rule of thumb for Easter is that it's the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. The equinox is usually March 21. It's March 20 this year because of leap year. The full moon might come a day after that or it might come almost four weeks later, which is why the date for Easter is so variable (from March 22 to April 25).

The rule of thumb doesn't always work. For a more complete formula for calculating Easter along with its history in the church, see this FAQ at the U.S. Naval Observatory, which is a fascinating site.

Computer calendars could easily calculate the ten U.S. federal holidays:

Under current definitions, four are set by date:

New Year's Day (January 1)
Independence Day (July 4)
Veterans Day (November 11)
Christmas Day (December 25)

If any of the above fall on a Saturday, then Friday may be observed as a holiday by various institutions. Similarly, if one falls on a Sunday, then Monday may be observed as a holiday.

The other six are set by a day of the week and month:

Martin Luther King's Birthday (Third Monday in January)
Washington's Birthday (Third Monday in February)
Memorial Day (Last Monday in May)
Labor Day (First Monday in September)
Columbus Day (Second Monday in October)
Thanksgiving (Fourth Thursday in November)

Data from this USNO page.

Fishing Blog

North Carolina's Siflay Hraka has a secondary blog, Fishing Drinking Stinking, that's one of my new favorites. Man, I wish I could spend my weekends fishing on the coast. I fished on the Carolina coast in high school - flounder, eels, croakers, and all the rest. Then we used the fish heads to go crabbing for softshells. Good stuff.

Answer a Crazy Person

Ask Slashdot is now running letters from crazy people.

Friday's Religion: Zoroastrianism

The Daily Ablution is continuing its look at world religions. This week is Zoroastrianism.

Less Intense - To The Extreme!

Tonight I saw a new Listerine commercial during the Simpsons. The kids all run away, until mom tells them that it's new Natural Orange Listerine, which is Less Intense™. I guess the Extreme this, Radical that, Mountain Dew boy thing has finally played itself out. Expect Nissan to replace the X-Terra with the Nissan Calm Wagon with 1 Wheel Drive and headrest-mounted aromatherapy satchets.

The Upside Down Sandwich

When you eat a sandwich, anything on top of the meat (bacon, cheese, condiments) is on the side away from your tongue. I like my sandwiches upside down so I can taste everything.

That's all.

Spam Word of the Day: Martingale

I got a spam today with "martingale" as one of the random dictionary words. Most people don't know what that word means, even if they're familiar with the idea. In gambling, Martingale describes a betting system in which you double your bet every time you lose. According to the rec.gambling FAQ, it's a bad idea.

Imaginary Girlfriends

I've had some friends who I was sure had imaginary girlfriends, always in other cities and states. Likewise, I've known girls who would make better imaginary than real girlfriends. Turns out you can now buy imaginary girlfriends:

This is a service provided by a real life girl where she will pretend to be your long distance girlfriend by sending you personalized love letters, emails, pictures, leave phone messages (if you want), and provide other girlfriend-like services. This relationship appears real to others that may see these things, but it is not. There will be no actual real life meetings or relationship between you and your Imaginary Girlfriend other than that specified in your order.

What's odd about the service is that some of these "e-girlfriends" are obviously better looking than others, and get booked faster. If I was a girl offering imaginary girlfriend services, I'd steal someone's photo and charge top rates. Of course, that would be lying, which might violate the imaginary girlfriend imaginary code of imaginary ethics.

Spam Word of the Day: Amanita

Found as a random dictionary word in a spam email. Amanita is a genus of mushrooms that includes some of the most poisonous and deadly species in North America. Color ranges from pure white in the deadly Death Angel (Amanita virosa/Amanita bisporigera) to a red-to-orange cap in the hallucinogenic Fly Agaric (Amanita muscaria).

The Salad Bong

I took this picture at a gourmet shop in St. Augustine. A cruet is the glass dojigger that holds vinaigrette. One like this that has two chambers is called a Duet Cruet. We just call ours the Salad Bong.

Shirky on Group Dynamics

The latest Clay Shirky essay deals with group dynamics in social situations, and what we've learned from online gaming. Here's an excerpt.

