Million Dollar Ideas

So you know how you can sign up as an Amazon affiliate? Like I can link to something on Amazon with my affiliate code and if you follow the link and buy it I get a commission.

So just think how many times every day someone searches Google, sees an Amazon link in the search results, then clicks on the Amazon link and buys the product.

Eureka! Google just needs to sign up for the Amazon affiliate program and append their affiliate code to search results links to Amazon. It could work with any company that has an affiliate program. Then the guys at Google could sit back and let the mad affiliate money roll in while they play ping-pong, eat gourmet food, and get chair massages.

If they haven’t already thought of it I hereby patent, trademark, and copyright the idea, call “dibs,” “shotgun,” and “no do-overs,” and if you don’t want those gourmet pickles I’ll eat ‘em.

* The unholy alliance of Google and Amazon.

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My million dollar Rice-a-Roni idea

Thursday, September 18th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

So back in the Seventies the parting gift on some game shows was a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni, “The San Francisco Treat.”

Rice-a-Roni should come out with a new flavor called Lifetime Supply so you could buy one box and have a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni.

Also, Lifetime Supply would be a great name for a band’s greatest hits collection.

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My million dollar lipstick idea

Thursday, September 11th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

Someone needs to come out with a shade of lipstick called Hockey Mom Pink.

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Bugly’s Million Dollar Candle Idea

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Bugly had a plan to make scented candles with names like Baloney and Feet. Now Manterns has done stoled his idear.

Hot Wings

The smell of just deep fried hot wings smothered with wing sauce. The combination of butter and hot sauce is enough to drive you nuts. You’ll be on your way to Hooters 10 minutes after lighting this candle!

4th of July

The combination of gunpowder and sulfer gives this man candle the distinctive fireworks smell all guys appreciate. What man won’t love the scent of colorful explosions?

Tennis Ball Can

Who doesn’t love the scent of a freshly opened can of tennis balls? The perfect combination of rubber and flourescent yellow gives this candle that distinct smell any sports-lover will recognize.

Bonus! - Mandles

Tags: million dollar ideas

My Other Million Dollar Music Idea

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments |

So Metallica had a heavy metal album called Metal Up Your Ass. I’m thinking someone could really expand that brand:

- Folk Songs Up Your Ass
- Pat Boone Up Your Ass
- Didgeridoo Up Your Ass
- Paul Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story” Up Your Ass

These guys totally missed out on the Up Your Ass craze.

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My Million Dollar Medicine Delivery Idea

Monday, July 23rd, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

I’m thinking people would pay a lot of money for rapid delivery of medicine. Especially if they need something to relieve constipation. Eureka! I’ll call it FedExLax.

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Chris Range’s Million Dollar Yoga Idea

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

“I’ve invented a device for empirically measuring the effectiveness of zen meditation. I call it the Aum Meter.” - Chris Range

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My Million Dollar Italian-Cajun Restaurant Idea

Thursday, February 15th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

I’d call it Etouffee, Brute? * **

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My Million Dollar Word of the Day Idea

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 | Nifty, Word of the Day | Permalink | No Comments |

I’ve been doing Word of the Day for awhile. This week and next I’m going to do something really radical. I’m going to have a Word of the Day every day.

Not just on random days. Not just on president’s birthdays or dates with prime numbers. I won’t schedule my word of the day based on astrology or the I Ching.

I’ll have a Word of the Day every weekday!

I know what you’re thinking - “Les Jones, that’s the craziest idea I’ve ever heard!” Sure, it’s crazy. But maybe it’s crazy enough that it just might work.

All I ask is that you keep it under your hat. If it’s successful I might patent it and sell it to Webster’s.

Tags: million dollar ideas

My Million Dollar BBQ Ribs Idea

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 4 Comments |

My idea is to have a rib dinner called “Ribs for Her Pleasure” served with a flower. Ladies love BBQ and flowers.

Someone tell Dr. Funkenswine he can use the idea no charge.

Tags: bbq, million dollar ideas

My Million Dollar Proctology Journal Idea

Friday, November 17th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

I have an idea for a new professional journal for proctologists. I’ll call it “The Annals of Proctology.”

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Jay Barnes’ Million Dollar Hair Ice Idea

Sunday, October 1st, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

AKA früzënprödükt. He already has a prototype.

Bonus! - Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback” explained

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My Million Dollar Trucker Song Idea

Monday, September 11th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Step 1. Write a song about a transgendered big rig driver called “Daddy was a Truck-Drivin’ Mama.”
Step 2. Retire.

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My Million Dollar Museum Idea

Thursday, July 6th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

Anyone who work at a museum will tell you that the two most popular features are the gift shop and the restrooms. Why not have a Museum of the World’s Greatest Restrooms and Gift Shops? You may never visit Europe, but now you can experience a pissoir. Think about it - visitors would never have to wait in line for a restroom, and the proceeds from the gift shops would mean you wouldn’t even have to charge admission.

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My Million Dollar Longhair/Parrothead Mashup Idea

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

So what you do is take T.S. Eliot’s greatest poem and recite it to the music for Jimmy Buffett’s greatest song and then you’ll have “Waste Land Away in Margaritaville.” The kids will go crazy for it.

