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Tag Archives: conversations
Conversation about the Jonas Brothers
FOUR YEAR OLD KATIE: I like the Jonas Brothers ME: Well, that’s a pretty good song. FOUR YEAR OLD KATIE: Did you know the Jonas Brothers are cute? ME: They are? FOUR YEAR OLD KATIE: Uh huh. They’re very cute. … Continue reading
Conversation about peeing in the pool
Scene: the hotel swimming pool 3 YEAR OLD NATALIE: I got to potty. MELISSA: Do you have to pee or poo? 3 YEAR OLD NATALIE: I got to pee. 4 YEAR OLD KATIE: It’s OK, Natalie. You can pee in … Continue reading
Things I would never have thought would sell: Bass fishing video games
“So, what, you fish for the bass with machine guns and bazookas?” “Nope. Just plugs and spinnerbait and such.” “Not even car batteries or dynamite?” “Neh. Most times a plastic worm and a slow retrieval are your best friends.” “Huh.”
Conversation about the fire department
MELISSA: Do you know where the closest fire station is to our house? ME: It used to be about a mile away, but they moved. MELISSA: Where did they move? ME: Not sure. MELISSA: You’re not sure? ME: Nope. MELISSA: … Continue reading
Conversation about a shallot
WIFE: Have you seen my shallot? ME: Nope. WIFE: It was next to the sink. ME: Yeah? WIFE: It was brown. It looked like an onion. ME: That was a shallot? WIFE: Yes. ME: I thought shallots looked like green … Continue reading
My wife’s conversation about college with our four year old
KATIE: I’m going to college. MELISSA: You are? KATIE: Uh huh. MELISSA: What are you going to study? KATIE: Music and art. MELISSA: Oh no you’re not. You’re going to study something that will get you a job. Previously: Conversation … Continue reading
Conversation at the jewelry counter about earrings
MELISSA: Do you like these? ME: They’re … um … MELISSA: I thought you liked long earrings. ME: I do. It’s just … those are too … chunky. MELISSA: Okay. How about these? ME: I like those. They’re dangley. MELISSA … Continue reading
Conversation about college with my four year old
We’re watching Blue’s Clues and Steve (the guy in the green shirt) is talking about going to college. KATIE: I want to go to college. ME: It’s good to go to college. You can learn a lot. Did you know … Continue reading
Conversation at the new Cafe 4, downtown Knoxville
WAITRESS: And what would you like, sir? MELISSA’S CO-WORKER: I’ll have the All-American Burger. WAITRESS: Excellent choice. MELISSA’S CO-WORKER: So you’ve had it? WAITRESS: Well, no. I’m a vegan. But if I wasn’t a vegan I think I’d really like … Continue reading
It Must Be Weird Having Me As a Dad
KATIE: I’m hungry ME: You’re hungry? KATIE: I’m hungry. ME: Do you want to eat some rocks? KATIE: No! ME: How about furniture? KATIE: (laughing) No! ME: We could eat a computer. KATIE: (laughing) No! ME: You can have this … Continue reading
Conversation About a Snail, or, Photo-editing with Picasa: Focal B&W Filter
KATIE: Look at my snail! ME: Oh, wow. What’s his name? KATIE: Little Tiny Turtle. … KATIE: He’s really brown. I took that photo Father’s Day morning after we dressed the girls. I loved the photo, but for some reason … Continue reading
Conversation at the Computer
So I’m reading the Wikipedia entry on Marion Barry and discover there’s a blackberry cultivar called the marionberry. ME: So you know Marion Barry, the mayor of Washington, D.C.? MELISSA: Yeah? ME: So there’s a blackberry named the marionberry. It’s … Continue reading
Conversation in a Food City Checkout Line
JAY: Do you have your Food City card? ME: I think. Maybe on my keychain. JAY: Here. You can use mine. ME: I’m using your Food City card? Cool. In that case I want five enema bottles, a gross of … Continue reading
Conversation in the Living Room
MELISSA: What are you laughing about? ME: Oh, I’m retarded. I think it’s funny to put the word “ball” on the end of the name of sports that don’t have “ball” on them. MELISSA: What? ME: So like there’s baseball, … Continue reading
Conversation in a Kroger’s Checkout Line
CASHIER: Do you have your Kroger Plus card? ME: I don’t have it with me. Do you have one I can swipe? CASHIER: Oh, you can just enter your area code and phone number and it brings your account up. … Continue reading
The Air Head Talks to the Baby
People who know me will tell you I don’t talk a lot. When I’m around our baby daughter I try to talk more. I can tell she likes when I talk to her, and I enjoy talking to her. Thing … Continue reading
Conversation at a Urinal
In the men’s room at Barley’s tonight I stepped up to a urinal with fluid on the floor. ME: A puddle. Let’s hope that’s water. GUY NEXT TO ME: Yeh. (pause) You know the joke? If you shake it more … Continue reading
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