Word of the Day: Capitonym

Capitonym

A capitonym is a word that changes its meaning (and sometimes pronunciation) when it is capitalized, and usually applies to capitalization due to proper nouns or eponyms. It is a compound word of the word capital with the suffix -onym. Capitonyms are a form of homonym.

Obviously capitonyms can cause confusion when capitalized for other reasons - when starting a new sentence, for example.

• August / august o August: the eigth month of the year o august: inspiring awe or admiration
• Polish / polish o Polish: people from Poland or the Polish language o polish: to make smooth
• Reading / reading o Reading: a town or city name o reading: to examine and understand the meaning of written words

"Prepare for Downcount"

"My blue jeans is tight / So onto my love rocket climb." Plus, they rhyme "space invader" with "Darth Vader." Don't miss it. Via C.D. Harris.

Japanese Novelty Culture

The Japanese arm pillow will be getting a lot of attention now that Drudge has linked to the story.

Snopes has more on Japanese see-through skirts (false) and Japanese breast scarves (true, but not popular).

For all things Japanese, visit Mainichi, a Japanese newspaper in English. The tabloidy WaiWai section (not necessarily safe for work) is pretty out there. I have no idea how much of it is real and how much is completely made up.

And don't miss this Washington Post feature, Who Was General Tso and Why are We Eating His Chicken? Question left unanswered: did General Tso and Colonel Sanders ever face each other in battle? If so, was Captain D involved?

Word of the Day: Ensorcell

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: en�sor�cell
Variant(s): or en�sor�cel /in-'sor-s&l/
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -celled or -celed; -cell�ing or -cel�ing
Etymology: Middle French ensorceler, alteration of Old French ensorcerer, from en- + -sorcerer, from sorcier sorcerer -- more at SORCERY
: BEWITCH, ENCHANT
- en�sor�cell�ment /-m&nt/ noun

The Daihatsu Naked

Tony McGill writes:

Something I saw in Japan.

A Daihatsu model named "Naked".

More cars you don't see everyday.

Word of the Day: Groupuscule

groupuscule

Main Entry: grou�pus�cule
Pronunciation: gr�-'p&s-"ky�l
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from groupe group + -uscule (as in corpuscule corpuscle)
: a small group of political activists

Found in this fine essay on political activism as religion and fantasy ideology, via InstaPundit. I wrote about something similar concerning people protesting the Republican National Convention - NYC Protestors - Next Time, Send Cash and Stay Home.

Richard Kral, My New Personal Hero

Man peed way out of avalanche: "A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it."

Of course, it might have worked just as well if he had poured the beer on the snow, but why take any chances?

Word of the Day: Dsyphesism

Antonym of euphemism

Main Entry: dys�phe�mism
Pronunciation: 'dis-f&-"mi-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: dys- + -phemism (as in euphemism)
: the substitution of a disagreeable, offensive, or disparaging expression for an agreeable or inoffensive one; also : an expression so substituted
- dys�phe�mis�tic /"dis-f&-'mis-tik/ adjective

Via James Taranto.

The Associated Press reports that residents of Bennington, Vt., have voted down a ballot measure "capping the size of big-box retailers to 75,000 square feet." The rejection clears the way for the local Wal-Mart to expand to 112,000 square feet. We love this quote:

Alicia Romac of the pro-cap group Citizens for a Greater Bennington said she wished the decision had been left up to elected officials. "It's special interests interfering with what's best for the community process, and I don't think that's really the best way to run a government," she said.

Up in Vermont, it turns out, "special interests" is a dysphemism for "voters."

Interesting People File: Tim Hunkin

Tim Hunkin is a rare breed - a guy who's steeped in science and engineering, but who's also an artist and illustrator. Click around his site or jump straight to British TV projects, interactive museum exhibits, bonfires, furniture, and his cartoons. He also worked on the flying animals for Pink Floyd's Animals tour. Don't miss the picture of Word Processor Robot from "The Secret Life of Machines."

Sightseeing with Google Maps

Google Maps now offers satellite images. This site links to landmarks as seen by Google Maps satellite photos. They were missing two Knoxville landmarks. Behold the Sunsphere's mighty shadow.