Tags: million dollar ideas

My Million Dollar Beer Name Idea

Thursday, September 15th, 2005 | Best Of, Food & Drink, Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments |

So there’s the St. Pauli Girl, who looks like this:

I looked at that picture and wondered - don’t we have a famous busty blonde in Tennessee? Yes. Yes, we do.

Eureka! The perfect name for an East Tennessee beer would be St. Dolly Girl (or St. Dolli Girl if you want to be pretentious). I’ll leave it to others to do the Photoshops.

Tags: million dollar ideas

They Stoledered My Idear, My Million Dollar Idear

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

From a Drudge Report Flash (meaning the URL may show different content in the future):

A lawsuit to be filed in Federal Court in Los Angeles on Wednesday claims AMERICAN IDOL star Simon Cowell and ABC Television Network conspired to steal the trademarked brand

Tags: million dollar ideas

My Million Dollar Restaurant Idea

Tuesday, December 28th, 2004 | Food & Drink, Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments |

Everyone likes buffets, right? But as more Americans become weight-conscious, buffets are becoming less popular.

So I had this great idea: the all-you-can-eat diet food buffet. You’d have a salad bar, clear soup bar, rice cake bar, grapefruit bar, and dessert salad bar.

Email me now to get in on the ground floor of this historic investing oppurtunity.

Tags: million dollar ideas

My Million Dollar Salad Dressing Idea

Monday, December 20th, 2004 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment |

I’ve come up with a great new salad dressing. It’s like Thousand Island dressing, only better. In fact, it’s exactly 10% better. I call my new dressing Eleven Hundred Island. I’m on the phone right now purchasing the additional 100 islands.

Tags: million dollar ideas

More Million Dollar Ideas

Wednesday, December 10th, 2003 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments |

Everyone likes dougnuts, right? And everyone has to go to the bathroom, right? So why not combine the two? Genius!

That’s Teddy in the picture. Be sure to check out Just Teddy for all the latest Teddy-related news.

Yesterday he was telling me that his electric razor died, and I got another Great Idea: the Norelco Cell Shaver, a clamshell cell phone equipped with Norelco’s patented floating heads so you can get a close, long-lasting shave while you’re driving the car and talking on your cell phone. Angel investors can send money to my PayPal account.

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Home > million dollar ideas

Monday, January 25th, 2010 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Screen Name Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2010/01/25/my-million-dollar-screen-name-idea/" });

Friday, December 25th, 2009 | Funny Ha-Ha, Star Wars | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Star Wars Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2009/12/25/my-million-dollar-star-wars-idea/" });

Monday, September 28th, 2009 | Best Of, Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My million dollar Montana state song idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2009/09/28/my-million-dollar-montana-state-song-idea/" });

Friday, May 29th, 2009 | E-commerce | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Googlezon* Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2009/05/29/my-million-dollar-googlezon-idea/" });

Thursday, September 18th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My million dollar Rice-a-Roni idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2008/09/18/my-million-dollar-rice-a-roni-idea/" });

Thursday, September 11th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My million dollar lipstick idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2008/09/11/my-million-dollar-lipstick-idea/" });

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Bugly&#8217;s Million Dollar Candle Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2008/03/05/buglys-million-dollar-candle-idea/" });

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Other Million Dollar Music Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/12/18/my-other-million-dollar-music-idea/" });

Monday, July 23rd, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Medicine Delivery Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/07/23/my-million-dollar-medicine-delivery-idea/" });

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Chris Range&#8217;s Million Dollar Yoga Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/03/28/chris-ranges-million-dollar-yoga-idea/" });

Thursday, February 15th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Italian-Cajun Restaurant Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/02/15/my-million-dollar-italian-cajun-restaurant-idea/" });

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 | Nifty, Word of the Day | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Word of the Day Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/01/31/my-million-dollar-word-of-the-day-idea/" });

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 4 Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar BBQ Ribs Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2007/01/10/my-million-dollar-bbq-ribs-idea/" });

Friday, November 17th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Proctology Journal Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2006/11/17/my-million-dollar-proctology-journal-idea/" });

Sunday, October 1st, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Jay Barnes&#8217; Million Dollar Hair Ice Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2006/10/01/jay-barnes-million-dollar-hair-ice-idea/" });

Monday, September 11th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Trucker Song Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2006/09/11/my-million-dollar-trucker-song-idea/" });

Thursday, July 6th, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Museum Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2006/07/06/my-million-dollar-museum-idea/" });

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Longhair/Parrothead Mashup Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2006/03/23/my-million-dollar-longhairparrothead-mashup-idea/" });

Thursday, September 15th, 2005 | Best Of, Food & Drink, Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Beer Name Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2005/09/15/my-million-dollar-beer-name-idea/" });

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "They Stoledered My Idear, My Million Dollar Idear", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2005/08/10/they-stoledered-my-idear-my-million-dollar-idear/" });

Tuesday, December 28th, 2004 | Food & Drink, Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 2 Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Restaurant Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2004/12/28/my-million-dollar-restaurant-idea/" });

Monday, December 20th, 2004 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | 1 Comment | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "My Million Dollar Salad Dressing Idea", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2004/12/20/my-million-dollar-salad-dressing-idea/" });

Wednesday, December 10th, 2003 | Funny Ha-Ha | Permalink | No Comments | SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "More Million Dollar Ideas", url: "http://www.lesjones.com/2003/12/10/more-million-dollar-ideas/" });

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