Fontana Lake looks beautiful even from outer space.

Get the Knack

Word of the Day: Abecedary, Abecedarian

Relating to the alphabet, alphabetical order, and the ABCs. Various references have additional definitions for abecedary and abecedarians.

Merriam-Webster

Main Entry: 1abe�ce�dar�i�an Pronunciation: "A-bE-(")sE-'der-E-&n Function: noun Etymology: Middle English abecedary, from Medieval Latin abecedarium alphabet, from Late Latin, neuter of abecedarius of the alphabet, from the letters a + b + c + d : one learning the rudiments of something (as the alphabet)

Dictionary.com:

Abecedarian \A`be*ce*da"ri*an\, Abecedary \A`be*ce"da*ry\, a. Pertaining to, or formed by, the letters of the alphabet; alphabetic; hence, rudimentary.

Abecedarian psalms, hymns, etc., compositions in which (like the 119th psalm in Hebrew) distinct portions or verses commence with successive letters of the alphabet. --Hook.

Dictionary of Difficult Words:

n. book arranged in alphabetical order; elementary text-book. abecedarian, n. member of 16th-century German Anabaptist sect who refused to learn to read. a. alphabetically arranged.

Word of the Day - Mufti

From Merriam-Webster:

mufti � \MUFF-tee\ noun
: ordinary dress as distinguished from that denoting an occupation or station; especially : civilian clothes when worn by a person in the armed forces

Example sentence:
Maureen's family is thankful to have her at home, dressed comfortably in mufti, after a six-month tour of duty overseas.

Did you know?
In the Islamic tradition, a mufti is a professional jurist who interprets Muslim law. When religious muftis were portrayed on the English stage in the early 19th century, they typically wore costumes that included a dressing gown and a tasseled smoking cap, an outfit that some felt resembled the clothing preferred by the off-duty military officers of the day. The clothing sense of "mufti," which first appeared in English around that same time, is thought to have developed out of this association of stage costume and civilian clothing.

Word of the Day: Egoboo

From Word Spy.

egoboo (EE.goh.boo) n. Recognition and praise for a task well done, particularly a task that is performed for free. Also: ego-boo.

Example Citation:
"In science-fiction-fan-speak there's a phenomenon called 'egoboo.'...It means a boost in reputation. Hackers operate in a gift economy in which giant-size egos compete with one another for attention and reputation on the Net. If you do something cool, like reduce the length of a subroutine by 50 percent, you score major egoboo."
 -- Mark Frauenfelder, "Man Against the FUD," LA Weekly, May 21, 1999

Dude! Free Pregnancy Test!

See also:
 - Dude! Free Hookers!
 - Dude! Free Guns!
 - Dude! Free Underwear!

Word of the Day: Fricative

From Merriam-Webster.
Main Entry: fric�a�tive
Pronunciation: 'fri-k&-tiv
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin fricatus, past participle of fricare
: a consonant characterized by frictional passage of the expired breath through a narrowing at some point in the vocal tract
- fricative adjective

It's a cool word that sounds dirty, but isn't! Just like frigorific, but not as easy to work into a conversation.

Why I'm Glad Melissa does the Geneaology

I have enough trouble understanding the "once removed" thing, much less this:

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me mad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

Something like this almost happened to Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman: "Rolling Stones band member Bill Wyman married a 19 year-old model Mandy Smith in 1988. At the same time Wyman's son was engaged to Mandy Smith's mother. If his son had married Smith's mother, Wyman would have been the step grandfather to his own wife."

Gee, If Only We Had Our Wedding to do Over Again

So Melissa is watching her TiVo'ed soaps and two of the characters are getting married in Vegas. The quickie wedding lady is showing them the bouquets and says "This is our most popular model." With that, she picks up a remote control, clicks a button, and the lights in the bouquet come on.

Why do I suspect that lighted remote control bouquets are big in Japan, too?

Where's George? (Washington, not Bush)

When I got change from the Chinese place today one of the bills had WheresGeorge.com written in magic marker. I went to the Web site and typed in the serial number and my zip code. Results here. That bill was registered in Elizabethton, Tennessee, 43 days ago. Kinda cool.

Attn: Jon Krakauer Fans

Phil Greenspun has fulfilled his dream of flying his plane to Alaska. Trip reports here and here.

Cool stuff, but what I found especially interesting was his description of the front page stories in the Anchorage Daily News. I've read books by Jon Krakauer and others about Alaska and the arctic, and it's a harsh environment with rough characters. Phil cites headlines like "3 bodies are found in Cessna" and "Bear that killed 2 was healthy male." I checked the ADN Web site and found this on the front page:

A man who was fatally shot by a North Pole police officer was linked to an attempt last year to break a friend out of Fairbanks Correctional Center by knocking down the prison wall with a front-end loader, authorities said.

You have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at that. Alaska's motto should be "Alaska: a good place to live and a good place to die."

Word of the Day: Funambulism

From Merriam-Webster:

funambulism \fyoo-NAM-byuh-liz-um\ noun

1 : tightrope walking
*2 : a show especially of mental agility

Example sentence:
As a game-show contestant Brian amazed us all with his funambulism, answering every question correctly to win the $10,000 first prize.

Did you know?
Back in ancient Rome, tightrope walking was a popular spectacle at public gatherings. The Latin word for "tightrope walker" is "funambulus," from the Latin "funis," meaning "rope," plus "ambulare," meaning "to walk." It doesn't take any funambulism on our part to see how the word for an impressive act of physical skill and agility came to mean an impressive act of mental skill or agility. That extended sense of the word has been around since at least 1886, when British academic and writer Augustus Jessopp described the act of diagramming sentences as "horrible lessons of ghastly grammar and dreary funambulism."

The Wooden Mirror

A wooden mirror made with movable wooden blocks, servos, video cameras, and a computer. Totally impractical, but what a cool synthesis of old and new. Follow the link for a QuickTime movie of the mirror in action.

Word of the Day: Homograph

Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: ho�mo�graph
Pronunciation: 'h�-m&-"graf, 'hO-
Function: noun
: one of two or more words spelled alike but different in meaning or derivation or pronunciation (as the bow of a ship, a bow and arrow)
- ho�mo�graph�ic /"h�-m&-'gra-fik, "hO-/ adjective

So now I know of three terms for similar words:

• Homonym - same sound, but different spelling and/or meaning, e.g., through and threw
• Homograph - same spelling and capitalization, but different pronunciation and/or meaning, e.g., wind a clock and Gone With the Wind
• Capitonym - same spelling, but different capitalization and/or meaning, e.g., polish and Polish

The Alderan Defense

Hey, lookie! It's a new feature. All-time great defenses.

Politburo Diktat suggests a defense for Saddam Hussein now that a second lawyer on his legal team was murdered:

"The “Aldaran” defense: You can’t put me on trial, I just blew up my lawyers."

The Christian Defense and the Vibrating Rear End Defense

From someone named Tom:

In my first years as a lawyer, I served as a prosecutor for a number of towns just outside Dallas. I handled the really sexy cases -- speeding tickets, barking dogs, high grass and weeds. My favorite defense was the "vibrating rear end defense" (and no, it's not what you think). It went something like this:

"But your honor, I couldn't possibly have been driving that fast -- my shock absorbers are broken, and the rear end of my car starts to vibrate when my car goes over (insert appropriate under-the-speed-limit number here) miles an hour -- so I never drive that fast."

Here's a Q&A from a defendant who decided to use what I call the "Christian Defense":

D: Your honor, I never speed -- I just don't believe in it. And because I'm a Christian and always tell the truth, you can believe what I'm telling you.

Me: I have your driving record right here, and it indicates you have two prior convictions for speeding. Did you forget about those, or were you being untruthful?

D: Oh, I completely forgot about those. And besides, [and I am not making this up] I couldn't possibly have been going that fast, because my shock absorbers are broken, and....

Word of the Day: Glennuendo

Glennuendo - n. The offhand blog comments of Glenn Reynolds.

Used in a sentence: "Using an economics model, I would also posit that people tend to invest less thought and effort into materials that would be reviewed by peers, for instance. For instance, the Glennuendo that one reads at Instapundit is several leagues below the worst exam paper Glenn Reynolds wrote at Yale."

Heh. Indeed. Read the whole thing.

The Rose Mary Woods Defense

An unlikely series of exonerating actions. Via Politburo Diktat:

Nixon's secretary, she claimed to have accidentally erased a crucial 18 minutes of the Watergate tapes, demonstrated in the photo. While theoretically possible, her "simultaneous stretch, reach, press, and push" actions were extremely unlikely. Any one was "possible," but in combination, they were not believable.

Blinker Fluid

SayUncle is having his Festivus airing of grievances and one of them is people not using their blinkers. Just yesterday Glenda at work explained why some people don't use their blinkers - they run out of blinker fluid.

Like me, you probably thought your car's blinkers were solid state. Not true! It turns out that they require blinker fluid. Most people don't realize that, so once their cars run out of blinker fluid they can turn their blinkers on, but nothing will happen on the outside of the car. (The little arrows on the dashboard still flash, because they don't use blinker fluid.)

This definitely explains why you see so few cars using their blinkers, doesn't it? Otherwise, you'd have to believe that lots of people don't know how to drive.

UPDATE: Troubleshooting

Blinkers don't work - No blinker fluid

Blinkers stay on for hours after use -Too much blinker fluid. Very common with cars driven by old people and farmers.

Blinkers come on just as the person turns or changes lanes - An air bubble in the blinker line is preventing adequate hydraulic pressure from building up until the last second.

Other problems - Older cars, especially foreign makes, require special blinker fluid. Using regular DOT 3 fluid will eat out the seals and require a blinker cylinder rebuild.

Made-up Word of the Day: Transferbangle

Ars Technica defined transferbangle as the Australian verb for copying music from CDs to portable music players. What most people in the U.S. would call ripping.

It sounded too Australian to be Australian, so I Googledy-Woogled transferbangle and found that no one but Ars Technica had used it. But what an excellent made-up word.

Word of the Day: Phantom Vibrations

From Columbia News Service via Blake.

Martin Conaghan, a cell phone user in Glasgow, Scotland, thinks that phantom vibrations are psychosomatic.

“When your phone actually does vibrate, you get a bit of a startle every time, until you get used to it; so perhaps your brain starts anticipating a vibration, so that you don't get startled (and embarrassed in public) when one arrives,” Conaghan wrote in an e-mail message.

He equated phantom phone vibrations to a phenomenon he called “vibroglaze," when a person’s eyes glaze over as their attention moves from a conversation with the person in front of them to a vibrating cell phone.

See also:
 - Word of the Day: Butt Dialing

Word of the Day: Necropost

Necropost: a post made to an old, dead thread on a message board.

Example sentence: "You guys do realize that the advice in this thread was requested two years ago and somebody decided to revive it with a necropost?"

Word of the Day: Deodand

From Wikipedia:

Deodand is a term used to describe an object or instrument that had caused a person's death. In medieval Europe it became forfeit to the crown or the church. The word comes from the Latin Deo dandum which means to be given to God.

The practice of deodand was abolished in 1846 in England, some U.S. State constitutions ban deodands, frequently in the same article that bans corruption of blood.

This ancient word has gotten some interest because of this NY Times story about a Maine law that requires guns used in homicides to be destroyed once they're no longer required for evidence.

Given the tight budgets at most police departments I think they should be able to sell their retired guns and guns confiscated in crimes. I think that because I don't believe that guns are possessed or cause their owers to commit crimes. Like Ted Nugent says, if guns cause crime all of mine are defective.

However, I actually agree with the Maine law, and not because of some Medieval superstition about a weapon possessed of evil. If one of my family members was killed with a criminal's weapon, I wouldn't want it going back into circulation. So destroy the murder weapons out of respect for the family, but sell other guns to law-abiding citizens. The loss in income to police is tiny, and you've given a measure of respect for the deceased and their family.

Word of the Day: Informativity

Informativity - Noun. The latest word in my comment spam filter.

Used in a sentence - "Hello all! Very nice site and very informativity!" Posted eleven frikkin' times.

Dope on the Slope, Where Puns are the Koi'n of the Realm

OR,

Carpe Diem.

Also he points to this kick-ass guide to spider families based on the eye patterns/cephalothorax shapes.

Baby Name Wizard

Baby Name Wizard is a cool site, and the Name Voyager is an amazing Web app. Click around to explore names, or type a name a the > prompt to see the popularity of a first name over time. "Ava," "Emma," and "Isabella" have gone through incredible spikes recently.

I was born in 1968 and was named after Leslie Nielsen, back when he was a leading man. According to the Name Voyager that year was just about the peak of Leslie as a boy's name and the beginning of its rise as a girl's name.

See also:
- Best Thing You'll Ever Read About Baby Names

Dude! Free Microwaved Fake Penis!

So a customer hands a 7 Eleven clerk something wrapped in a paper towel. To microwave. The clerk unwraps it to discover what appears to be a severed penis. The twist is that it was a fake penis filled with urine. The customer was probably warming the urine to body temperature for use in passing a drug test. And now you know... the remainder... of... the narrative.*

See also:
- Dude! Free Beer and Lapdances!
- Dude! Free Pregnancy Test!
- Dude! Free Hookers!
- Dude! Free Guns!
- Dude! Free Underwear!

* Paul Harvey? Never heard of him. Why do you ask?

New Ways to Tie Shoes

Cool stuff, with cool illustrations. I like the "shoe view" drawings that show how to tie the knot from the point of view of looking down on your shoes. Via BoingBoing.

Holy Fucking Shit! It's Tourette Syndrome Awareness Week!

Don't you fucking bastards fucking miss it!

From Wikipedia:

The hallmarks of Tourette's syndrome are repetitive, involuntary movements (motor tics) and utterances (phonic tics) that constantly change in number, frequency, severity, and anatomical location. The Tourette Syndrome Association describes tics as movements or sounds "that occur intermittently and unpredictably out of a background of normal motor activity".[2] The tics of Tourette's characteristically come and go. Waxing and waning — a natural increase and decrease in severity and frequency of tics — occurs differently in each individual. Tics are described as occurring in "bouts of bouts", which vary for each person.[3]

Coprolalia (the spontaneous utterance of socially objectionable or taboo words or phrases) is the most publicized symptom of Tourette's syndrome, but it is not required for a diagnosis of Tourette's. Fewer than 15% of TS patients exhibit coprolalia.[4] More common tics are eye blinking, throat clearing, coughing, neck stretching, and shoulder shrugging.

Previous WOTD - Neti Pot

Please Steal This Blog Software Idea

Click on the "Continue reading" link to read this Earth-shattering idea!

Nemesisboy - the Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet

The Internet was just wasted space before Nemesisboy started blogging.

Fist off it should be noted that I'M TAKING A FUCKING VACATION to get away from the hardships and strans of having this blog as a job. You guys are like a giant pair of NUTCRACKERS and my balls are the nuts.*

And this:

I got a CEASE AND DESIST letter form Channel 5 about my CAFEPRESS merchandise!!

GREAT. They get a fuckin helicopter and now they think their big shits.*

See also:
- Mirrordot - the Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet
- Leia's Metal Bikini - The Greatest Web Site on the Entire Internet

Words That Are Funny - Bonghit

Also bongwater, as in "a cup of coffee the color of bongwater" or "Bongwater, Mississippi."

Its Definately Rediculous

Tam is trying to improve the Internet's spelling skills. Here's a thought. Have a test. Don't let anyone on a message board unless they can write this without errors:

If your use of lose and loose is loose you lose,
If they're there, so is their bare bear,
You're going to hell, you two, and your yore-telling ewe, U2, too

Detail for a Buddy Comedy

One buddy's American, the other Australian. The American likes to get his partner's goat by referring to his country of origin as "Kangaroo Island."

See also:
- Throwaway Line
- Moment of Authenticity for a Future Novel
- Snippet from an Unwritten Comedy
- Phrase to Remember

Every Day

Time lapse video of a guy who took a picture of himself every day for six years.